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  • Mad Prophet Helmholtz
    Recovering Outpatient From The Landover Rehabilitation Unit
    Forum Member
    • May 2009
    • 666
    #1

    Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

    Happy Birthday to Landover's resident hemmorhoid!

    Or do you not celebrate birthdays since they reinforce the notion that women give birth and that would be in contradiction to your radical lesbian feminist philosophy?
    sigpic
    SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

    Hosea 9:7
    The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
    Tags: None
    • Miss April
      Landover's Version of Carrie Prejean
      Forum Member
      • Apr 2009
      • 685
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

      I Didn't Think she celebrated her birthday cause it might be to sexist But anyway Happy Birthday Nigro you should be really glad Jesus keept you alive this year

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

          April, I do not think I could of said it much better. Perhaps I should get the 'prof.' a T-shirt from Targets..............
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

              Better have a second slice of cake lady. Jesus tells me this will most likely be your final birthday.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                  In the tradition of non-sexist, non-racist, non-ageist birthdays, I'm going to not get you a gift this year.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                      Congratulations on not dying of the AIDS for another year, Professor Brought-to-you-by-the-letter Q!
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

                        • SUV
                          True Christian™ Princess
                          The Driving Force behind RA12
                          Have at it, anytime!
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 11027
                          #7
                          Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                          Happy birthday, you

                            Comment

                            • WickedWitch
                              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 1366
                              #8
                              Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                              Originally posted by Happy Birthday, by the Arrogant Worms
                              Once a year we celebrate with stupid hats and plastic plates
                              The fact that you were able to make another trip around the sun
                              And the whole clan gathers round and gifts and laughter do abound
                              And we let out a joyful sound and sing that stupid song

                              Happy Birthday
                              Now you're one year older
                              Happy Birthday
                              Your life still isn't over
                              Happy Birthday
                              You did not accomplish much
                              But you didn't die this year
                              I guess that's good enough

                              So let's drink to your fading health and hope you don't remind yourself
                              Your chances of finding fame and wealth decrease with every year
                              Does it feel like you're doing laps and eating food and taking naps
                              And hoping that some day perhaps your life will hold some cheer

                              Happy Birthday
                              What have you done that matters?
                              Happy Birthday
                              You're starting to get fatter
                              Happy Birthday
                              It's downhill from now on
                              Try not to remind yourself
                              Your best years are all gone

                              If cryogenics were all free then you could live like Walt Disney
                              And live for all eternity inside a block of ice
                              But instead your time is set this is the only life you get
                              And though it hasn't ended yet sometimes you wish it might

                              Happy Birthday
                              You wish you had more money
                              Happy Birthday
                              Your life's so sad it's funny
                              Happy Birthday
                              How much more can you take
                              But your friends are hungry
                              So just cut the stupid cake

                              Happy Birthday
                              Happy Birthday
                              Happy Birthday
                              Happy Birthday, Professor X. I hope that wasn't offensive in some way (as a Canadian, I strive to be politically correct, I hope it's working).
                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                                Comment

                                • JennyD
                                  Honorary True Christian™
                                  Sweet Placid Sister
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Dec 2007
                                  • 9567
                                  #9
                                  Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                  Happy Birthday, Professor Boogie!

                                  In honor of your birthday, I've sent copies of Can't Stop the Music to all your students at UC Berkeley. (They should have arrived yesterday.)

                                  I'm sure they'll be all a-twitter in class today, talking about your disco star turn in the scene featuring the Ritchie Family!

                                  Here, let me repost your exciting scene just in case someone missed it in the other thread.

                                  www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                                  Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                                  Christian Ladies:
                                  Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                                    Comment

                                    • SUV
                                      True Christian™ Princess
                                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                                      Have at it, anytime!
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 11027
                                      #10
                                      Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                      You tell 'er, Sister Alie

                                        Comment

                                        • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                          Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                          Christ's Rottweiler
                                           
                                          • Jan 2008
                                          • 22906
                                          #11
                                          Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                          The Greeks said, "With age comes wisdom." funny how wrong the Greeks can be...
                                          sigpic


                                          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                          Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                            Comment

                                            • WickedWitch
                                              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                                              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                                              • Jan 2007
                                              • 1366
                                              #12
                                              Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                              Originally posted by SUV View Post
                                              You tell 'er, Sister Alie
                                              Thanks, dearest SUV.
                                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                                                Comment

                                                • stavros
                                                  Unsaved trash, Greek Godmocker
                                                  • Jun 2009
                                                  • 47
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                                  Originally posted by Miss April View Post
                                                  I Didn't Think she celebrated her birthday cause it might be to sexist But anyway Happy Birthday Nigro you should be really glad Jesus keept you alive this year
                                                  You´re also racist?
                                                  And i thought you were a perfect woman:S
                                                  Mark 9:43-48
                                                  ... into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Johnnyboy
                                                      True Christian™ fisherman
                                                      • Jun 2009
                                                      • 801
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                                      Originally posted by stavros View Post
                                                      You´re also racist?
                                                      And i thought you were a perfect woman:S
                                                      Why do you accuse Miss April of being racist. LBC is a Christian forum and we abhor racism in any form. Miss April is a fine young Christian lady and is definately NOT a racist. Please hit the shift key when typing "I". It's a personal pronoun and should aways be capitalized. If you're British, we have a typing class thread set up.

                                                      Thanks,

                                                        Comment

                                                        • stavros
                                                          Unsaved trash, Greek Godmocker
                                                          • Jun 2009
                                                          • 47
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Happy Birthday, Professor Tyeisha X!

                                                          Originally posted by Johnnyboy View Post
                                                          Why do you accuse Miss April of being racist. LBC is a Christian forum and we abhor racism in any form. Miss April is a fine young Christian lady and is definately NOT a racist. Please hit the shift key when typing "I". It's a personal pronoun and should aways be capitalized. If you're British, we have a typing class thread set up.

                                                          Thanks,
                                                          Because of the way she addressed to the black woman whose name I don´t know...
                                                          Sorry for the I.
                                                          Won´t happen again
                                                          And i´m not british
                                                          Mark 9:43-48
                                                          ... into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

                                                            Comment

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