[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Which reminds me, I've taken the liberty of ordering a couple of new suits, for special occasions.

You can't expect me to Preach in rags.

[WWJDnow]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

When you add up his books, pamphlets, sermons, pastoral advice, and web ministry through our forums, even at an all-in compensation package of $15 million or so per year, Pastor Ezekiel is only earning around $0.07 per word.

Anyway, how can one put a price on a first class salvation? To paraphrase Jesus when He was attacked for being rubbed in expensive oil instead of giving the value to the poor, the poor will always be with us, but Pastor Zeke will not be with us always. I'd hate for us to lose him to the 700 Club or Joel Osteen's church just because God has blessed Pastor Zeke with a modest income. Landover just wouldn't be Landover without him.

Besides, he knows too much. About Jesus.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I think people need to calm down somewhat here and think about what is important here.

That's right: getting the message of Jesus out to the world in it's literal form. To do this one as to have confidence in the speaker.

Of course, this is what it's all about.

We within Landover have to show that our little church in Freehold is the best church IN THE WORLD....and that means First Class all the way. We are the best - - why not show it?

But I think I can shed some light on why the church accountings are difficult to understand for outsiders. It's because all of us within the church offices pitch in and do the books, as time allows. And there's so many different accounts, with all of us having access cards to most of them...that until till we all meet up at the biennial business meeting, the Good Lord™ Himself only knows what's being put in or being taken out at any given time.

We're a victim of our own success!

(Also, Brother Free Market Fred was acting as the church's "investment officer liason" for a time, which created a lot of overseas accounts we're still finding out about. PRAISE!)

Sometimes when it's my turn with the bank files and dusty boxes of chits and IOUs, they're just so confusing I'll just throw them in a drawer or a closet. But they always come spilling out from somewhere, in the end...that's the miracle!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

A FOCUS??? Those are made by UNION MEMBERS!!!


Say the word Zeke and I can be on the next flight to California with a roll of piano wire for this hippy freak and his commie eco mobile. This civi will never know what will hit him.

Friend, I'm sure you didn't mean for that to sound like a death threat. Perhaps you should ask a moderator to edit your post so people don't get the wrong idea.

[Jimmy-Roy Stewart]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Pastor Ezekal is a holy man of God i am proud to tithe to support what ever he needs he told me hed' pray for me to get a second job so i could tithe more thats' how much he loves the people in his church and on top of that i know how much a nice car matters cause i use to be his shoffer (sp?) before that little miss understanding i took real good care of him and important visitors in that eslcade.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Friend, I'm sure you didn't mean for that to sound like a death threat. Perhaps you should ask a moderator to edit your post so people don't get the wrong idea.

Oh that was no death threat Faith,..

you union loving roster lover

[Nobar King]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I hope none of you Judases have a problem with the pastor's parking privileges, either.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I hope our kind and generous congregation takes into mind that when we do finally marry, Pastor Zeke said I will need my own entire wing on his house. He said he doesn't want me meddling in his business. I'm sure that means his prayer sessions with impressionable young men, etc. - or even that damn mean old she bear in his basement.

Please say a prayer for us! And, please try to think about being a tad more generous!

BLESSINGS!

Sister Thumper

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Oh, poor, dear Sister Daisy:

Sometimes I think the chandelier is missing a few bulbs, hon. Bless your heart.

While I am sure that one day - perhaps when you're 90 or so - Ol' Zeke will come to call with a ring in his hand, I wouldn't be ordering the flowers just yet.

You know there are just tons of eligible titanium tithers in the congregation, sweetheart. Why not wake up and smell the Folgers?

Praying,
NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Bobby Joe,

I'm concerned about Sister Slingfish. Her car is still in the lot from Wednesday's prayer meeting. I recall a group of us were gathered discussing Ezekiel's package when Sister Slingfish said something about how she thought a Toyota Tercel would be good enough for a man of God. Sister Cookie shrieked, I turned around and Sister Slingfish was no where to be found. Maybe someone offered her a ride home? I know she was having trouble with her transmission.

Maybe I'll run down to her house a bit later.

Thanks Bobby!

NRL

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Bobby Joe,

I'm concerned about Sister Slingfish. Her car is still in the lot from Wednesday's prayer meeting. I recall a group of us were gathered discussing Ezekiel's package when Sister Slingfish said something about how she thought a Toyota Tercel would be good enough for a man of God. Sister Cookie shrieked, I turned around and Sister Slingfish was no where to be found. Maybe someone offered her a ride home? I know she was having trouble with her transmission.

Maybe I'll run down to her house a bit later.

Thanks Bobby!

NRL

Sister Naomi,

We have our top people looking on but, but going by past experience with people like Sister Slingfish may have killed herself. I have seen it dozens of times were they end up so overcome with remorse they will start drinking and end up wandering naked and drunk out on I-5 only to get hit by a semi going 70.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Bobby-Joe, while you're here, there's a forum member in Finland with a possible security issue re some gold bar with a bird on it. We may be able to lend a hand, right? He seems keen to accept our help.

(Probably wouldn't do Pastor Zeke's cash-flow any problems, either.)

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

There seem to be a number of concerns, broadly security related as might be expected in an entitlement culture such as would be promoted in the USSA, and I have always found my contact with members of the congregation in the East to be satisfactory in that respect.

They have these quaint laws, at least in some places, where one must sound the horn before moving and although cacophonous does provide for road safety. With universal health care however, since there is no impediment to visiting a hospital for the merest trifle and demanding a private room, why not drive like a maniac? This is not a million miles from what Jojo Stalin tried to do..

But I am raving. My suggestion was to see if there's an alternative source for appropriate transport. I've always been happy with English vehicles and know there are some very favourable deals available in Shanghai just now, so I've sent a note and (maybe) there'll be some light in this dark moment for us all

II Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: KJV

[Wide-Open]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I don't get it. It almost sounds like "Guys, Jesus is too expensive for us, let's settle for Manuel, the organic gardener, instead."

You should be ashamed of yourselves (you know who you are!).

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

As a Republican, I believe in fiscal responsibility. How can we advocate for an end to deficit spending in government if we're not able to set a good example in our own church?