Alert: Begin Stocking Up On Toilet Paper

[Nobar King]

Your favorite toilet paper is now in the crosshairs. Begin stocking up now. The environmentalists don't want you to enjoy your Charmin, anymore. They'll only be happy when you are wiping your ass with recycled paper, or even news print.

I already started calculating how many cases of Charmin Ultra Soft I will need for at least 10 years. Since space is at a premium at my house I think I'll just buy four cases. That should last me at least a couple of years.

[confedchick]

Re: Alert: Begin Stocking Up On Toilet Paper

I couldn't imagine K using that hard sandpapery stuff. If that were to ever happen, I'll have to think of an alternative. Perhaps I could buy those really soft shop towels that are washable - like the t-shirt feel? Maybe some cotton diapers for wipees and I'll have to wash them every day. K will not be bothered if something like this happens!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Alert: Begin Stocking Up On Toilet Paper

At my house I use custom TP.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Alert: Begin Stocking Up On Toilet Paper

Few realize that the subject of cleansing that part is of biblical significance and, as such, is to be taken seriously.

Romans did not use toilet paper. Instead, they had a communal sponge-on-a-stick kept in a bucket of vinegar. They wiped, rinsed it off, and put it back for the next centurion.

M't:27:48: And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink.

You may have wondered what a sponge on a stick was doing conveniently near a soldier or why it was necessary to put the sponge on a reed. Simply put, the stick alone was too short to reach up to Jesus on the Cross.

So no longer think that the insult to Jesus, who enjoyed the odd glass of wine, was the vinegar, no! It was where the thing had been before. Thus, we have the reference to how, in happier times, Christ himself got those claggy or greasy bits off His Perfect Anus.

The sponge-on-a-stick is very efficient, and we can conclude that Christ was without skid-marks on his white robes, which might otherwise have detracted from His Holy Bearing.

So it was, that as a child, I too was given a primitive device for my ablutions. When I was 15, my father presented me with the sponge part. I felt that Jesus had touched me.

Soft toilet paper has never attracted me and the above article is of no importance to my faith.