Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church? - The Landover Baptist Church Forum

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Johny Joe Hold

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#1

Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

04-05-2012, 03:36 AM

I taken it upon myself to look into this matter. It is just not right to be a member of a wonderful church and then, sometimes, not show up on Sunday.

I'm wondering if any of our True Christian™ members could shed some light on this perplexing problem?

JJH, Mayor

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Pastor Ezekiel

Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study

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#2

04-05-2012, 03:49 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Who does what now?!

I want names.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Nobar King

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#3

04-05-2012, 04:25 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

I would never skip church for a football game.

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Levi Jones

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#4

04-05-2012, 05:40 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

Who does what now?!

I want names.

Should we phone them over to you on Sunday morning at your house? Gosh, I can't wait for another closed circuit sermon about the gays again.

How many weeks in a row is that now?

Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Dr Laurence Niles

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#5

04-05-2012, 08:54 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

The more we know about being gay the less chance you have of being gay.

Fact.

YIC
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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Daisy Mae Johnson

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#6

04-05-2012, 03:56 PM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

While we are bringing up uncomfortable conversations ..... maybe we should address a certain Mrs. and her teenaged daughter showing up to church looking like whores with their hems on their skirts at 3-inches above the knee!

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Bobby-Joe

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#7

04-05-2012, 04:06 PM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post

While we are bringing up uncomfortable conversations ..... maybe we should address a certain Mrs. and her teenaged daughter showing up to church looking like whores with their hems on their skirts at 3-inches above the knee!

Little birds who watch Church security cameras say there is a good reason those girl's skirts are always up,...

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Faith_Machine

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#8

04-06-2012, 04:03 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Have you tried finding a decent Baptist church here in the San Francisco area? Let me tell you, it ain't easy. I thought I'd found a good fellowship, but you may recall a certain misunderstanding which made me persona non grata.

Is there some way I can dial into Pastor Zeke's sermons remotely? What about the video feed for all the handicapped people in the parking lot of the main church in Freehold? If I could access that on Sundays, that would be ideal.

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Pastor Ezekiel

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#9

04-06-2012, 04:28 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post

Have you tried finding a decent Baptist church here in the San Francisco area? Let me tell you, it ain't easy. I thought I'd found a good fellowship, but you may recall a certain misunderstanding which made me persona non grata.

Is there some way I can dial into Pastor Zeke's sermons remotely? What about the video feed for all the handicapped people in the parking lot of the main church in Freehold? If I could access that on Sundays, that would be ideal.

You couldn't afford it, friend.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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TheLordSavedMe

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#10

04-06-2012, 05:28 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

San Jose is as Mexicany as San Franciso, and I never miss church, but it's right by my house and the Pastor is like soooooooooooper nice and he always tells me if I ever need to talk to him in private I can and how he thinks I'm a very special girl and how God told him He has a plan for me and us and he rubs my shoulders sometimes and how proud Jesus is of me.

So I never miss church EVER!

Tammi

Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to? Reverend Jim Osborne can help!

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He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4
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Faith_Machine

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#11

04-06-2012, 05:57 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Sister, I hadn't realized you were living so close to me! If you have any recommendations for a good fellowship anywhere between here and San Jose, I'm all ears!

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Rev. M. Rodimer

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#12

04-06-2012, 06:59 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Odd. Nobody from MY church misses MY sermons.

But I guess not everybody can be as engaging a speaker as me, or as on fire for the Lord as I am.

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Nobar King

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#13

04-06-2012, 07:45 AM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

Odd. Nobody from MY church misses MY sermons.

That's what, just you?

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Bobby-Joe

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#14

04-06-2012, 03:37 PM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Please, please this thread isn't about Rodimer faltering congregation.

It's about what a certain security camera caught a certain Mrs Unnamed (for now) doing in a church supplies closet during last Sunday service! Let's just say not everyone who isn't in their pew Sunday isn't necessarily not at church.

I never though I would here the words "Please tell me your black" uttered in Landover Baptist.

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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A Christian voter's guide to rape
A Miracle that Atheist REFUSE to explain!
Why Atheists are WRONG!
Questions Darwinist REFUSE to answer
Are Stars Diamonds? The Young Universe PROVED
Cucumbers prove God EXISTS!
Ten points that CRUSH Atheism

Six scientific Extra-Biblical arguments that PROVE God exists

Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Rev. M. Rodimer

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#15

04-06-2012, 03:39 PM

Re: Why Do Some Landover Baptist Members Skip Church?

Originally posted by Nobar King View Post

That's what, just you?

My congregation may be small, Brother (213), but at least they show up and aren't busy doing unmentionable things in the supply closet during my sermon!

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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