[Seth Campbell]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

You're absolutely right there, Sibling in Christ.

Here's a picture of her reacting to a bath. As you can see, baths up setter.

Opinions?

A lab that doesn't like water? Very strange.

Liz is right, I think you can get rid of her lesbian tendencies by spaying her (I'm a real stickler about all mixbreeds being spayed). and using something like this

http://www.tritronics.com/trashbreaker-g3-exp.html

To stop her from playing with the wrong kinds of dogs. Zap her on the high setting whenever she gets close to these lesbian mexican harlots and she'll learn to hate them soon enough.

Oh, the one I listed has a 2-mile range (line of sight) so you don't have to be close to do this.

[Hubert Hope]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

As the heading says, I'd like your views on this. The dog was a stray we picked up about 3 years ago. she's a great family pet but there are a couple of facets I'm at my wits end about.

1)
She is definitely a lesbian. Will not allow herself to be ...ehem...impregnated, turns aggressively on any male dog that tries to do so...ANNNND...her bum chums are 2 little female chihuahuas. No details are really necessary but I'm in no doubt as to her orientation.

2)
She's racist. She hates South Americans and Gypsies. Threatens them and even barks at them through a 2 foot brick wall - she knows when they go past.

At first I tried to beat/train/bribe her out of both of these tendencies (that was before I awoke to the Lord's Voice), but there doesn't seem anything that can be done to alter her behaviour.

My query (no pun intended) is this:

Is her deviant behaviour and racism anything to worry about in any way for myself, my family our souls or God's Kingdom of nature itself?

And is there any cure (if at all necessary - I wouldn't like to have to pay compensation to someone who's provoking my dog by their physical appearance, but there you have it. It's a mad world we live in.)?


All advice welcomed,

YIC, McUinnean of that Ilk.

Should that dog belongs to me sir! I would first, personally consult Jesus about the problem at hand, I would pray to the lord Christ Jesus to gain his Godly apporval to whatever action I will eventually undertake for the sake of the dog and the well blessed being in Christ Jesus!.

The next step I'll take is that I will let the dog choose it's sexual paths & enjoy the freedom the lord Christ Jesus has given it. I would let the dog continue it's freedom of being a fag-dog, let the little homer doggy enjoy it's nasty sexual debauched way of life involving sodomy and all type of immoral sexual acts........Untill Christ Jesus cursed the little dogster & punish the little fag-harlot with AIDS that is .....Then & only then I will slay it and send it to China for the evil ungodly demonic commie slope eat it raw.

[DeadMan89]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

I'd shoot it. It's just a dumb animal.

So are you, but I don't shoot you.

Give your dog some more time, if the same problem keeps happening, maybe take her to the vet. Maybe it's something medical.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

So are you, but I don't shoot you.

Give your dog some more time, if the same problem keeps happening, maybe take her to the vet. Maybe it's something medical.

So homosexuality in humans is normal, but in dogs it's a medical condition?

Here most liebrals try and claim that homosexuality is seen in all animals. I really wish you people would make up your minds. Well if you had them.

[Hubert Hope]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

So are you, but I don't shoot you.

Give your dog some more time, if the same problem keeps happening, maybe take her to the vet. Maybe it's something medical.

The Vet doesn't know anything about demonic posession you numbty!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Update:

The dog has been beaten. I let the kids do that. Good target practice.

A nagging doubt from my good lady wife Señora McUinnean was this:

The dog may not not why it is being beaten.


It maimed a stray cat later that day.
Is this a good sign or a bad sign?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Update:

The dog has been beaten. I let the kids do that. Good target practice.

A nagging doubt from my good lady wife Señora McUinnean was this:

The dog may not not why it is being beaten.

Sure, ignore the woman who trains dogs....

Get the electronic collar and zap it on high whenever it gets near another female dog, it will learn to hate females from that.

Whatever the dog did before the kids beat it is what it thinks it was beaten for. So if you called it over to you for the beating, it thinks you beat it for coming when called.

It maimed a stray cat later that day.
Is this a good sign or a bad sign?

Depends, do you want it to maim stray cats?

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Depends, do you want it to maim stray cats?

Not sure. I think I'd rather it just disembowelled them and shut them up instead of leaving them hanging around and whingeing all night keeping me awake.

[PartyPoison]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

As the heading says, I'd like your views on this. The dog was a stray we picked up about 3 years ago. she's a great family pet but there are a couple of facets I'm at my wits end about.

1)
She is definitely a lesbian. Will not allow herself to be ...ehem...impregnated, turns aggressively on any male dog that tries to do so...ANNNND...her bum chums are 2 little female chihuahuas. No details are really necessary but I'm in no doubt as to her orientation.

2)
She's racist. She hates South Americans and Gypsies. Threatens them and even barks at them through a 2 foot brick wall - she knows when they go past.

At first I tried to beat/train/bribe her out of both of these tendencies (that was before I awoke to the Lord's Voice), but there doesn't seem anything that can be done to alter her behaviour.

My query (no pun intended) is this:

Is her deviant behaviour and racism anything to worry about in any way for myself, my family our souls or God's Kingdom of nature itself?

And is there any cure (if at all necessary - I wouldn't like to have to pay compensation to someone who's provoking my dog by their physical appearance, but there you have it. It's a mad world we live in.)?


All advice welcomed,

YIC, McUinnean of that Ilk.

:O What the F*CK? How can an animal be gay? And racist? My god. Someone teach this people on here a lesson about common sense, by the way. I am enjoying your little violent smileys a bit too much ;]

Especially the heavy metal one
Enjoi your "perverted" pooch you little apathetic bastards!

[One-Love-man]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

@Believer in God:

YOu needed a pic, and although this is not the actual dog, she is identical to this. A Labrador/with a small percentage of something else.

Hi man you guys are more stoned then me man, but I'll get stone then I'll see it to man.....
peace Love an....wow seeing it now, your right the coyote is talking to me he's playing the flute and singing it's like multi colored

peace man

[__MK__]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Pets tend to take on the personality characteristics of their masters. They do not reason like humans; they act on instinct alone. So, the racism most likely comes from you. It senses your anxiety around other races and responds with aggression.

The lesbian issue is more complex. The discussion may go back to the choice or genetics debate. In the case of genetics, your dog is a lesbian and there is nothing you can do about it. In the case of choice, you may be projecting a macho, womanizing persona onto her. In this case she reacts to your treatment of other women with rejection of male dogs and replacing them with female dogs.

In any case, dogs are great pets. They have substantial benefits to mental and physical health. In most cases if there is a problem with the dog they there is a problem with owner.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Pets tend to take on the personality characteristics of their masters. They do not reason like humans; they act on instinct alone. So, the racism most likely comes from you. It senses your anxiety around other races and responds with aggression.

The lesbian issue is more complex. The discussion may go back to the choice or genetics debate. In the case of genetics, your dog is a lesbian and there is nothing you can do about it. In the case of choice, you may be projecting a macho, womanizing persona onto her. In this case she reacts to your treatment of other women with rejection of male dogs and replacing them with female dogs.

In any case, dogs are great pets. They have substantial benefits to mental and physical health. In most cases if there is a problem with the dog they there is a problem with owner.

WRONG beat the gay out of the dog!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

UPDATE:

Thanks to all for the advice. Especially to the more biblical contributors.

Having learned through beatings my dog has now been regularly chasing and attempting to maim its former lover (Nukka - the ugly wee black chihuahua) on sight.

The investigation into the biting of the little Peruvian girl was closed as inconclusive.

Thank you friends, I now have a happy, God fearing dog and a new best friend with which to go hunting for deer.

[SnakesAndScreamo]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Sure, ignore the woman who trains dogs....

You train dogs? Could you possibly give me some advice on training a husky pup, please, if its not too much trouble?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

You train dogs? Could you possibly give me some advice on training a husky pup, please, if its not too much trouble?

Explain to the dog in a firm tone what he has to do. If he refuses, shoot the dog and get a new one.