My election night Horror

[Harold Law]

Greetings fellow soldiers in Christ Jesus

This past election night I was sitting comfortably with my wonderful family. My wonderful wife Bertha graciously prepared buttermilk in the kitchen while me and my son Jonah, who just completed his first semester at Jerry Falwells University of Advanced Bible Research and Creation Science "Glory" discussed the merits of "De-contaminating" the white house. We were watching Americas channel, God's channel... Fox News. My daughter Peggy Sue wasn't able to attend, satan saw fit to give her one of her 'Bleeding Spells' so Ann-Margaret "Godly Christian Wife" IMMEDIATELY threw her into the menstrual shack, conveniently placed next to the family tobacco field. Little did she know she may have just missed the most awful day in her pitiful little life!

Now friends, I was absolutely CERTAIN of Romneys victory! Sure, he's a magical underwear wearing blasphemer who visited France on several occasions YUCK and was far too supportive of the poor. But lets be honest folks, anything is better than a Mooselimb, Kenyan-Indonesian-Fillipino, Communist, Nazi, Homersexural, Russian Spy. We held hands and looked at one another with keen anticipation. Romney was certain to win by at least 360 electoral votes.

...... Imagine my surprise when, suddenly...we saw the awful crowds of Coloreds, illegal immigrants and Communists waving their blue "Acorn Approved" flags cheering the impossible victory of the Antichrist himself!?! You should have heard my wifes terrifying scream, the neighbors swore up and down that a sow was being slaughtered. My son was so depressed that he even neglected to read his nightly scripture "KJV ONLY".

My family is falling apart Christians. I feel its only a matter of time before my daughter is forced to be a brood mare by the government for some sideways hat wearing jigaboo to make babies for Obamas secret UN Citizen Army! My knees are chapped and bloody from constant prayer since election night. This is the first time ive been on the computer since. I sent my wife out to get some firewood, Jonah is keeping her covered from the barn with his .45 in case some violent liberals, drunk on satans election night victory try and rape my poor wife.

But what I really want to know friends...

IS IT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE?

God help us, Pastor Harold Law United Baptist Fellowship of Dixie, Alabama

[Little Donkey]

Re: My election night Horror

Mr Law, it's painful to read what Obama is doing to your family. Living here in CA you can't believe the noise from all the negros a-whoopin' and a-hollerin'. Needless to say they don't have jobs so they sleep until noon. So it is quite safe to walk outside in the mornings. I have found it prudent to add a few more Christian and anti-homer bumper stickers on momas F150 so when she drives into town they can see us real Americans are not in retreat. We're just re-loading for 2016, when we must surely run a real Christian conservative.

[Creationist Ron]

Re: My election night Horror

Greetings fellow soldiers in Christ Jesus

This past election night I was sitting comfortably with my wonderful family. My wonderful wife Bertha graciously prepared buttermilk in the kitchen while me and my son Jonah, who just completed his first semester at Jerry Falwells University of Advanced Bible Research and Creation Science "Glory" discussed the merits of "De-contaminating" the white house. We were watching Americas channel, God's channel... Fox News. My daughter Peggy Sue wasn't able to attend, satan saw fit to give her one of her 'Bleeding Spells' so Ann-Margaret "Godly Christian Wife" IMMEDIATELY threw her into the menstrual shack, conveniently placed next to the family tobacco field. Little did she know she may have just missed the most awful day in her pitiful little life!

Now friends, I was absolutely CERTAIN of Romneys victory! Sure, he's a magical underwear wearing blasphemer who visited France on several occasions YUCK and was far too supportive of the poor. But lets be honest folks, anything is better than a Mooselimb, Kenyan-Indonesian-Fillipino, Communist, Nazi, Homersexural, Russian Spy. We held hands and looked at one another with keen anticipation. Romney was certain to win by at least 360 electoral votes.

...... Imagine my surprise when, suddenly...we saw the awful crowds of Coloreds, illegal immigrants and Communists waving their blue "Acorn Approved" flags cheering the impossible victory of the Antichrist himself!?! You should have heard my wifes terrifying scream, the neighbors swore up and down that a sow was being slaughtered. My son was so depressed that he even neglected to read his nightly scripture "KJV ONLY".

My family is falling apart Christians. I feel its only a matter of time before my daughter is forced to be a brood mare by the government for some sideways hat wearing jigaboo to make babies for Obamas secret UN Citizen Army! My knees are chapped and bloody from constant prayer since election night. This is the first time ive been on the computer since. I sent my wife out to get some firewood, Jonah is keeping her covered from the barn with his .45 in case some violent liberals, drunk on satans election night victory try and rape my poor wife.

But what I really want to know friends...

IS IT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE?

God help us, Pastor Harold Law United Baptist Fellowship of Dixie, Alabama

This was very hard to read. It pains me deeply to know how much Obama is ruining good Chrisitians lives. I will keep you in my prayers,and pray Obama is taken out of the white house in cuffs. I was actually shouting 4 more years though. 4 more years to clean his nigra stink out of the white house 4 years to repeal all of his communist bills, and 4 more years to forget that we let a nigra into office. I hope Obama is impeached.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My election night Horror

I wish I had a nickel for every election night horror story I've heard recently. People are in pain. People are beside themselves. That's what they get for voting for a damned Mormoon!

If you'd have done as I ordered and voted for JESUS, none of this would be happening!

[Creationist Ron]

Re: My election night Horror

I wish I had a nickel for every election night horror story I've heard recently. People are in pain. People are beside themselves. That's what they get for voting for a damned Mormoon!

If you'd have done as I ordered and voted for JESUS, none of this would be happening!

I would vote for Jesus pastor. Obama will ruin this nation,and of you got a nickel for every election night horror story you would have a billion dollars.

[Harold Law]

Re: My election night Horror

I wish I had a nickel for every election night horror story I've heard recently. People are in pain. People are beside themselves. That's what they get for voting for a damned Mormoon!

If you'd have done as I ordered and voted for JESUS, none of this would be happening!

Trust me Pastor I was more than willing to cast my vote for Jesus. But unfortunately this colored fella' " I think he was a black panther" was standing precariously close to the entrance of the polling location. He never did say anything.. but his eyes clearly stated "Dont vote for Jesus whitey, or it's Nat Turner justice for you!".

Irregardless I have been flagellating myself with the family television cable. I hope that doesn't make me seem like some Mary Worshipper, but at this point I dont even know what to do! Help me Pastor Ezekiel!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: My election night Horror

Face it people: The Children of Ham are ruling this nation - it is they who defeated (temporarily) We the American People.

Why did this happen? Well, we know that God's People deserted Him and fell into iniquitous practises and for this they were taken into captivity and punished. This election is the symbolic punishment (that to me seems all too real) for the liberal way in which America has conducted itself.

A return to God is the only answer - how long will it take forthe message to get across?

[Bob4God]

Re: My election night Horror

I blame Lincoln.

None of could've happened if he hadn't forced Big Government onto the GODly property owners of the south.

Do you think an illiterate negro with fingers bloodied from picking cotton all day could find and mark the "Obama" slot on a voting ballot?

Exactly.