Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

[Babatunde]

In my neighbourhood I noticed a man and his family had moved into one of the larger properties. I noticed he had a hooked nose and swarthy skin, so with some further investigations it has been confirmed to me that he is a joo .

Our church is in desperate need of funds to refurbish and extend the residences of our pastors, and we could do with accessing this joo's obvious wealth. But first, we will need to convert him from his Jesus-killing ways to the True Christian faith.

I realize this will be a long process. Are there any tips or advices you can offer me on converting joos for such purposes?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

Pay him a dollar to listen. No Jew can pass that up. Then apply the proven Twelve Step conversion techniques you have been taught and it's another soul for Christ friend.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

In my neighbourhood I noticed a man and his family had moved into one of the larger properties. I noticed he had a hooked nose and swarthy skin, so with some further investigations it has been confirmed to me that he is a joo .

Our church is in desperate need of funds to refurbish and extend the residences of our pastors, and we could do with accessing this joo's obvious wealth. But first, we will need to convert him from his Jesus-killing ways to the True Christian faith.

I realize this will be a long process. Are there any tips or advices you can offer me on converting joos for such purposes?

I wish you luck Brother Baptitude,

But the money-grabbing nature of the Joo is genetic and not a result of faith. The big-nosed shylocks start gypping everyone they come in contact with as soon as they learn to speak. Trying to "access their wealth" is futile. Just don't let them "access" yours.

In Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

The Spanish Inquistion worked pretty well. Maybe you could start an African Inquisition.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

Joos are joo to the soul and rarely can be converted. You are nigragreaian, you people know how to bamboozle inferior people. Contact the joos' elderly mother, get her to send you her sons money.

[Nobar King]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

I don't really trust Larry King, but this is a lively conversation:
CNN Transcript - Larry King Live: Should Christians Stop Trying to convert Jews?

[CyberYahweh]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

Although it's difficult to for a Christian to squeeze much Joos out of a Synagogue - as it's like squeezing the juice from a coconut - it has been done.

HERE is a highly respected .org site, with excellent conversion statistics. I think that once a Joo can be led to testimony from another Joo; he/she/it may see it as a good investment opportunity. Then both the Joo, and the BLESSED congregation who recieveth him, will benefit.

Good Luck & God Blezz.

[landoverlover]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

You know that the joo would simply call you a "Schvartze" despite his own swarthy skin? You'll get no play from him.

"Schvartzes! Oy, vey; dey darker dan us! ...'s a'right. Cop a walk."

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Advices wanted please: how to convert joos

When I'm unsure I always look at Jack Chick's site to see if he has a tract for the occasion and, as usual, he does.