A Christian Family Movie for Christmas

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I'm proud to announce that, in appreciation of God's smiting the wicked with the Chinese Virus, and in the hopes of bringing America nearer to Christ's Vision of Salvation and the End of Days, Landover Christian Productions has produced an Epic!

Set in the late fall in the Mid-West, the movie opens by introducing its audience to the lives of the characters of a small town. All seems ordinary but are they following God's Ways? Do they know what God really wants? The protagonist Christian Salvation ("Chris" to his friends, and brilliantly portrayed by the ever-youthful Pastor Ezekiel Flint) is hoping to wed Miss Innocence Honey, but his plans have to be set aside when a stranger comes into town and asks the citizens to join with him in praise.

This movie is a true Christmas treat for all the family - something we all deserve after the Real President has had an election stolen from him!

The movie has had to be R rated but we are currently appealing this as there is no more sex and violence than than in any chapter of KJV 1611.

[WWJDnow]

Re: A Christian Family Movie for Christmas

I've heard there is a touching scene where a retarded boy fails to understand the good news that Jesus Christ dies for his sins. I don't want to spoil anything, but his afterlife does not go well. I can't wait to see it!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: A Christian Family Movie for Christmas

For the record: I'd like to mention that my performance as Dr. Payne was most Biblical. I was also able to remember the lines quite well as they were mostly Biblical quotes, as they should be. And for anyone doubting the Spiritually Immaculate nature of my thespian tendencies, I'd like to present with a few verses that prove the Christian™ nature of this undertaking.

2 Samuel 2:14
And Abner said to Joab, Let the young men now arise, and play before us. And Joab said, Let them arise.

1 Corinthians 10:7-8
Neither be ye idolaters, as [were] some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

Obviously, I'm expecting loads of Academy awards. Only a fraud unlike anyone seen in the past history of mankind can cause the awards to go to other movies and even then we're prepared to sue Hollywood.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer