Hell Is...

[Born Again Bob]

Aw, I don't think 'Hell' sounds too bad if I'm headed there! (though I don't think so)

Dear Friend,

I am challenging myself to find fresh ways to express the awfulness of Hell, as improbably enough, people are starting to glaze over when you talk about eternal fire and darkness. So... here goes...

HELL IS...

...sharing an elevator with just Pat Sajak for all of Eternity
...getting a pinprick anytime anyone anywhere types LOL
...copying the contents of the New York Public Library in longhand -- and having to start over if you make any errors
...losing your virginity and always getting it back again



...having to go on The Dating Game with the 9/11 hijackers
...judging the Gong Show -- sans gong
---being granted a superhuman IQ and compelled to write all new episodes of Life According to Jim



...all J Lo news all the time, as presented by her unwaxed, talking anus
...that dream where you're wearing Dulce & Gabana to the Versace function, combined with an overnight stay in Delaware

Is this starting to drive home the horror at all?

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hell Is...

I'm thinking being burned alive in God's Lake of Fire, unable to die and unable to escape, with no chance of forgiveness, is pretty well worse than anything you might imagine, Bob!

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Hell Is...

I'm thinking being burned alive in God's Lake of Fire, unable to die and unable to escape, with no chance of forgiveness, is pretty well worse than anything you might imagine, Bob!

Dear Brother,

God bless you, I can tell from that comment you've never written an episode of Life According to Jim!

Yours in His Abundant Love and Possibly Staying on Your Futon,
BAB

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hell Is...

Dear Brother,

God bless you, I can tell from that comment you've never written an episode of Life According to Jim!

Yours in His Abundant Love and Possibly Staying on Your Futon,
BAB

Jim who?

[Talitha]

Re: Hell Is...

Jim who?

You never heard of Jim??

Hell for me would be being in the same room as someone who has NEVER heard of Jim.
Nearly as bad as being in a room full of atheists

[LilyAmong]

Re: Hell Is...

This is hell...

"First, Moloch, horrid King, besmeared with blood
Of human sacrifice, and parents’ tears;
Though, for the noise of drums and timbrels loud,
Their children’s cries unheard that passed through fire
To his grim idol."
-Milton, Paradise Lost

And this...

Saline Injection is done by inserting a long needle through the mother’s abdomen and then injecting a solution of concentrated salt into the amniotic fluid. The baby dies through salt poisoning, dehydration, hemorrhages, failures of organs, and experiences convulsions. The child’s skin is chemically burned by the salt as well. It can take several hours for the baby to die in this manner. One to two days later the mother goes into labor and delivers her dead child.
http://sophiesmindset.blogspot.com

And this...

No light, but rather darkness visible
Served only to discover sights of woe,
Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace
And rest can never dwell, hope never comes
That comes at all; but torture without end
Still urges, and a fiery deluge, fed
With ever-burning sulphur unconsumed.
Such place Eternal Justice had prepared
For those rebellious; here their prison set,
As fat removed from God and light of Heaven
As from the centre thrice to the utmost pole.
Oh how unlike the place from whence they fell!
-Milton

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hell Is...

This is hell...

"First, Moloch, horrid King, besmeared with blood
Of human sacrifice, and parents’ tears;
Though, for the noise of drums and timbrels loud,
Their children’s cries unheard that passed through fire
To his grim idol."
-Milton, Paradise Lost

And this...

Saline Injection is done by inserting a long needle through the mother’s abdomen and then injecting a solution of concentrated salt into the amniotic fluid. The baby dies through salt poisoning, dehydration, hemorrhages, failures of organs, and experiences convulsions. The child’s skin is chemically burned by the salt as well. It can take several hours for the baby to die in this manner. One to two days later the mother goes into labor and delivers her dead child.
http://sophiesmindset.blogspot.com

And this...

No light, but rather darkness visible
Served only to discover sights of woe,
Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace
And rest can never dwell, hope never comes
That comes at all; but torture without end
Still urges, and a fiery deluge, fed
With ever-burning sulphur unconsumed.
Such place Eternal Justice had prepared
For those rebellious; here their prison set,
As fat removed from God and light of Heaven
As from the centre thrice to the utmost pole.
Oh how unlike the place from whence they fell!
-Milton

Where the heck in the Bible is the Book of Milton!? BEfore or after the Book of Keynes?

[LilyAmong]

Re: Hell Is...

I'm curious sir Lost Sheep, do you not read anything that isn't the Bible? He is speaking of events that are in the Bible, but he is a better writer. And that one in the middle isn't in the Bible either, do you object to that paste too?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hell Is...

... other French people.
... Ikea on a Sunday.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hell Is...

I'm curious sir Lost Sheep, do you not read anything that isn't the Bible? He is speaking of events that are in the Bible, but he is a better writer. And that one in the middle isn't in the Bible either, do you object to that paste too?

Of course I object to it. All of that crap.

And I DO have to read many unbiblical pieces, I am a translator after all. That doesn't mean I have to admire the garbage I'm translating, does it?

And as for Milton being a better writer than God...I'd say that's only a little less heretical than joking about Jesus.

On your knees now and pray.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hell Is...

I'm curious sir Lost Sheep, do you not read anything that isn't the Bible? He is speaking of events that are in the Bible, but he is a better writer. And that one in the middle isn't in the Bible either, do you object to that paste too?

Milton made things up and pretended they were in the Bible.

There is no Biblical evidence for Hell being anything other than God's Lake of Fire. How descriptive must one be? On fire. Forever. No way out, no hope.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hell Is...

J-Lo's ass in my face for all eternity is a pretty horrible thought. I can't think of anything more disgusting than some wanton, sex obsessed harlot forcing her body on me.

Other things Hell is like:

• Being trapped watching an endless Pride Day parade.
• Being forced to rebut every comment made by the American hating moonbats at Daily Kos.
• Being forced to listen to an endless lecture on the merits characteristics of various metal fasteners.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Hell Is...

Hell is like...

...being a liberal jew loving democrat politician who actually has to live with the "freeloading 'gibsmedat' I'm entitled" nigra and negroidial immigrants they shower with empty promises every four years.

...being born a man and then being turned into woman on your 18th birthday by a wizard.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hell Is...

For me, Hell is the knowledge that there are atheists and God haters in the world. Sometimes even in the same room!

[María Gálvez-Villalobos]

Re: Hell Is...

The Hell is perhap my live until now in a catolic den of iniquities and sex-obsesionate machos and women too that they practice the sex-obsesionate sexual actions everywhere and all over the place and each other no caring what time of the day or the place and NO ONLY that, but having to be a Witness of Jehová totalitarian style obedience and rejected by the rest of the society as some kind of weirdos when we go door to door and NO ONLY this but then your ex-fiancé cheat on you with a estate agent who old enough for be his mother old and wrinkles and in the apartment WE WERE supooseing for buy when I discovere them by pure total accciednt and chance and go to the elders of church and they say is my fauklt and I decide to leave the false cult because I seee them for what they is and I get reject by all my old friends and some of my family and then discover Landover True Cristians and suddenly think at myselve 'OH MY GOSH WHY I NO REALIZATE THIS BEFORE, MARI?' and then I look back in my live and I see it were a alive hell on earth because it was no what God intended and here I am willing and ready for Jesus come in me and revive my espirit because all was a Hell before.

And I'm no want go back to that. No sir.