[Basilissa]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Sister Basilissa, I was wondering if Forum Members are allowed to participate -- I was allowed to participate in the Annual Stoning, and I was wondering if I could practice my skills with a gun on some unsaved witches -- my darling husband says I need the practice and what better way than with the unsaved.

My dear, given that the event will be held on on the Freehold grounds, all witch hunters will be True Christians(tm) who know each other well. Any non-True Christians could be mistaken for witches. You wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of the hunting, if you catch my drift.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

My dear, given that the event will be held on on the Freehold grounds, all witch hunters will be True Christians™ who know each other well. Any non-True Christians could be mistaken for witches. You wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of the hunting, if you catch my drift.

Thank you, dear sister, for ensuring my safety! I guess I'll just have to head down to the border to practice my target skills! Either way, fewer witches will abound our godly nation.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I must say that after reading all the women's stuff in this thread I am quite certain that my my catch of almost 4 is doin' mighty fine and for once I really anticipate a victory!



Jeremiah 16:16
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Des]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I must say that after reading all the women's stuff in this thread I am quite certain that my my catch of almost 4 is doin' mighty fine and for once I really anticipate a victory!



Jeremiah 16:16
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Wait, we've started already?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I believe that the rules disqualify any witches taken before the start of the hunt, on October 31.

My own hunting group has come under considerable hostility due to our plan to use artillery. Some accuse us of wanton destruction for sport and even cheating. That will never do.

We have now decided to conduct our hunt using only old timey weaponage. Most of us plan to use bow and arrow, though spears, cudgels and other clubs, tomahawks, knives, axes, chains, metal bars, dirks, swords, hurling stones, cross bows, daggers, pikes, nigger shooters, blow pipes, pitch forks and torches, war hammers, empty bottles, maces, burning barrels of pitch, machetes, snares and traps of all sorts and so on will be allowed as well. In addition to artillery and firearms, we have forsworn hand grenades and poison gas as well. There was considerable difference of opinion over the hand grenades, but the traditionalists won out in the end.

Our target remains the same: the coven of Mrs. Carpenter, who is a clear and present danger to all Christians and humanity in general.

[Herman Periwinkle]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I'm not tryin' to toot my own horn here, but I've been weaving together one of the largest nets you have ever seen in your life for the past 9 months. I will set up in front of that wicca lesbian candle store (Bedlam and Beyond or whatever it's called) and lure them in with free samples of crystal light. Witches are like jews; they can't resist free things and they LOVE crystals. I believe in kristallnacht 'cause I believe in me (winning this year)! PRAISE JESUS!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

OK this is not funny. Someone took my bag with 237 hands of witches which I killed in accordance with Exodus 22:18. I am not at all amused here...

[Roland]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

OK this is not funny. Someone took my bag with 237 hands of witches which I killed in accordance with Exodus 22:18. I am not at all amused here...

Why this hardship? Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify. Perhaps someone else cares:

Kind regards Roland

[Herman Periwinkle]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Why this hardship? Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify.

Kind regards Roland

He's clearly speaking of his previous years' trophies, you vile beast toucher! Brother Cranky is well on his way to earning the Lifetime Achievement Award for witch trophies. Can you guess which part of the body makes the best trophy? Go on. Guess witch hand.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify.

Alvin is mistaken. His huge love for Jesus must have distracting him from some Earthly details. This year's witch hunt already started as explained by Daisy Mae Johnson and printed on the permit. I noticed Alvin is suspiciously silent about my missing collection of witch hands...

On a related note, I need my cooling storage for the witch hunt so next weekend there will be a huge BBQ at my place to make space in my freezers. We will try to avoid the slight error from last year that caused some people to each witch meat.

[Back against wall]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Please excuse my lack of research Brother Cranky but I always romantically imagined immortalising a kill and having a Taxidermist set the hands in a casing made of some kind on Perspex, even possibly Glass.

I am hoping to come next year. As October has already commenced it is possibly too late to postpone the annual Abo Culling. Populations are getting out of hand

[Roland]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

[...] Can you guess which part of the body makes the best trophy? Go on. Guess witch hand.

Presuming you meant ¨which hand¨, I would guess it would need to be the left one. It is quite possible a witch might have had a Christian moment somewhere in her past and is missing her right hand, see Matthew 5:30. It would be impossible to take the trophy to prove your kill if you would take right hands as a trophy. You could take the left hand if the right is missing but then someone might offer the suggestion that you inflate your kill number by taking two hands from the same witch. I can imagine it would lead to uncomfortable situations when fellow hunters start mentioning your hands in correlation with John 8:44

Taking the left hand as a trophy would eliminate this problem.

Kind regards, Roland

[Roland]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Alvin is mistaken. His huge love for Jesus must have distracting him from some Earthly details. This year's witch hunt already started as explained by Daisy Mae Johnson and printed on the permit. I noticed Alvin is suspiciously silent about my missing collection of witch hands...

On a related note, I need my cooling storage for the witch hunt so next weekend there will be a huge BBQ at my place to make space in my freezers. We will try to avoid the slight error from last year that caused some people to each witch meat.

When was the last time you had a BBQ?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Our hunting party has had the residence of Mrs. Carpenter under surveillance for some time now and we are on to all her tricks. We have intercepted a telephone call she made in which she spoke of the planned meeting of her coven on Halloween night. It is to be at her house, which will be perfect for the ambush. She seemed very excited as she spoke of the very large group she is expecting. Apparently, she holds high position in more than one coven and as many as 52 witches from four covens will be present. My group is expecting a very large bag of hag and I fully expect to personally win the contest this year.

As to certain references made insinuating misappropriation of witch parts, I plead ignorance of the subject.

[WWJDnow]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I wonder what this year's secret weapon will be. I'm praying for one of those new US Navy rail guns.