Confused Man

[Professor_of_Trout]

If you say God will hate me for not giving Landover Baptist Church money, why would the Devil do the punishment? Wouldn't God punish me, since the Devil enjoys evil and would, then, applaud my doings? Support your response with examples from the text.

[Thomas Hubbard]

Re: Confused Man

God would punish you by sending you to hell, in which you will be sodomized by Satan.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Confused Man

If you say God will hate me for not giving Landover Baptist Church money, why would the Devil do the punishment? Wouldn't God punish me, since the Devil enjoys evil and would, then, applaud my doings? Support your response with examples from the text.

First of all, you expect me to do this for free? Oh well, since it is April Fools Day (an obviously atheist holiday) I'll give you a little present...

Let me preface this by stating the fact that there are many, many tacks we could take, but I find the following particularly appealing...

From the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 16:

Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

So God made evil people so he can have fun punishing them (now don't start crowing just yet). OK, so what is the bestest most fun way to punish people for God? Give them to Satan! Satan is an evil pervert on Viagra, who has more tricks up his sleeve than Lynndie England. Now don't assume God doesn't have full knowledge and front row seats to whatever Satan dishes out - he surely does!

Now, you also asked why Satan wouldn't punish someone for being good and reward someone for being bad. The reason is simple, Satan can't punish someone for being good because that same book of Proverbs also says that God won't allow his enemies to punish people he likes...

Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

So really, what you have is a situation where Satan takes what he gets, and just due to his own sickness, he enjoys inserting objects (that are usually too large) into the rectums of folks who God doesnt like. And the best way to make God like you is to become a True Christian at God's favorite church, Landover Baptist Church! HELPFUL GLENDORA

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Confused Man

If you say God will hate me for not giving Landover Baptist Church money, why would the Devil do the punishment? Wouldn't God punish me, since the Devil enjoys evil and would, then, applaud my doings? Support your response with examples from the text.

You seem mighty attached to wealth: 1Tm:6:10: For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

As far as Godly punishment is concerned:
Re:21:8: But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

God would punish you by sending you to hell, in which you will be sodomized by Satan.

Basically, yes.

[Professor_of_Trout]

Re: Confused Man

Thanks for the explanation. So the Devil works for God?