[James Hutchins]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Pardon me but I never got the 2011 Witch Hunt permit form, 'Entire Family 2011' version.

My kids are itching at the trigger to hunt against Satan. You should really see my littlest (Moses) with his gun, when he hits the trigger, his tiny body flies about like a rag doll. It is just so cute!

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Is baiting allowed? I had planned to tie a black cat to something in the park and just pick off any witches that come to claim it as their familiar.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Is baiting allowed? I had planned to tie a black cat to something in the park and just pick off any witches that come to claim it as their familiar.

I had an issue last year with baiting, well not the baiting but the professional witch pricker I had hired to sort out witches from the curious. I would bait them, he would stab them with an ice pick and if he drew no blood I had lured and cornered a bonafide witch. Imagine my embarrassment when I found out that his ''ice pick'' was spring loaded and retracted back into the handle. Let me tell you that it was as big a surprise to me as it was to everybody else. Naturally I had to subtract all witches he had identified for me thus putting me out of the running. I, for one, believed the pricker when he said that his machinery had just started malfunctioning right before the judges examined his equipment. His resume was impeccable, coming from a family of prickers from Scotland who have been in operation since 1642.

[Rev.Dr. Six Fingers]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

On Baiting:

It's poor form... This isn't fishing, we're not just sitting in a boat pounding canned bread pulling Gods' bounty from a lake. No, we're out doing the good fight, Good versus Evil. We already have God on our side, why would you need bate?

That aside, can someone please give me some verification on the Witch Test? I'm beginning to doubt my success. I'm using the "Cold Water Method" but I'm running out of millstones already. Now there's some controversy on whether witches sink under the burden of their sins, or float with their witchcraft, but floating could also be a sign of divine intervention. I'd use the "Hot Water Method" but I ran into problems in the past with keeping a pissed off/half boiled Witch around for the requisite three day waiting period...

Anyways, counting the stones I have remaining, I got a bakers' dozen witches at the bottom of the Puget Sound; or at the very least thirteen heathens on the way to hell. So no big loss, and/or happy crabs.

There wont' be much in the way of toes, ears, or googley bits after a couple days with those crabs... Teeth I can provide. Because as luck would have it, while god is merciful, I am not; and I take my time with my witches. Do you need full sets or just one from each witch?

Please advise,

-Ed.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Pardon me but I never got the 2011 Witch Hunt permit form, 'Entire Family 2011' version.

My kids are itching at the trigger to hunt against Satan. You should really see my littlest (Moses) with his gun, when he hits the trigger, his tiny body flies about like a rag doll. It is just so cute!

This, and not Disneyland, should be fun for the whole Christian family (just like stoning of sinners) for its didactical and faith-building value.

...That aside, can someone please give me some verification on the Witch Test? I'm beginning to doubt my success. I'm using the "Cold Water Method" but I'm running out of millstones already...

Why wasting time on testing? Let God sort ‘em out later.

YiC, DUH

[eliot mayfield]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

You guys have no chance. I have hunted witches all over the world. Ever hunted Eastern European witches in the mountains? African witch safari?
No, I didn't think so.
I've been tracking two covens and I know they're about to meet up. I should bag a couple dozen. Judging by the tracks and sign, at least two of them will be nice to mount.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

What do we do with familiars? I have a garage full of cats, a box of toads and a very angry billy goat that I don't know what to do with.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Cat fur makes a nice hat, goats are good eating and toads... well how hard is it to stomp a toad?

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

You guys have no chance. I have hunted witches all over the world. Ever hunted Eastern European witches in the mountains? African witch safari?
No, I didn't think so...

Pfff... I was hunting and being haunted by bitches witches all over the world; Eastern and Central European, African, Ornamental ones, just name it. I even stuffed some of the best specimens. You should’ve seen my collection.

YiC, DUH

[eliot mayfield]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Pfff... I was hunting and being haunted by bitches witches all over the world; Eastern and Central European, African, Ornamental ones, just name it. I even stuffed some of the best specimens. You should’ve seen my collection.

YiC, DUH

Just wait, they're almost in Rut now. I've got my blind ready and it's going to be a record one day total. If we go by poundage, then it'll be an amazing tally. Some of the footprints on their trails are pretty deep. I bet there's at least 2 over 300 in each coven!

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Just wait, they're almost in Rut now. I've got my blind ready and it's going to be a record one day total. If we go by poundage, then it'll be an amazing tally. Some of the footprints on their trails are pretty deep. I bet there's at least 2 over 300 in each coven!

Whoa! It seems you’re up to a great catch, brother; usually there aren’t more than 13 creatures per coven. Have you read Kramer’s Malleus Maleficarum already? It sure offers some great advices.

May God bless you in your righteous endeavor!

[Proud Faroese]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

I would like to tell you all that i am coming to the witch hunt this year, i have been granted a visa to the USA for this trip. I just have a couple of questions:

1. Is it allowed to hunt with harpoon? I have a special designed harpoon gun with harpoons that lits the target on fire, and one harpoon gun that makes the targets simply blow up, i made these for my whale hunting as they dont allow real guns here because Denmark is occupying us. If its not allowed to hunt with harpoon i might just buy a gun or two when i arrive, as America is the guns home country!

2. Is witch-clubbing allowed?

3. Does Freehold have a gun store?

[Bob4God]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

3. Does Freehold have a gun store?

Yes. I am the owner and proprietor of FREEHOLD FIREARMS.

Perhaps one day when you're a True Christian, you can come to Freehold and look at my guns.

As for hunting this year, I am offering a huge supply of brand new items I just received in time for Halloween.

Thermal vision goggles, laser-sighted sniper rifles, tear gas, fin-stabilized buckshot ammo for knocking witches right out of the sky... you name it, we got it this year.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Did Dick Cheney contact anybody for a visitors pass again this year? I saw him on television recently and he is walking around with a mechanical heart, walking around is kind of stretching it I guess. I know it is positive press to have him join us but what with this external heart pump and his past history of shooting his hunting partner in the face.... okay the bottom line is this, I really do not want to buddy up with him this year, do you realize how hard it is to get a decent shot off while pushing a wheelchair?

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Are explosives going to be allowed this year?

Little is funnier that seeing a witch take the bait of a a little niglett ankle chained to a post that was swaged into the ground.
The look on the witches face when she realizes a bomb is there and the count down clock shows three seconds. Really quite priceless.