What About Shellfish???

[Glendora Christianson]

I had some (very special Christians) tell me they're no longer eating shellfish. Anyway, I am concerned about the confusion about shellfish and I am also concerned about their words "no longer" which suggests that these "good" Baptists have at one time eaten shellfish. YOUR THOUGHTS APPRECIATED, GASPING GLENDORA

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What About Shellfish???

ABOMINATION ALERT! Sister Glendora, anyone who has eaten shellfish in the past has added to their burden of sin. They must repent their repast. Christ is merciful, just; and He may forgive them. But it is written:

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Leviticus 11:10,11

Now, shellfish live in the waters and HAVE NOT FINS NOR SCALES.

Oysters, mussels, clams, cockles, abalone -- the Lord God says they are all abominations and the Christian may not eat of their flesh.

Now, sister Glendora, I do believe that some backsliding Christians partake of such horrors. For instance, the Chepachet Free Will "Baptist" Church for many years sponsored a "...traditional Rhode Island clam bake." ABOMINATION! The Lord shall smite these backsliders and HERETICS mightily for their sin. And the smoke of their burning shall rise up forever!

Just say NO to shellfish! As commanded in scripture!

Also, lobster, octopus, and squid must be considered off limits as well, as they live in the waters and HAVE NOT FINS NOR SCALES.

Hope this helps.

~~ OEJ

[WickedWitch]

Re: What About Shellfish???

*Enamoured sigh* Oh, Jack. With your good looks, your boyish charm, your rapier wit, and your extensive knowledge of the Bible, can anyone blame me for having a crush on you? I do so wish you'd reconsider putting up withmarrying me and teaching me some new moveshow to be a good wife for you. *Swoon*

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: What About Shellfish???

*Enamoured sigh* Oh, Jack. With your good looks, your boyish charm, your rapier wit, and your extensive knowledge of the Bible, can anyone blame me for having a crush on you? I do so wish you'd reconsider putting up withmarrying me and teaching me some new moveshow to be a good wife for you. *Swoon*

I'm trying to figure out what your post has to do with the subject at hand.

PS What about crab legs?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: What About Shellfish???

PS What about crab legs?

A little moisturizer after you shave will help.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What About Shellfish???

A little moisturizer after you shave will help.

Well look at that! The End times surely must be upon us. Dances without Joy made a funny!

[JennyD]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Well look at that! The End times surely must be upon us. Dances without Joy made a funny!

Indeed she did!

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Also, lobster, octopus, and squid must be considered off limits as well, as they live in the waters and HAVE NOT FINS NOR SCALES.

PS What about crab legs?

Could we consider lobster to have really large scales?

I have never associated crab and lobster exoskeletons to be similar to the shells of...say oysters and clams.

Of course, I also used to kill unborn babies. I think I need a Pastors advice on that one.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Could we consider lobster to have really large scales?

I have never associated crab and lobster exoskeletons to be similar to the shells of...say oysters and clams.

Of course, I also used to kill unborn babies. I think I need a Pastors advice on that one.

I might tentatively suggest that oysters and clams could be classified as stones... or indeed see the sense in the exo-skeleton of a crab or lobster being one big scale...

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Now, I just don't know about hairsplitting, my good brethren and sistern.

It seems to me that we normally understand the word "scales" when applied to sea creatures to mean "fish scales". We normally call that which surrounds a lobster or crayfish or crab as its "shell" or "exoskeleton" -- and not scales.

Oh LORD! Enlighten us poor mortals on Your great Word here!

Now, if we start calling things by abnormal names, where does the slippery slope lead?

Right to the acceptance of gayosity!

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 13

Now, suppose a man performing FAGITORIOUS acts with another lays down whilst wearing NFL football apparel? They are not laying with mankind as with a woman because women don't wear NFL pads to bed!

Or suppose he performs acts of exceeding homoperplexity as he hangs upside down from a trapeze. He is not laying with mankind as with a woman -- he is not laying with mankind at all, but performing his promiscuous perversions whilst inverted!

See? See how easily we could set foot on the claybank of interpretation and find ourselves sliding into the ditch of sanctioning homersexural abominations just because they are not performed to the literal letter of Leviticus?

No, if we begin by reinterpreting a lobster's jointed armor as "scales" then we may well end by interpreting the Law right out of God.

My advice: eat not the clam, if you love Jesus! Leave the lobster alone. And Sister Glendora, pass on the crab legs.

~~ OEJ

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: What About Shellfish???

I looked into the subject a little further and it seemed to help clarify the things.

Crustacian exoskeletons are NOT scales!

While I am going off of the word of liberal scientists (God forgive me!) I think that OEJ's "When in doubt don't eat it" philosophy could be followed as well. For instance, there was this one time when I took a late night drive into a questionable area of town and a woman strolled up to the car and when she spoke I found her voice surprisingly deep....

But that is not the here and now.

Whatever God's opinion is on the matter, there is very possibly the chance that one may go to Hell for eating lobster and no chance of going to Hell for not eating lobster.

I think we should go with the odds on this one.

[Bill Tardy]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Of course, I also used to kill unborn babies.

There is something i highly doubt about that. would you not have been arrested for that, well i hope you don't do it anymore

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Acts 10:9 On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter went up upon the housetop to pray about the sixth hour:
10 And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance,
11 And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending upon him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth:
12 Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.
13 And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.
14 But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean.
15 And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.
16 This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

Since sea creatures are not mentioned in that passage, we have no idea whether or not lobsters and shrimps have been cleansed in the blood of Jesus, so we avoid eating them. But God has definitely cleansed all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. Praise Jesus!!

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Of course, I also used to kill unborn babies.

There is something i highly doubt about that. would you not have been arrested for that, well i hope you don't do it anymore

Yes, in a God-fearing country baby-killers would have been brought to justice. Remember that Just Because God Loves to Kill Babies, Doesn't Give You Permission!

Since sea creatures are not mentioned in that passage, we have no idea whether or not lobsters and shrimps have been cleansed in the blood of Jesus, so we avoid eating them. But God has definitely cleansed all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. Praise Jesus!!

Good point. I'll arrange a picket campaign against the local ostrich farm ASAP.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What About Shellfish???

Good point. I'll arrange a picket campaign against the local ostrich farm ASAP.

VERY good point! And yet another example of why God hates Australia!