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  • The Lord's Sword
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Feb 2012
    • 179

    #1

    God hates cruise ships

    It was pretty obvious to anyone that knows the Lord that he killed the passengers on the cruise ship that sank off the coast of Italy, or as I call it, the Land of Pedophilia. At first, I thought this was a sign that God hates cannibals, Mary worshipers and pedophiles, but it's now obvious that he hates ALL cruises.

    Cruises are a known stomping ground for all types of fornicators and homosexuals.
    Disabled cruise ship arrives in Seychelles port








    • Enlarge PhotoMen stand on a boat as the Costa Allegra cruise ship arrives at Mahe port on Seychelles …
    • View GalleryThe Costa Allegra cruise ship is pictured in this handout photo taken by an Indian …




    VICTORIA, Seychelles (AP) — A disabled cruise ship docked in the island nation of the Seychelles Thursday after three days at sea without power. Dozens of officials flocked to the port to help passengers, some of whom applauded as the Costa Allegra neared shore.
    The Seychelles Red Cross set up tents to assist any passengers needing medical help and embassy and consular officials were at the port to receive their citizens. Tour operators lined up dozens of buses to take passengers to either the airport or a Seychelles resort. Disembarkation of the more than 1,000 people onboard was expected to take several hours.
    The Costa Allegra has been at sea with and without electricity since a fire broke out in the generator room on Monday, knocking out plumbing, showers, lights and air conditioning as the huge ship went adrift in tropical heat. The cause of the fire is unknown. A French fishing vessel towed the cruise ship to the Seychelles.
    U.S. Consular Agent Travis Jensen said he was there to help ensure the health and safety of Americans onboard.
    "We haven't been in contact with the ship because they were on battery power," he said. "No emergency evacuations have been reported."
    Travel agents eager to help passengers ashore waited alongside diplomats and dozens of journalists.
    "The focus of the operation is to get them a warm meal and a shower," said Guillaume Albert, head of Creole Travel Service. "I think the happy ending is the people coming off the boat."
    The average age of passengers onboard the ship is 55 years, he said, and the heat and lack of hygiene could be uncomfortable for some of the older travelers. The weather in the Seychelles is hot and humid.
    The fire came only six weeks after the Costa Concordia, owned by the same company, hit a reef and capsized off Italy, killing 25 people and leaving seven missing and presumed dead.
    "I know it was bad luck for these guys but they are doing the best they can," Albert said. "They have a lot of image building to do right now but I've seen a very professional team."
    "It happened in quite an isolated spot so it took quite a while to get back here," said British High Commissioner Matthew Forbes as he waited for the boat to dock.
    A Seychelles official suggested on Wednesday that the journey may also have taken longer because the French fishing vessel towing the cruise ship had refused to give way to two faster tugs sent by the Seychelles. Although assistance to people at sea is free, assistance to ships is often paid.
    On Thursday, Lt. Col. Michael Rosette, the deputy chief of staff of the military, said the tug boats were more appropriate than the fishing vessel but that the decision not to switch towing vessels was up to the cruise line company.
    The Allegra, whose Italian name means "merry," or "happy," left northern Madagascar, off Africa's southeast coast, on Saturday. The liner was carrying 413 crew members and 627 passengers, including 212 Italians, 31 Britons and eight Americans.
    About 375 people are taking advantage of the company's offer of a free 15-day vacation in the Seychelles.
    "The fact we have a carnival on, the weather is great, and the fact they want to continue their holidays is great for them and great for us," said Srdjana Janosevic, spokeswoman for the president of the Seychelles. "It means this potentially tragic situation has a happy ending."
    Tourism in the tiny island nation almost stopped completely in 2009 because of the threat of pirate attacks.
    The Seychelles is a chain of white-sand resort islands that attracts celebrities and royalty. Its population is just 87,000, and it is heavily dependent on fishing and tourism.


    Exodus 21:20-21

    20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22844

    #2
    Re: God hates cruise ships

    Whereas we know that everything that happens in the World is at God’s Command, I feel that merely saying "God Hates <insert sinner>" is insufficient in itself without Biblical Authority. (We don't want Catholics and And Atheists thinking we are idiots, do we?)

    Being on a cruise ship is a metaphor for allowing yourself to be tossed upon the waves of Fate, idly pursuing pleasure and iniquity rather than giving your life to Jesus and following Him on the narrow path that leads to Salvation™ and Heaven.

    In Matthew 14:23 – 34, we see how Jesus deals with cruise ships in difficulties: He walks on the water to them and stills the storm.

    M't:14:23: And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
    M't:14:24: But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
    M't:14:25: And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

    M't:14:26: And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
    M't:14:27: But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
    M't:14:28: And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
    M't:14:29: And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
    M't:14:30: But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
    M't:14:31: And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
    M't:14:32: And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
    M't:14:33: Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
    M't:14:34: And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret.


    Note in the above how all that is required is Faith. No ship will ever come to harm if those on board have faith. In fact, in the whole recorded history of mankind from Creation, there has never, ever been A True Christian™ lost at sea. Only those with insufficient faith drown. This is a fact.
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29445

      #3
      Re: God hates cruise ships

      God gave us Bass boats for a reason:


      There is no fishing on a 'cruise'. God wants us to fish.
      Matthew 4:19

      King James Version (KJV)

      19And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78552

        #4
        Re: God hates cruise ships

        And there are Christian Cruises. I've been a featured speaker on a few.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • The Lord's Sword
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Feb 2012
          • 179

          #5
          Re: God hates cruise ships

          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
          Whereas we know that everything that happens in the World is at God’s Command, I feel that merely saying "God Hates <insert sinner>" is insufficient in itself without Biblical Authority. (We don't want Catholics and And Atheists thinking we are idiots, do we?)

          Being on a cruise ship is a metaphor for allowing yourself to be tossed upon the waves of Fate, idly pursuing pleasure and iniquity rather than giving your life to Jesus and following Him on the narrow path that leads to Salvation™ and Heaven.

          In Matthew 14:23 – 34, we see how Jesus deals with cruise ships in difficulties: He walks on the water to them and stills the storm.

          M't:14:23: And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
          M't:14:24: But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
          M't:14:25: And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

          M't:14:26: And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
          M't:14:27: But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
          M't:14:28: And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
          M't:14:29: And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
          M't:14:30: But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
          M't:14:31: And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
          M't:14:32: And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
          M't:14:33: Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
          M't:14:34: And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret.


          Note in the above how all that is required is Faith. No ship will ever come to harm if those on board have faith. In fact, in the whole recorded history of mankind from Creation, there has never, ever been A True Christian™ lost at sea. Only those with insufficient faith drown. This is a fact.
          Thank you for your very logical argument and I agree wholeheartedly. However, whilst your 'metaphor' is an accurate portrayal, I prefer the literal. Cruises are a gateway to hell.


          atheist eye candy





          Look at this atheist about to have sex with this bird.



          Little atheist girl engaging in bestiality with flipper below the water's surface.
          Exodus 21:20-21

          20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.

          Comment

          • Daisy Mae Johnson
            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15708

            #6
            Re: God hates cruise ships

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            And there are Christian Cruises. I've been a featured speaker on a few.

            I remember the one that docked in Maui for a few days. Remember, you guys almost died that day! When I asked where all your bottoms were you said they got washed away by a rough wave and you saved those fella's lives! PRAISE JESUS!

            You are such a kind and thoughtful man. No wonder you are his Favorite Pastor.

            But, to answer your question Brother Lords Sword. All Worldly cruises (expect Christian ones are sinful and disgusting for HELLbound homers and "sailors". Disgusting!
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            • The Lord's Sword
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Feb 2012
              • 179

              #7
              Re: God hates cruise ships

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              And there are Christian Cruises. I've been a featured speaker on a few.
              Well of course Christian Cruises are an exception. I should have mentioned that!
              Exodus 21:20-21

              20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.

              Comment

              • Roberta
                Anti La Leche League Organizer
                True Christian™
                • Jan 2008
                • 1817

                #8
                Re: God hates cruise ships

                Whatever happened to this hunk?

                http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attac...9&d=1217361909
                Come climb my mountains.

                Comment

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