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-I loved your devotion to marriage between a male and a female.
-I loved your hatred of abortion.
-I loved your hatred of queers.
-I loved your pledge to keep my taxes low.
-I loved your hatred of Obamacare.
-I loved your devotion to a strong military devoted to killing those that don’t believe in the same things as us, and that you wouldn’t raise my taxes to pay for their mission.
-and,
-I forgave your confusion between John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy.
-I forgave your sucking the public tit for farm subsidies and accepting federal funds for your husband’s “Pray the Gay Away” programs.
-I forgave your acceptance of foster care funds to care for that fresh meat funneled into your household.
-I forgave your confusion about the status of the Soviet Union.
But, dear Michele, I have found a new hero. His name is Rick Perry. He stands with you for all those things you hate, but he is a male Texan and we all know what stand-up guys they are.
-He has signed all the pledges you signed, showing he is on the right side of everything you believe in.
-He has treated poor people in his state the way they should be treated – as scum for their lack of belief and effort to attain the American Way of Life.
-He talks a bit funny just like another of my heroes, George W. Bush.
-He carries a gun while jogging.
So, Michele, I have transferred my loyalty to Rick. He is the salvation of our nation. And besides, he isn’t a fuzzy-bunny Minnesotan like you, Walter Mondale, Hubert Humphrey, and Harold Stassen.
But there is a bright-side, Michele:
If Rick doesn’t cut the mustard in New Hampshire, I will go to the barricades for you against that magic underwear-wearing liberal neo-commie, Mitt Romansky, unless Harold Stassen (he might be dead) steps forward to save the nation.
-I loved your hatred of abortion.
-I loved your hatred of queers.
-I loved your pledge to keep my taxes low.
-I loved your hatred of Obamacare.
-I loved your devotion to a strong military devoted to killing those that don’t believe in the same things as us, and that you wouldn’t raise my taxes to pay for their mission.
-and,
-I forgave your confusion between John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy.
-I forgave your sucking the public tit for farm subsidies and accepting federal funds for your husband’s “Pray the Gay Away” programs.
-I forgave your acceptance of foster care funds to care for that fresh meat funneled into your household.
-I forgave your confusion about the status of the Soviet Union.
But, dear Michele, I have found a new hero. His name is Rick Perry. He stands with you for all those things you hate, but he is a male Texan and we all know what stand-up guys they are.
-He has signed all the pledges you signed, showing he is on the right side of everything you believe in.
-He has treated poor people in his state the way they should be treated – as scum for their lack of belief and effort to attain the American Way of Life.
-He talks a bit funny just like another of my heroes, George W. Bush.
-He carries a gun while jogging.
So, Michele, I have transferred my loyalty to Rick. He is the salvation of our nation. And besides, he isn’t a fuzzy-bunny Minnesotan like you, Walter Mondale, Hubert Humphrey, and Harold Stassen.
But there is a bright-side, Michele:
If Rick doesn’t cut the mustard in New Hampshire, I will go to the barricades for you against that magic underwear-wearing liberal neo-commie, Mitt Romansky, unless Harold Stassen (he might be dead) steps forward to save the nation.
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