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  • Father Maurice Lester
    Ring-kissing Papist dog
    • Sep 2006
    • 3366

    #1

    The Next Pope

    It is no secret that his Holiness is not a young man and there can be little doubt Jesus is anxious for Pope Benedict to join him in Heaven with all of the other Popes.

    There are a number of good candidates for the job as the College of Cardinals is chock full of the world's Holiest men, each one ready to serve Our Lord as his voice to his congregation.

    However, a quick peek at the average age of available candidates reveals that most Cardinals are old enough to marry Anna Nichole Smith. (If they have $800 million in handy assets) Now is the time to start looking at some new, younger blood to prepare ourselves for the day God in Heaven calls Rome looking for a new member in his Celestial foursome.

    I have collected a small list of good choices for your consideration and edification. Remember...we Catholics more or less have our hands on the U.S. Supreme Court. Religious change in America is best left to those of us who are not only the stewards of God's Church on earth but the chosen few who decide secular law in the world's most heavily armed nation! (Yes, we've come a long way baby)


    Let us start with a North American. Many feel it is time for some Western style leadership in The Vatican.

    Cardinal Ouellet would be a good choice. He is young (62), insightful and from Quebec where there has never been a whiff of Clerical impropriety. http://www.catholic-pages.com/hierar...io.asp?ref=227

    Africa is our strongest growth sector. Perhaps it is time again for a man of colour to ascend to the Papacy.

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    Cardinal Pengo is a Saint in Waiting(tm) and could bring some very interesting elements to the recently stodgy music selections currently in Roman vogue.

    Rounding out the top three is Cardinal O'Malley.

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    He is from Boston and if anyone can...ah...persuade his fellow Cardinals to promote him it is surely he. (He will have to lose the beard though.)


    I'll be back with some more options. Until then perhaps we could have a civil discussion of this most imporatant of topics...we are talking about God's representative on earth after all!



    Bless you my children,
    Father Mo
    A Cardinal in the making.

  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: The Next Pope

    I have an idea for you mary-worshippers. Why not just skip the middle man and go ahead and appoint satan as the next pope? Why continue with the pretense, when we all know that he is your master anyway? The evidence is CLEAR.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Talitha
      Deaconess
      Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2026
      • 15118

      #3
      Re: The Next Pope

      Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
      I'll be back with some more options. Until then perhaps we could have a civil discussion of this most imporatant of topics...we are talking about God's representative on earth after all!
      Well, you are just talking about some leader of a Pedophile Ring, whereas we wuld be talking about Jesus© coming back to Save© True Christians™

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



      Comment

      • Pastor Isaac Peters
        Senior Pastor
        Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
        Always Biblically correct
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 10639

        #4
        Re: The Next Pope

        Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester (with some slight corrections by MSTT) View Post
        It is no secret that his Unholiness is not a young man and there can be little doubt Satan is anxious for Pope Maledict to join him in hell with all of the other Popes.

        There are a number of good candidates for the job as the College of Cardinals is chock full of the world's most prolific kiddy-fiddlers, each one ready to serve our dark lord as his voice to his congregation and also help himself to the choicest altar boys.

        However, a quick peek at the average age of available candidates reveals that most Cardinals are old enough to marry Anna Nichole Smith. (If they have $800 million in handy assets, and if Anna Nicole were male and a bit younger) Now is the time to start looking at some new, younger blood to prepare ourselves for the day God in Heaven drop-kicks the current C.E.O. of the Great Whore of Babylon into the lake of fire.
        There. Much better.
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

        sigpic

        Comment

        • Bobby-Joe
          Landover Security Superviser
          Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
          NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 18405

          #5
          Re: The Next Pope

          So how does the Collage of the Cardinals choose the Pope Father Mo? The winner of the running of the alter boys?

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

          Comment

          • Brother V
            True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 3481

            #6
            Re: The Next Pope

            Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
            It is no secret that his Holiness is not a young man and there can be little doubt Jesus is anxious for Pope Benedict to join him in Heaven with all of the other popes....


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            Bless you my children,
            Father Mo
            Does anyone else find it ironic that Father Mo provided links to

            Catholic PAGES.

            So you have catholic pedo's and the Congressional version of altar boys.

            V
            Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

            Comment

            • SUV
              True Christian™ Princess
              The Driving Force behind RA12
              Have at it, anytime!
              • Sep 2006
              • 11027

              #7
              Re: The Next Pope

              Seems to me their main criteria in electing these herectic Homer!s would be: Who looks most Masculine in those dresses they wear? Thereby keeping the lines open for official business and not having them swamped with Proposals of Marriage from the likes of Richard Simmons, should one of these "Men" look even a little extra "gay!"

              In fact, doing something like this Right here - and keeping it that way -would be a step in the Right direction:

              Comment

              • Hushed_Agony
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Sep 2006
                • 105

                #8
                Re: The Next Pope

                Originally posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
                Seems to me their main criteria in electing these herectic Homer!s would be: Who looks most Masculine in those dresses they wear? Thereby keeping the lines open for official business and not having them swamped with Proposals of Marriage from the likes of Richard Simmons, should one of these "Men" look even a little extra "gay!"

                In fact, doing something like this Right here - and keeping it that way -would be a step in the Right direction:

                *thinks of the sammich he had earlier* Looks like he is drowning. His hands are held up for his friends in drag to help him. Of course he will cop a feel while being "saved". I guess I don't understand why the candidates should be young. Is that because their skin is less wrinkled and makes them more appealing to the others? I see it as an offering to the elders of the dirty cathylick ways. I dunno, all I do know is that I am glad Jesus doesn't require me to wear a dress and a sammich on my head.

                YIC
                Hushed
                And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

                Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
                Pslams 51:7

                Comment

                • Witch Hammer
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 1717

                  #9
                  Re: The Next Pope

                  I'm sure the FBI would be very interested in investigating the utterly sinful contents of Father Mo's hard-drive.

                  God curse you, O wearer of the crusty frock!

                  Comment

                  • SUV
                    True Christian™ Princess
                    The Driving Force behind RA12
                    Have at it, anytime!
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 11027

                    #10
                    Re: The Next Pope

                    Originally posted by Hushed_Agony View Post
                    I am glad Jesus doesn't require me to wear a dress and a sammich on my head.
                    Me too. This is kind of like, "eat it or wear it" Right?

                    SUV

                    Comment

                    • Fish
                      Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
                      On the point of being banned for lying and libel
                      Foul Sinner on Moderation
                      • Oct 2006
                      • 318

                      #11
                      Re: The Next Pope

                      Jesus himself wore a robe. It's not a dress. There is a difference. Conform a little, it's not too bad.

                      Comment

                      • Witch Hammer
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 1717

                        #12
                        Re: The Next Pope

                        Fish, you disgust me and you are an abomination unto The Lord. Go prance around in your tutu and leotards on some other forum, your shameless promotion of homersexural trends is unwarranted and unwelcome here in our Church. Begone in Christ's name, you thrice cursed hermaphrodite!

                        Comment

                        • Fish
                          Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
                          On the point of being banned for lying and libel
                          Foul Sinner on Moderation
                          • Oct 2006
                          • 318

                          #13
                          Re: The Next Pope

                          Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                          Begone in Christ's name, you thrice cursed hermaphrodite!
                          Do you even know what a hermaphrodite is?

                          Comment

                          • Witch Hammer
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 1717

                            #14
                            Re: The Next Pope

                            Originally posted by Fish View Post
                            Do you even know what a hermaphrodite is?
                            Look in the mirror! You're a circus freak with multi-level genitilia! Baby Jesus hasn't stopped puking since you joined the forum...get thee hence!

                            Comment

                            • Fish
                              Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
                              On the point of being banned for lying and libel
                              Foul Sinner on Moderation
                              • Oct 2006
                              • 318

                              #15
                              Re: The Next Pope

                              LOL Ok matey, Baby Jesus is puking... Gotchya

                              Comment

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