Enhancements Jesus Would Like

[Old Iron Crotch]

A back limber enough to pick his own dirty clothes off the floor.

Legs strong enough to carry him to the refrigerator to get his own beer.

The mental acuity to figure out what those knobs on the stove do.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

You are one unholy demoness, aren't you! None of the things you listed are Manly activities. Haven't you ever even read the Bible?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

You are one unholy demoness, aren't you! None of the things you listed are Manly activities. Haven't you ever even read the Bible?

What's unmanly about carrying your own dirty clothes to the laundry room? Do you even know where the laundry room is?

How does getting your own beer make you effeminate? If you're feeling insecure, you can always display your masculinity by opening bottled beers with your teeth, and crushing the empties from canned beers against your forehead.

And I promise you that you won't grow breasts if you turn on a stove burner to boil water for coffee once in a while.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

They hear ya. And you can be certain that they don't care.

[Talitha]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

What's unmanly about carrying your own dirty clothes to the laundry room? Do you even know where the laundry room is?

How does getting your own beer make you effeminate? If you're feeling insecure, you can always display your masculinity by opening bottled beers with your teeth, and crushing the empties from canned beers against your forehead.

And I promise you that you won't grow breasts if you turn on a stove burner to boil water for coffee once in a while.

Jesus does not expect our True Christian™ Men to know where the Kitchen is, let alone a Laundry Room.
Have you never heard of a woman's Work?
You need a good Slap from your Man and a few lessons in how a Woman should behave from one of our Pastors; Who, I am sure, would only be too willing to oblige for the right price person.
The bit about growing Breasts........... well, you only have to look at the Moobs on some Atheist Men to see how wrong your argument is.
Praise The Lord for our True Christian™ Men and their manly Chests and Six-Packs.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

Jesus does not expect our True Christian™ Men to know where the Kitchen is, let alone a Laundry Room.
Have you never heard of a woman's Work?

I've heard of that out-dated notion. Unless he's in a body cast, there is no good reason that a man should no be expected to pick his own dirty clothes up off the floor, and take his own dirty dishes to the kitchen.

You need a good Slap from your Man and a few lessons in how a Woman should behave from one of our Pastors; Who, I am sure, would only be too willing to oblige for the right price person.

I hit back.

The bit about growing Breasts........... well, you only have to look at the Moobs on some Atheist Men to see how wrong your argument is.
Praise The Lord for our True Christian™ Men and their manly Chests and Six-Packs.

If a guy has moobs, it's because he's not getting enough exercise. A few deep knees bends to pick his clothes up off the floor and daily laps to and from the laundry room would do him some good.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

If a guy has moobs, it's because he's not getting enough exercise. A few deep knees bends to pick his clothes up off the floor and daily laps to and from the laundry room would do him some good.

Why not have the guy put on a frilly dress doing ballet in public since it might do him some good? There is certainly nothing directly harmful to a man if he were to prancing around in a pink tights shouting out in a falsetto “I am a little tea cup”. It certainly would be a good aerobic work out even it is a virtual castration.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

Why not have the guy put on a frilly dress doing ballet in public since it might do him some good? There is certainly nothing directly harmful to a man if he were to prancing around in a pink tights shouting out in a falsetto “I am a little tea cup”. It certainly would be a good aerobic work out even it is a virtual castration.

If he wants to, it's no skin off my nose. As long as when he takes it off, he brings it to the laundry room instead of leaving it on the floor.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

If he wants to, it's no skin off my nose. As long as when he takes it off, he brings it to the laundry room instead of leaving it on the floor.

If this is how you treat your husband your lack of compassion is truely chilling.

[Brother V]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

If he wants to, it's no skin off my nose. As long as when he takes it off, he brings it to the laundry room instead of leaving it on the floor.

Someday you may find someone that you love, instead of feeling like you are in a competition with that person.

Until then, you will continually shout at the top of your lungs "we are equal".

Friend, when you love someone enough, the clothes won't be on the floor, because when you took his socks off, you put them into the laundry basket yourself.

Why am I reminded of this story?

Luke 7:38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

Friend, that's love there. True LOVE.

Until you can stop thinking that you can do anything as good as a man, and decide that instead, there's nothing you won't do for your man, you will never be happy with a man. Conversely, the man will probably be happy to do things for you too, like PROVIDE!!!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

Someday you may find someone that you love, instead of feeling like you are in a competition with that person.

Until then, you will continually shout at the top of your lungs "we are equal".

Actually,I have someone that I love, and we treat each other as equals.

Friend, when you love someone enough, the clothes won't be on the floor, because when you took his socks off, you put them into the laundry basket yourself.

He's a grown man, and is perfectly capapble of dressing and undressing himself. When he injured his rotator cuff a while back, I helped him with his shoes and socks because it was painful for him to bend and stretch his arm to put them on. I don't object to helping him out when he's in pain, but there's no reason for a healthy man to expect someone else to dress and undress him.

Why am I reminded of this story?

Luke 7:38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

Friend, that's love there. True LOVE.

If his feet are sore, I'm willing to massage them after he washes them.

Until you can stop thinking that you can do anything as good as a man, and decide that instead, there's nothing you won't do for your man, you will never be happy with a man. Conversely, the man will probably be happy to do things for you too, like PROVIDE!!!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V

We both have jobs, we both provide income, we both do housework, we both do yardwork, we both cook. I'd give my life to save his, and he would do the same for me, but I don't expect him to pick up my dirty socks, and he doesn't expect me to pick up his.

[Brother V]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

We both have jobs, we both provide income, we both do housework, we both do yardwork, we both cook. I'd give my life to save his, and he would do the same for me, but I don't expect him to pick up my dirty socks, and he doesn't expect me to pick up his.

What kind of a "man" doesn't make enough money for his woman to stay home and raise the kids?

It's kind of funny, as I'm thinking about how an "equal" relationship goes. From what I see, the woman just sits around complaining that she can do anything a man can do, and then has the man open the car door, pay for dinner at the restaurant, pay for the tickets to the movie, buy the popcorn, soda, raisinettes... open the car door, then during the drive back complain about how the maiden in the film wouldn't do anything for herself.

Why don't you try this, pamper your man. Pick up his dirty socks. Get him a beer BEFORE he asks for it. Make him something nice for dinner.

You seem to be worried about being perceived as an equal. See what kind of things you wind up getting when you do those nice things for him.

What does your man do to earn his income?

What do you do?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

What kind of a "man" doesn't make enough money for his woman to stay home and raise the kids?

He and I have no children, nor do we want any.

It's kind of funny, as I'm thinking about how an "equal" relationship goes. From what I see, the woman just sits around complaining that she can do anything a man can do, and then has the man open the car door, pay for dinner at the restaurant, pay for the tickets to the movie, buy the popcorn, soda, raisinettes... open the car door, then during the drive back complain about how the maiden in the film wouldn't do anything for herself.

We open our own car doors. If one of us has full hands, the other opens the doors. We take turns paying for outings, and we split the household bills.

Why don't you try this, pamper your man. Pick up his dirty socks. Get him a beer BEFORE he asks for it. Make him something nice for dinner.

If I go to get a beer for myself, I'll ask if he wants one. When it's my turn to cook, I make nice dinners for the both of us. I'm not picking up after him.

You seem to be worried about being perceived as an equal. See what kind of things you wind up getting when you do those nice things for him.

I have everything I want from him - I have his love and his respect.

What does your man do to earn his income?

What do you do?

We both work.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

He and I have no children, nor do we want any.

What kind of a man can't even manage to impregnate his own wife? Did you marry a Jew or something?

We open our own car doors. If one of us has full hands, the other opens the doors. We take turns paying for outings, and we split the household bills.

When you're afflicted with the curse of Eve, does he stuff some filthy cotton device down his pants in solidarity?

If I go to get a beer for myself, I'll ask if he wants one. When it's my turn to cook, I make nice dinners for the both of us. I'm not picking up after him.

In case you hadn't noticed, you're female. When is it ever not your turn to cook?

I have everything I want from him - I have his love and his respect.

But do you have his orders? Without the active guidance of your man, it sounds like you're living a pretty futile existence.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like

What kind of a man can't even manage to impregnate his own wife? Did you marry a Jew or something?

Go back and re-read the post - we DON'T WANT any.

When you're afflicted with the curse of Eve, does he stuff some filthy cotton device down his pants in solidarity?

Menopause, dear.

In case you hadn't noticed, you're female. When is it ever not your turn to cook?

When it's his turn to cook.

But do you have his orders? Without the active guidance of your man, it sounds like you're living a pretty futile existence.

I don't take orders, and he doesn't give them. We both prefer it that way. If he wants me to do something, he asks me, and most of the time, I do what he asks. If I want him to do something, I ask him, and most of the time, he does what I ask. And your concern regarding the level of meaning in my life is touching, but unnecessary. My life is quite fulfilling, thanks.