[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

So you're a closet homosexual? To hell with you!

How you ever came to the conclusion from my posts that I'm the slightest bit gay myself, I will never know. I have simply explained how I am exposed to hits from gays on a routine basis, but rely on my strong faith to shield myself from their attempts to deeply penetrate my prostrate area. Do you, my friend, have the faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ, to say no to the gays?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

That's a perfect match for Kenny except for the hairy chest. Kenny is into bodybuilding competition and is smooth shaven and waxed in the chest and shoulder area. Shortly after I met Kenny, I assisted him in a prep for a body building show by oiling him down with baby oil. It was during the fifteen or twenty minutes of applying oil to him that I realised that he was sending out strong gay vibes in my direction.

Oh, good. The Kenny I know is a firefighter. I've given him a few massages after he's had a hard day battling blazes and rescuing cats from trees; you'd be surprised how tight some of those muscles can get!

I've sometimes wondered when he offers to "do me in return" if he's just being polite, or trying to do something else . . . Since it's a different Kenny, I guess I can let him next time.

What a relief!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Brother, on your camping trips with your Kenny, has he or you ever had an encounter with an incubus or succubus? I understand the homo energy attracts these rapist demons.

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Oh, good. The Kenny I know is a firefighter. I've given him a few massages after he's had a hard day battling blazes and rescuing cats from trees; you'd be surprised how tight some of those muscles can get!

I've sometimes wondered when he offers to "do me in return" if he's just being polite, or trying to do something else . . . Since it's a different Kenny, I guess I can let him next time.

What a relief!

Rev. Rodimer, just to be on the safe side, here's what I did. You see, Kenny asked me if I'd like to spend a weekend in the great outdoors with him and several of his friends. So, to be safe, I asked him if he was a republican and he quickly answered 'yes', and then in the same sentence, told me something about his 'log cabin'. You don't see any problems here do you?

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Brother, on your camping trips with your Kenny, has he or you ever had an encounter with an incubus or succubus? I understand the homo energy attracts these rapist demons.

Funny that you should bring up the incubus/succubus issue here. Here's a link to an experience that I had shortly before I was saved.
Jesus Christ has power over all principalities!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Rev. Rodimer, just to be on the safe side, here's what I did. You see, Kenny asked me if I'd like to spend a weekend in the great outdoors with him and several of his friends. So, to be safe, I asked him if he was a republican and he quickly answered 'yes', and then in the same sentence, told me something about his 'log cabin'. You don't see any problems here do you?

Not at all. A log cabin is much more comfortable than staying in tents, especially with fall approaching. I hope his cabin has a wood stove or other heat source. Maybe it even has a sauna! Did he promise you a "hot time"?

Saunas are very relaxing.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

I had a gay friend once without knowing it. He was a good friend of mine for at least 15 years. But one day i found out that he was infact gay when i searched through that suitcase he always carried with him, it contained dvd's and pictures with gay porn. I was sickened and disgusted by it. The day after i told him that i booked a ticket for me and him to San Francisco, California, he became very happy. But what he didn't know was that the plane was not going to California. It was going to Iran. When we arrived at Tehran International Airport i whispered to the Iranian customs officers that the suitcase my friend was carrying with him contains gay porn. They opened it up, shouted something in Arabic, arrested him and took him away. I took the next plane home, and God what i laughed on the way home. He never returned from Iran.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Yea-thou,

One of the things I'm worried about, here, is that someone might accuse you of being the homer, and not your friend.

You need to point out to any such accuser that you, as a Christian, are attuned more than most people to sin. You can feel when you are close to it, while atheists have no idea.

That is why you are able to pick up the desires of your homer friend.

Just be aware there are those who might be trying to pin a sinful label on you.

I felt I needed to quote myself because of the terrible accusation that has shown up here on the board. Yea-thou is a Christian who is gifted with being able to catch the sexual urges emitted by gay people. Atheists would not have a clue.

Yea, good for you and the effort you are making to prepare for the inevitable time when your friend propositions you. I know you will bring him to the Lord, straight as an arrow.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Rev. Rodimer, just to be on the safe side, here's what I did. You see, Kenny asked me if I'd like to spend a weekend in the great outdoors with him and several of his friends. So, to be safe, I asked him if he was a republican and he quickly answered 'yes', and then in the same sentence, told me something about his 'log cabin'. You don't see any problems here do you?

I might also point out your relative safety in numbers. Surely, he'd not try to sodomize you with a bunch of his friends there watching!

[Nobar King]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

I hate to break it to you, but if that man's a fag then he's really not your friend at all. He can't be, because the sex part always gets in the way. You may think that you have a good friend who will help you move or loan you his truck, but really he's just grooming your for the right time to penetrate you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

I hate to break it to you, but if that man's a fag then he's really not your friend at all. He can't be, because the sex part always gets in the way. You may think that you have a good friend who will help you move or loan you his truck, but really he's just grooming your for the right time to penetrate you.

Amen to that. Anal sex is the only thing the fag thinks about. It may pretend to be your friend, but that's only to groom you. They're all alike.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Pastor, that has to be the most accurate portrayal of homosexuals i have ever seen, actually i have decided to show this on the big screen in my church. Praise Jesus!

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

Great video! It makes me feel sad for the entire cast of "Leave it to Beaver" though for some odd reason.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

I really appreciate the fact that that video never actually says what it was that the homosexuals did to the young boys. Unspeakable horrors are so much more horrifying when they're left to the viewer's imagination.

[Gay4Lucifer]

Re: How do I deal with a gay friend?

That video is slightly outdated. You see, that video was made at a time when young boys were still ridiculously gullible. They're STILL ridiculously gullible, but not so much that they will get into a car with us. And people are so damn lazy these days that they usually just skip the grooming and go straight to the anal sex.

We still do all that crap in the video sometimes, but now we mostly just prey on our relatives' kids.

So I think that, if this man is so strongly sending out homosexual vibes and subtly trying to seduce you, he must really determined to assault you. And if he is really determined...you may have to put him out of your misery, before it is too late.

Camping can be dangerous. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities for a tragic "accident" to occur.