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  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027
    #1

    SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

    You'll notice I didn't say "Happy." It would be simply obscenity for a True Christian.

    This is why both Jesus and Officer Friendly (Ofcr Don Richards) are watching you!
    Tags: None
    • Gabriel Reproba
      Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
      The Most Honest Lawyer in America
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2479
      #2
      Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

      Thank you, sister!
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

        Comment

        • SonofLucifer
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Dec 2010
          • 1
          #3
          Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

          HAPPY NEW YEAR, TRUE BASTARDS


          Jesus & Muhammad kissing


          jesus thong



          sex toy jesus dildo



            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996
              #4
              Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

              Originally posted by SonofaRetard View Post
              HAPPY NEW YEAR, TRUE BASTARDS


              Coming soon:
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • BaronOB
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 207
                  #5
                  Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                  Originally posted by SonofLucifer View Post
                  HAPPY NEW YEAR, TRUE BASTARDS

                  Happy New Year Sinner, Hell is waiting for you!

                  Proverbs 1:7 King James Version (KJV)
                  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

                    Comment

                    • BelieverInGod
                      Fourm Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Feb 2010
                      • 9269
                      #6
                      Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                      Thank you for the safe wishes Sister, we will be staying home praying for the rapture. I'm feeling a little morose that another year of depravity has gone by and Jesus hasn't called us home.
                      Drama queen

                        Comment

                        • Johny Joe Hold
                          Mayor of Freehold
                           
                          • Feb 2010
                          • 13041
                          #7
                          Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                          Originally posted by SUV View Post
                          You'll notice I didn't say "Happy." It would be simply obscenity for a True Christian.

                          This is why both Jesus and Officer Friendly (Ofcr Don Richards) are watching you!
                          Thank you, Sister.

                          I am looking forward to 2011 like other True Christians™.

                          May it bring many opportunities to judge and set straight the misguided, unsaved and sinful people we encounter here at LBC.
                          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                            Comment

                            • Didymus Much
                              Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 14079
                              #8
                              Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                              If "Safe New Year" is acceptable to to you, then of course I wish one to all y'all and all y'ours

                                Comment

                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                   
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 78556
                                  #9
                                  Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                                  Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                                  If "Safe New Year" is acceptable to to you, then of course I wish one to all y'all and all y'ours
                                  She was wishing a safe new year for Christians, not unsaved unrepentant scum like you.

                                  We're all praying that Jesus kills you lot and sends you all to hell, and soon. Shout Glory!
                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                    Comment

                                    • Didymus Much
                                      Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                      • Jun 2010
                                      • 14079
                                      #10
                                      Re: SAFE New Year, Christians!!!

                                      In the (hopefully temporary) absence of Jo Freddie, I offer A Pastafarian Toast for the New Year:

                                      May your mainsail be full of fair breeze,
                                      May your coffer be teeming with plunder,
                                      May your lookouts be keen for revenooers,
                                      May ye be upwind when somebody chunders.

                                        Comment

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