Affiliates

[Pentecost]

Does Landover Baptist have any affiliate churches in the Oklahoma City area?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Affiliates

Does Landover Baptist have any affiliate churches in the Oklahoma City area?

I've always thought that would be an ideal location to open a franchise. Tell me all about it: are mexicans easily aquirable? Do the police persecute Christians, or will they stop if we make a donation? Is there a decent red-light district for us to save harlot souls in?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Affiliates

How easily accessible are the fillet Mignon steaks?

[Pentecost]

Re: Affiliates

I've always thought that would be an ideal location to open a franchise. Tell me all about it: are mexicans easily aquirable? Do the police persecute Christians, or will they stop if we make a donation? Is there a decent red-light district for us to save harlot souls in?

We have a plethora of Mexicans. We don't have any persecution; I think that went away when we went from living in teepees to having electricty and brick buildings. And there are whores all over Martin Luther King Ave.

I think all the Mexicans are Catholics, but they tend to be easily approachable once their finished praying to their thousands of saint statues.

I just thought it would be kinda' cool to hear a sermon from the Landover Baptist Church since I'm not sure if any of the Baptist churches around here are as hardcore as you guys.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Affiliates

We have a plethora of Mexicans. We don't have any persecution; I think that went away when we went from living in teepees to having electricty and brick buildings. And there are whores all over Martin Luther King Ave.

I think all the Mexicans are Catholics, but they tend to be easily approachable once their finished praying to their thousands of saint statues.

I just thought it would be kinda' cool to hear a sermon from the Landover Baptist Church since I'm not sure if any of the Baptist churches around here are as hardcore as you guys.

Well Westbourg Baptist comes close, though I think Pastor Fred Pheleps is a bit to permissive with sinners. They're your way.

You understand until we are sure you have gotten Jesus' Divine Revelation we can't allow you into Freehold, Iowa?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Affiliates

I've always thought that would be an ideal location to open a franchise. Tell me all about it: are mexicans easily aquirable? Do the police persecute Christians, or will they stop if we make a donation? Is there a decent red-light district for us to save harlot souls in?

You are correct Brother Jeb, I distinctly remember attending a Church council meeting wherein this very issue was discussed. The details escape me at the moment as it has been some years, but I do remember that Oklahomer City was a particularly depraved place. When Jesus sent a series of F5 tornadoes there it was voted unanimous that for the moment the Lord was taking care of the problem. I think it was about that time we became concerned that the Freehold clock tower was not Y2K compliant.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Affiliates

Wasn't there a sealed report approximately 10 years ago about an "operative" being sent there with a supply of milk jugs? I seem to recall something being discussed, but at the time my tithing level wasn't sufficient for full disclosure, unfortunately for me....

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Affiliates

Does Landover Baptist have any affiliate churches in the Oklahoma City area?

Oklahomo city? Wasn't there terrorism there during the Clinton administration? And then Clinton appeased the terrorists by not invading. Had Bush been president then, Oklahomo city would have been cluster-bombed into the stone age, Halliburton hired to fill in the craters, and nobody would have ever messed with us again.