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I don't know where to stick this thread... What would Jesus say to me owning one?
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"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004 -
Re: Flamethrowers
Depends what you wanted to use it for. Flamethrowers don't kill people, negroes and sand negroes kill people.Originally posted by narrowpathy View PostO Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity. -
Re: Flamethrowers
I want to be saved and to save people."Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004Comment
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Re: Flamethrowers
It's hard to know what Jesus would say. He was a complex character. I might guess what Isaiah would say:
"If ye fall from the path the LORD hath set out for thee, then shall a burning come upon thee; even shall a flamethrower scorch thy vinyards, and the fig bush of thy wife: yea, and thou shalt suffer much from thy wife's burning bush."
Or Solomon:
"My love's hair flieth freely as a banner, her rump is like to the clefted Hill of Garbeliah, and her hand delivereth a stinging spanking. Like a flamethrower is my desire for my love."
Perhaps the Congregation can debate this matter and come to a righteous answer.
~~ OEJComment
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The Holy Flamethrower of Shing Light
Narrowpathy, as a True Christian™, you will recall that Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758) preached at Pelham, August 30, 1744, at the ordination of the Rev. Mr. Robert Abercrombie, to the work of the gospel ministry in that place. If I may take time to quote, I do believe you will find it helpful:-
“Jesus describes John The Baptist thus, Joh:5:35: “He was a burning and a shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light.” That discourse of our blessed Savior (we have an account of in this chapter from the 17th verse to the end) was occasioned by the Jews’ murmuring against Him, and persecuting Him for his healing the impotent man at the pool of Bethesda, and bidding him to take up his bed and walk on the Sabbath day.”
Now it seems to me that Christ Jesus favored burning and shining lights, particularly if used to put Jews in their place.
I say to you brother Narrowpathy, take up your flamethrower and walk, declaring as you do the Gospel of Christ. The unbelievers will be shamed and the righteous will know the Greatness of The Lord and of the Greatest Baptist of them All!
Amen
Bathfire E.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: The Holy Flamethrower of Shing Light
Of course a flamethrower does come in handy when dealing with homers and wiccans. So if thats your method of dealing with them, then let me know. I got a guy who can make them cheap.Comment
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Re: Flamethrowers
These are troubled economic times Brother Nobar and our neighborhood watch committee is considering acquiring a flame thrower. There is the potential for civil unrest and you never know when some of those ACORN community organizers are going to show up trying to cause trouble.
In a pinch they can also be used to start the grill and can come in handy for fall leaf burnings.Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpicComment
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