[4GodNOThypocrites]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

Let me tell y'all a little story I told the kids last week at church.

Once upon time there was a sinner named Joe. He had spent his life drinking, doing drugs, and fornicating with women. He spent his benefit money on beer and whisky, and begged for more on the street. He was the bum of the neighborhood.

One night, in his usual street corner, an old lady walked by and tossed him a New Testament along with a quarter. Lonely and fed up, he opened the book and began to read. Each day, he read a little more, and then he started to pray. Eventually, he stopped drinking and found a job. Then he went to find a church.

He went along to a beautiful church that Sunday. It was a huge building, with superb stained glass windows and immaculately manicured lawns. He had no Sunday suit, and his were ragged and still smelt of stale beer. His hair was long and unwashed. But he wanted to go to church and find a community where he could learn more about God.

Joe got some strange looks when he arrived at the front porch of his local church. Everyone stopped and stared as he entered the sanctuary, looking for a pew. Then an elder approached him and said 'Friend, we're expecting a very large congregation today. Why don't you try St. Eugene's three blocks along - they'd love to see you'.

Feeling dejected and alone, Joe left, realizing he wasn't wanted at that church. 'What will I do Lord?', asked Joe. 'They won't let me in'. 'Ah,' said Jesus, 'I'm not suprised'. 'They won't let me in either'.

this is a great story.

[Bob4God]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

Are you suggesting JESUS is a stinky hippie with long unwashed hair and dirty rags for clothes? I certainly hope not.

You may be a cop and understand the laws of man, but I think GOD's laws are slightly more important than that...

[Jacques Anape]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

I think he was probably what some might regard as a 'hippie' in some senses, yes. He was radical for his time, and preached a message that was deeply unpopular with those in authority.

As for his hair, I don't believe they had sharp scissors or shampoo in those days!

Are you suggesting JESUS is a stinky hippie with long unwashed hair and dirty rags for clothes? I certainly hope not.

You may be a cop and understand the laws of man, but I think GOD's laws are slightly more important than that...

[4GodNOThypocrites]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

Are you suggesting JESUS is a stinky hippie with long unwashed hair and dirty rags for clothes? I certainly hope not.

You may be a cop and understand the laws of man, but I think GOD's laws are slightly more important than that...

i emailed you.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

Let me tell y'all a little story I told the kids last week at church.

I feel a homemade, poor quality, parable divorced from the real world and fulsome in its pity coming on. It was told to children because no-one else would be idiot enough to swallow it.

Once upon time there was a sinner named Joe.

The prophecy is fulfilled!

He had spent his life drinking, doing drugs, and fornicating with women. He spent his benefit money on beer and whisky, and begged for more on the street. He was the bum of the neighborhood.

I’m imagining a defrocked papist priest… carry on…

One night, in his usual street corner, an old lady walked by

what’s an old lady doing in a neighbourhood like that, I doubt she’s a True Christian™

and tossed him a New Testament along with a quarter.

The KJV 1611 is both Testaments, that old lady is the spawn of the devil! Nothing good will come of the bum.

Lonely and fed up, he opened the book and began to read.

Clearly the devil knows how to attract the lost and desperate. Satan has supplied him with less than half of the story.

Each day, he read a little more, and then he started to pray. Eventually, he stopped drinking and found a job.

I bet it involved young boys

Then he went to find a church.

If it wasn’t LBC, I’m stopping reading now.

He went along to a beautiful church that Sunday[…] Joe got some strange looks when he arrived at the front porch of his local church. […] Then an elder approached him and said 'Friend, we're expecting a very large congregation today. Why don't you try St. Eugene's three blocks along - they'd love to see you'.

St Eugene*? Are you sure? That man was trouble and is no saint!

Feeling dejected and alone, Joe left, realizing he wasn't wanted at that church. 'What will I do Lord?', asked Joe. 'They won't let me in'. 'Ah,' said Jesus, 'I'm not suprised'. 'They won't let me in either'.

Oh, a middle class Catlick neighbourhood eh? Typical. Unfortunately, the bum would not be admitted to Landover for entirely different reasons: At Landover, the real Jesus-loving experience is just overwhelming. The church is packed to the rafters. And why? Because it is God’s Favorite Church™.

Friend, if you just mean to say that Landover doesn’t welcome the poor, just come out and say it. It is of course wrong, there are many menial tasks done by our colored brethren and they are hardly paid a living wage. Nevertheless, it is sufficient for them at the standard they live and lawns don’t mow themselves and dinner doesn’t get cooked and served without them and who else is there to clean about the place?

*This is what the anti-christ says of so-called “saint” Eugene:

Eugene I was a Roman priest who had held various positions in the Church […]. He was consecrated Pope on August 10, 654, while his predecessor, Pope St. Martin I, was still alive (he died on September 6), an exile and prisoner in the Crimea by order of Monothelite Emperor Constans II. Martin is reported to have approved the election, but many believed Eugene was a puppet of Constans. Eugene soon asserted his independence by refusing the Emperor's demands that he acknowledge Peter as Patriarch of Constantinople and allow toleration of the Monothelites. Constans was furious, and only the capture of Rhodes by the Moslems in 654 and their defeat of Constans at the naval battle of Phoenix in 655 saved Eugene from sharing the fate of his predecessor. Eugene died in Rome on June 2.

So we see he muscled in on the then reigning pope, was the anti-christ of his time, a common criminal, a puppet of the Emperor, a supporter of the heresy (according to the catlix) of the Monothelites and had his skin saved by Moslems. Now if you want more proof of the Catlix making saints out of supporters of Satan, write to me care of LBC.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: "Unsaved unwelcome"

I will gladly wipe the dust from my feet when the Lord leads me to leave. Right now my purpose here is twofold:


(2) For the sake of visitors to this site, to make them aware the LBC is not representative of true Christianity.

Do tell, what IS True Christianity(tm)?

Please use Scripture, not your own imagination, to back up your assertions.

Thanks!