Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

[Glendora Christianson]

The next few weeks will test Jesus' strength as Satan celebrates his birthday, but I'm sure with our help, Jesus will prevail. Be on the lookout for elevated activities amongst Witches, Wiccas, Emos, Goths, Homers, and folks who use ipods.

PS I forgot about Demoncrats, Wal-Mart (for selling Helloween paraphernalia) and Metallica fans, etc...

[SUV]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

I'm Afraid, Mother Glynndie, in fact, I'm terrified of those ipod Homer!s!

So it okay if I just yell a quick Repent! and go get on with the CHRISTMAS Season?

Last week to pay into Christmas Club at the Bank, you know!

[Sister Shadow]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

...and folks who use ipods.

Umm... why are ipods considered evil?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Umm... why are ipods considered evil?

Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.

OK, actually it is because they teach children to stick things in orifices they shouldn't stick things in. Ipods are a gateway sex toy to homerism.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.

Apple is headquartered near San Fransissyco so we don't have to state the obvious why they chose a "fruite" as a symbol.

As Pastor Al said, it is short step for Little Jimmy from sticking an ear phone into his ear to Little Jimmy down on skid row letting bums stick their tallywackers into little Jimmy to feed Little Jimmy's crack habit.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

HELLoween makes me want puke!

[tryork5ifp]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



unsaved trash,
tryork5ifp

[Talitha]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



unsaved trash,
tryork5ifp

That's a satisfactory start, but who are you?
Please say hello in the introduction Forum where you are sure to get a friendly greeting

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

That's a satisfactory start, but who are you?
Please say hello in the introduction Forum where you are sure to get a friendly greeting

He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.

Yet another reason NOT to allow your children to celebrate satan's birthday.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.

That'd explain why he reads Catholic literature.

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?

That all depends. Are your neighbors queers, joos or nigras?

Maybe the boys just want to have some fun...

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

That all depends. Are your neighbors queers, joos or nigras?

Maybe the boys just want to have some fun...

Nope, all we have is Mexicans and Catholics (ain't that the same thing?).
Turns out all was well, little buggers were just going into business for themselves selling the darn things (seems their Mom told 'em they couldn't have no money for bullets unless they did their chores).

[christain-goth]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Halloween is about dressing up and getting and having fun, it has nothing to do with satan.

[Brother DT]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Don't forget about that "Cute" little cartoon titled "Its the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" It may look cute but in reality it is the bait that gets your little spricketts hooked by Satan's fishing rod. This little "Halloween Special" is also laden with the left wing agenda.

1. Linus cries like a little Nancy boy when Lucy plunges the knife into the pumpkin to make Satan's Lantern.

2. Linus tries to convert everyone to his cult, who worships the Great Pumpkin (Obviously Satan) ...note, there is a reference to Santa Claus as well.

3. The Kids attend a party which is totally unsupervised. Lucy (Who incidentally is dressed as a witch, kisses a dog (Snoopy) Satan is sometimes depicted as a dog and in Medieval times and now, when a witch kisses Satan, she is making a pact. Now one could easily argue that Snoopy sneaks into the water tub and Lucy is merely bobbing for apples...well we all know that the apple was the fruit that the serpent used to tempt Eve...nuff said

4. Linus and Sally spend the night alone in the pumpkin patch...unchaperoned.

5. Lucy does a sketch on the back of Charlie Browns head, Don't quote me on this but since we already know that Lucy is a witch , this may suggest that Charlie Brown was chosen for the human sacrifice, or at least took the mark of the beast.

6. While the other kids got candy, Charlie Brown got a bag full of rocks, now some of you may think "Oh poor ole Charlie Brown, got a bag of rocks for Halloween." Well think about this, Halloween, or Samhain is the most important holiday of Satanists and Wiccans, since Wicca is an, or claims to be an "Earth Based" religion and since the rocks come from the earth there you have it....This looney toon suggests that there is a bigger agenda behind the psychedelic animation and the nigra music.

7. Now this next part is a bit tricky so bear with me. This cartoon premiered in 1966, which is considered by Satanists as year one. 1966 was the year that Anton Lavey started the 1st church of Satan. It was also the year that John Lennon stated that the Beatles were "Bigger than Jesus" and it was also the year when Roman Polanski's "Rosemary's Baby" was being filmed ( NO need to explain the can of worms that opened up) I can see how this all comes together. This cartoon was made to indoctrinate little kids and old people to serve sin and satan.