[Damned Angelique]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So who won the "witch" hunt this year? Does anyone really even bother counting anymore, or does the award just automatically go to Pastor Zeke every year, just to save time?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So who won the "witch" hunt this year?

To Pastor Ezekiel, he killed one which more than I did. You can clearly see Jesus is on his side.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Of course Pastor Zeke won.

[Roland]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So who won the "witch" hunt this year? Does anyone really even bother counting anymore, or does the award just automatically go to Pastor Zeke every year, just to save time?

Everyone knows Des won by using his superior knowledge of fire arms, witches and tactical skills. Des is just being modest about it.

[Roland]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

To Pastor Ezekiel, he killed one which more than I did. You can clearly see Jesus is on his side.

So how did you establish that? Was a BBQ involved in the counting?

Kind regards, Roland

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Of course Pastor Zeke won.

Of course. Praise Jesus.

[DeweyClutter]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I managed to back a few.

Ill see about getitng them stuffed and mounted.

Maybe somewhere in the basement of Preacher Phillip's Church?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Congratulations, Pastor Zeke, on yet another impressive win. We know you're getting short of places to store your trophies, so my husband picked up rather an attractive cabinet at Sotheby's the other week - marble, tortoiseshell and ormolu - and it's on its way.

YiC
Joanna

[DeweyClutter]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Ok, Friends, I've gotten myself into a mighty pickle.

While I made sure Elizabeth and the boys were safe indoors on halloween, I decided I would try and bag myself a witch.

I took my trusty shotgun and walked quietly over to Hickory Hollow, a corner of the backwoods famous for witches.

I saw one really fat,ugly looking one about to do some hideous ritual.

Maybe its just my darned soft heart, but I didn't have it in me to kill her.

Instead I creeped up behind her, knocked her out cold, and dragged her back to my house.

I am keeping her there still. I have her locked up in a closet and go down three times a day to feed her and preach the gospel to her.

She is pretty uppity,though I can't imagine why.

While the boys think Im "awesome" for trying so hard for the Lord, I can tell Elizabeth is not pleased.

Is this a wise endeavor? Should I continue to try and save my captive Witch or should I just kill her?

Josiah has also been pestering me to see if I cant let charge his friends a quarter tohave a look at the witch his daddy caught, Should I let him?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Is this a wise endeavor? Should I continue to try and save my captive Witch or should I just kill her?

Killing witches is against the law in Arkansas and God commands us to obey secular laws (1st Peter 2:13-17, Romans 13:1-7). So you can only kill witches in regions where it isn't against the law.

[DeweyClutter]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

But is it right what Im doing?

Keeping the witch locked up in the cellar, away from her wand, spellbooks and potions?

I witness to her every day, and feed her Godly Christian food, instead of the garbage she had been consuming (she is quite the fatty?)

Maybe I should ask Pastor Phillip to see if he can take care of her?

I want to save her, but I feel I don't have the experinece to do so.

Also, Elizabeth doesn't like her presence here. Every time I tell her, I am going to 'Witness to" or "Feed" the witch, she looks cold, purses her lips, and frowns, before saying "do what you think is best."

I just feel torn...

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Killing witches is against the law in Arkansas and God commands us to obey secular laws (1st Peter 2:13-17, Romans 13:1-7). So you can only kill witches in regions where it isn't against the law.

Arkansas is in close proximity to Mississippi. I believe that witch killing is legal there. Load up the witch and take her to Mississippi at your earliest convenience.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Congratulations, Pastor Zeke, on yet another impressive win. We know you're getting short of places to store your trophies, so my husband picked up rather an attractive cabinet at Sotheby's the other week - marble, tortoiseshell and ormolu - and it's on its way.

YiC
Joanna

Bless his heart. Tell him to send your youngest boy over (Wilson I think his name is? About 9 years old?) around 11pm on Friday night and allow me to deposit my thanks in him, to carry home to his daddy.

[1liesalot]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Paster Ezekiel, what I am about to say has nothing to do with this thread, except in defence of witch hunts. Here goes, then:

It has come to my attention that certain school authorities are threatening to cut off funding to any educational institutions who do not promote transsexualism and cross dressing. Some schools have even been told they must insist upon it and have integrated all their rest rooms into a gender mixing jamboree and free for all. Some students are being instructed to accept hormone pills and girls are routinely injected with testosterone. The boys, meanwile, are being force fed estrogon in their canteen meals and not being told about it. Some have grown breasts and know not why. I am at my wit's end. The Lord will send hurricaines and even more cancer cells.

What can the church do to fight these deviants and their Christ Jesus hating abominations? This is what happens when the witch hunting of these transgender demons is allowed to rebate and fall into disuse. A revival must come. We must burn Obama at the stake of his debauchries.

Glory.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Paster Ezekiel, what I am about to say has nothing to do with this thread, except in defence of witch hunts. Here goes, then:

It has come to my attention that certain school authorities are threatening to cut off funding to any educational institutions who do not promote transsexualism and cross dressing. Some schools have even been told they must insist upon it and have integrated all their rest rooms into a gender mixing jamboree and free for all. Some students are being instructed to accept hormone pills and girls are routinely injected with testosterone. The boys, meanwile, are being force fed estrogon in their canteen meals and not being told about it. Some have grown breasts and know not why. I am at my wit's end. The Lord will send hurricaines and even more cancer cells.

What can the church do to fight these deviants and their Christ Jesus hating abominations? This is what happens when the witch hunting of these transgender demons is allowed to rebate and fall into disuse. A revival must come. We must burn Obama at the stake of his debauchries.

Glory.

I can answer your question in just one word: Tithe.

Unless Jesus and His favorite Church receive sufficient funds to do our education and world outreach programs, the entire planet is doomed. Send in whatever you can! Consider selling your possessions because those trinkets won't do you any good down in hellfire.