[eliot mayfield]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

It is possible and our doctors can certainly do it if these doctors can.
But there might be a tiny problem:


"Evidence of intended paternity. Sperm retrieval after brain death can be ethical, provided there is explicit prior or reasonably inferred consent. Post-mortem consent clearly cannot be provided directly by the deceased man. Pre-mortem consideration of post-mortem conception is rarely anticipated, "

http://www.cornellurology.com/guidelines.shtml

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

It is possible and our doctors can certainly do it if these doctors can.
But there might be a tiny problem:


"Evidence of intended paternity. Sperm retrieval after brain death can be ethical, provided there is explicit prior or reasonably inferred consent. Post-mortem consent clearly cannot be provided directly by the deceased man. Pre-mortem consideration of post-mortem conception is rarely anticipated, "
http://www.cornellurology.com/guidelines.shtml

We have prior written consent witnessed by several unimpeachable sources as well as a wedding certificate dated.....well, the date isn't on it yet, between Sister Talitha and Brother Blank Mike.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

We have prior written consent witnessed by several unimpeachable sources as well as a wedding certificate dated.....well, the date isn't on it yet, between Sister Talitha and Brother Blank Mike.

I can personally attest to the fact that Brother Mike signed (and had each of his signatures notarized by none other than Sister Betty Bowers) any number of legally binding documents. Anything you need.

[Pastor Nereu Gargalo]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

I didn't know the Amish carried guns...

Never underestimate your enemy.

[Talitha]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

If you haven't been keeping up with this event, I have great news.

My Doctors at Freehold Memorial have finished experimenting on Poor Mikeys tiny Tadger. With a balance of tickling with feathers and electrical current we are getting a "desired effect" and they are sure that the Seed is ready to flow.

My own preparations are done, and my own donor Womb will be ready to carry a new Christian Soldier™ if the procedure can be carried out prior to the Book Burning on 31st October.

Even better news is that there may be more Seed than needed, and perhaps if we can experiment further, a whole Regiment may be possible.
I believe a Pastor has been made available to draw up the final contract carry out the ceremony.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

...Hmm...Good question. I'm sure there must be SOME difference, but I admit I can't think of what that is.....

Yes. It is a good question. I believe it may have been Hairy Homer who argued that putting Brother Mike in a coma wouldn't alter either his IQ or basic brain functioning.

Perhaps the difference is that he is not ambulatory and shouting "faggit, faggit, ya boo ya faggit".

[lilith]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Yes. It is a good question. I believe it may have been Hairy Homer who argued that putting Brother Mike in a coma wouldn't alter either his IQ or basic brain functioning.

Perhaps the difference is that he is not ambulatory and shouting "faggit, faggit, ya boo ya faggit".

And you lot want an army of offspring from Brother Mike....WHY exactly?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Yes. It is a good question. I believe it may have been Hairy Homer who argued that putting Brother Mike in a coma wouldn't alter either his IQ or basic brain functioning.

Perhaps the difference is that he is not ambulatory and shouting "faggit, faggit, ya boo ya faggit".

That's what I said
There's no other way to tell the difference.

And you lot want an army of offspring from Brother Mike....WHY exactly?

I can think of several possibilities, each more disturbing than the last

Wouldn't this whole....thing....be a very unchristian act?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Wouldn't this whole....thing....be a very unchristian act?

Sister. nothing we could do to protect the assetsbloodline of Dear, Rich Brother Mike would be in any way unChristian.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Sister. nothing we could do to protect the assetsbloodline of Dear, Rich Brother Mike would be in any way unChristian.

Bro Mike was rich? I assumed he was a hillbilly not as well off as some of the members in this church.

And I know I'll regret asking but...umm...what does the turkey baster do?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Bro Mike was rich? I assumed he was a hillbilly not as well off as some of the members in this church.

And I know I'll regret asking but...umm...what does the turkey baster do?

Yes, you WILL regret asking that but I am a pastor and my job is to instruct the flock. Let me see how to phrase this... do you remember when you got pregnant? Did your husband (or whoever) actually TOUCH you and commit a sin, or did he spill his seed into a turkey baster and impregnate you with that?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Yes, you WILL regret asking that but I am a pastor and my job is to instruct the flock. Let me see how to phrase this... do you remember when you got pregnant? Did your husband (or whoever) actually TOUCH you and commit a sin, or did he spill his seed into a turkey baster and impregnate you with that?

We saw nothing wrong with doing things the old fashioned way, as is usually the norm, and indeed, the pregnancy was not a planned one. And YES it was my husband you meanie!

But anyway.....so let me get this straight.....you want to get a turkey baster....and.....and.... I don't want to know how Sister Talitha plans on obtaining the sample, but hey, that idea IS better than the alternative.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Being a cripple, Brother Mike is probably hellbound anyway, so having an assisted M-ing session with the purely Holy intent of baking future soldiers for Christ can't make things any worse for him. We always need more Christian men who know their way around a baseball bat ministry.

Leviticus 21:17-23
Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. ... Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.

[Talitha]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Well, after spending a day at Mikeys bedside things are not looking too good.
His heart rate has dropped to a level where we may not be able to get a suitable sample.

The Celebratory Conception may not take place after all.
It's a blow to Mikeys memory, but obviously Jesus© has made alternative arrangements.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Brother Mike’s status.

Evolution strikes again! Now if only Bro Mike had died in some bizarre self induced accident he could be nominated for a Darwin award, and I, for one would personally visit his grave and thank him for no further input into the gene pool!