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  • Dutch Girl
    Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
    • Nov 2010
    • 283

    #1

    Why Americans are fat!





    Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

    - Ecclesiastes xii.7
  • nord-olof
    Unsaved trash, blubber-eating eskimo
    • Jan 2011
    • 11

    #2
    Re: Why Americans are fat!

    Funny, but it does best to remain that way. No government can tell the people what to eat or drink.

    If you get fat because of your own stupidity you have yourself to blame.
    This space is reserved for the posting of KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

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    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22912

      #3
      Re: Why Americans are fat!

      I put it down to the fact that all foreigners have tapeworms.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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      • Brother V
        True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 3481

        #4
        Re: Why Americans are fat!

        At least in America, there's just guidelines put out by the government about what we should eat. As opposed to communism, where the government provided the food; or in third world countries where the government provides rice... and that's it.

        That's not why we're fat.

        This is why we're fat. (website appears to be down)

        YIC
        V
        Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

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        • Metafool
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Feb 2011
          • 24

          #5
          Re: Why Americans are fat!

          Obviously the heathen foreigners and, phornicators are using their dark influence and dark, pagan rituals to make honest Americans like you and I torpid and wide. They then decide to add insult to injury by offering us salads. No, I say. I kill animals and I eat of them! I will eat their flesh! No left-wing pagan rituals will deter me from my insatiable urge for flesh!!

          ...

          and Bacon. Good, honest, God-fearing bacon.

          Comment

          • Pastor Isaac Peters
            Senior Pastor
            Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
            Always Biblically correct
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 10639

            #6
            Re: Why Americans are fat!

            Americans are fat because of the influence of atheism. Even Conservapedia, despite its liberal, anti-Bible bias, recognizes the connection between atheism and obesity.
            This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

            Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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            • Daisy Mae Johnson
              The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
              Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
              aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15708

              #7
              Re: Why Americans are fat!

              Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
              Americans are fat because of the influence of atheism. Even Conservapedia, despite its liberal, anti-Bible bias, recognizes the connection between atheism and obesity.
              AMEN Brother and Atheists have no self control. This is why they cannot love GOD or HIS word much less follow the 10 Commandments.

              • Proverbs 23:20-21 "Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags."
              • Proverbs 23:2 "And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite."
              Atheists also make poor pet owners because their bad behavior and eating habits are carried over in to the care of their animals.

              (Atheists should not be allowed to own pets)

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