Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

[Johny Joe Hold]

Public Notice: New Initiative to Restore Trust Among Our Citizens

Friends of Freehold, we are experiencing a temporary crisis that City Hall intends to deal with in an orderly and neighborly manner. The crisis is that many citizens report to me about, shall we say, "less-than-complimentary" activities of other citizens.

The reports I receive are seldom about activities that would require the services of Officer Richards. That is to say, they are not about breaking laws. They are activities that question the moral standing of the parties involved.

It is difficult, sitting in the Mayor's Office, to make judgements about many of these matters. When someone reports to me, "I'm quite sure it was not his wife", or, "It sounded like swearing but I was a few feet away", I am not sure what role I should play in resolving the matter.

I have decided these issues can be best addressed with the new technology now available. I have ordered the installation of space-age equipment called TruthCam™. Several dozen units are being installed today.

These are devices similar to what we would have called in the old days, cameras. They record what people are doing and saying and transmit the images to a Central Monitoring station. Central Monitoring (CM) then removes material taken of our Pastors and City Government elected officials and makes the remaining images available to other interested citizens.

This completely transparent system should put an end to rumors and speculation as to who is, and who is not, conducting their lives in a truly Christian way. I look forward to your participation in this new day for our wonderful City.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[James Hutchins]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Terrific idea mayor, if additional funding is needed I'll be more than happy to kick in a a few bucks.

By the way, no cameras will be needed in a few block radius of the Landover Mens Club. As you know, the Club maintains a discreet security force thoughtout the area.

Speaking of the club, you and I have not had lunch there in a while. I still have your wallet that you dropped during you last visit and would love to return it. I am not comfortable holding on to that much cash.

[Forest Spirit]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Do you get ALL of your material from The Simpsons?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Do you get ALL of your material from The Simpsons?

Do you always sound like some stoned, tree hugging moonbat?

That fact is people have been taking advantage of the War of Terror to "push" the rules here in Freehold. Sadly we of the Security Detachment are partially to blame. In our enthusiasm is stopping the Islamic threat we forgot about the enemy within. We were blind to the danger growing in our TRUE Christian community until Johny Joe Hold pointed it out.

Now Pastor Zeke has explained he has no intention of being a later day Dainel while Mayor Hold plays King Jeconiah as Obama as Nebuchadnezzar storms Freehold. The streets of Freehold will be cleaned up of the smut that's overrun it.

Stand by for action.

[landoverlover]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Amen. Just like warrantless searches, NSA electronic E-mail eavesdropping, rendition, wiretaps and other necessary measures, the innocent have nothing to fear.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Even though I don't live in Freehold (yet), I for one am very pleased with this new initiative. Enough with the hearsay and down with heresy! Glory!

Make no mistake: the work of Officer Richards has been terrific, and I'm sure he will applaud this extension of his eyes and ears.

Once again, Mayor Hold proves that he knows, and fully understands, the balance between Caesar and The Lord our God.

James, don't worry. The plans are being rolled out as we speak, and obviously we know a Platinum Tither when we see one.

This operation will consist of thousands of miles of cable, thousands of TruthCams®, and a new building for the CM/DoF joint task force.

As Bobby-Joe rightfully points out: we have been concentrating on external enemies, but, in that process, have been forced to make sacrifices when it comes to the Freehold mores. Interviews are being held as we speak, in order to strengthen the Security Department with at least ten people, maybe more. (exact number can not be reveiled courtesy of the DoF)

PS: Mayor Hold, did we decide to go full HD or not?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Make no mistake: the work of Officer Richards has been terrific, and I'm sure he will applaud this extension of his eyes and ears.

But what about the extension this will cause to Off' Richards waistline as he sits back and watches the monitors stuffing his face with half the daily output of the local Krispy Kreme?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

But what about the extension this will cause to Off' Richards waistline as he sits back and watches the monitors stuffing his face with half the daily output of the local Krispy Kreme?

Oh, nice. Officer Richards sacrifices even his health to protect and serve, and that's how you thank him.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Oh, nice. Officer Richards sacrifices even his health to protect and serve, and that's how you thank him.

Yes, Officer Richards deserves the occasional tasty treat for the the hard work he does.

Then again this Jo Freddie talking, the man who claims Mayor Hold's speeches are just recycled Hitler speeches with the work "Jew" replaced with the word "Democrat" and "unincorporated county land" subsisted for "living space". Freddie has parrots on the brain.

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Well, I know a fine idea when I see one, Praise Him! I will tell you, and I know this for an absolute FACT, thanks to Mrs LHM: The local Victoria's Secret changing rooms are an absolute DEN of possible un-Christian activity, and would bear the closest possible scrutiny. If the Freehold area has one of these, you should bear this fact in mind. I thought you should know.

Keep up the great Blessed work, you are very lucky to have such a town, run by such Upstanding Christian souls!

[Nobar King]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

I have full time CCTV surveillance around my house to protect me from trespassers. I don't watch it all the time, but it's handy to have if I notice poop on my lawn I can identify the owner and bring them back their 'gift'.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

PS: Mayor Hold, did we decide to go full HD or not?

HD? Yes, absolutely.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Well, I know a fine idea when I see one, Praise Him! I will tell you, and I know this for an absolute FACT, thanks to Mrs LHM: The local Victoria's Secret changing rooms are an absolute DEN of possible un-Christian activity, and would bear the closest possible scrutiny. If the Freehold area has one of these, you should bear this fact in mind. I thought you should know.

Keep up the great Blessed work, you are very lucky to have such a town, run by such Upstanding Christian souls!

We dealt with the threat of Victoria's Secret (Porn) a while back:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=47895&highlight=Victoria%27s+Secret

We'll not see them in this our City.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

Public Notice: New Initiative to Restore Trust Among Our Citizens

Friends of Freehold, we are experiencing a temporary crisis that City Hall intends to deal with in an orderly and neighborly manner. The crisis is that many citizens report to me about, shall we say, "less-than-complimentary" activities of other citizens.

The reports I receive are seldom about activities that would require the services of Officer Richards. That is to say, they are not about breaking laws. They are activities that question the moral standing of the parties involved.

It is difficult, sitting in the Mayor's Office, to make judgements about many of these matters. When someone reports to me, "I'm quite sure it was not his wife", or, "It sounded like swearing but I was a few feet away", I am not sure what role I should play in resolving the matter.

I have decided these issues can be best addressed with the new technology now available. I have ordered the installation of space-age equipment called TruthCam™. Several dozen units are being installed today.

These are devices similar to what we would have called in the old days, cameras. They record what people are doing and saying and transmit the images to a Central Monitoring station. Central Monitoring (CM) then removes material taken of our Pastors and City Government elected officials and makes the remaining images available to other interested citizens.

This completely transparent system should put an end to rumors and speculation as to who is, and who is not, conducting their lives in a truly Christian way. I look forward to your participation in this new day for our wonderful City.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

Amen, Mayor Hold. It's about time that we implimented this aspect of project Habakkuk.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Public Notice: Restoring Mutual Trust

HD? Yes, absolutely.

Not 3D?