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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930

    #1

    Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

    I have heard that he drives with 3 members of the Vatican Boy's Choir in his back seat to sing, because "CD's don't sound as good."
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

    I've heard that he's wanted in several countries for crimes against God.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Chewer
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Mar 2014
      • 121

      #3
      Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

      I've heard he's known to "Maurlester" the boys that sing to him!

      Comment

      • Mother Of Seven
        True Christian™ with a quiverful
        • Jan 2014
        • 2243

        #4
        Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

        I heard he was in Australia as a subpoened witness to the Royal Commission into Child Abuse.

        Comment

        • Levi Jones
          Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
          Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
          Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
           
          • Jul 2009
          • 13930

          #5
          Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

          I hear at night he can be found in the sewers of the Vatican looking for souvenirs. He is that big of a fan of Pope Francis.
          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

          Comment

          • Zechariah Smyth
            Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
            True Christian™
            • Feb 2011
            • 15251

            #6
            Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

            Someone told me he drives a 1968 Buick Wildcat covered in doll heads.

            Weirdo.

            sigpic

            Comment

            • Mother Of Seven
              True Christian™ with a quiverful
              • Jan 2014
              • 2243

              #7
              Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
              Someone told me he drives a 1968 Buick Wildcat covered in doll heads.

              Weirdo.

              I hope that's not one doll head for every choir boy conquest

              Comment

              • Talitha
                Deaconess
                Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                True Christian™
                • Jun 2026
                • 15118

                #8
                Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                He sells condoms to Africa.
                His communion wine is real blood.
                He has a boyfriend called Freddy.
                He tapes all the confessions and sells them on Ebay.

                Sister Talitha

                Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                Comment

                • Attila's Wife
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Jul 2013
                  • 1941

                  #9
                  Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                  Someone I know saw him headbutt a cardinal in Rome, for accusing him of being a closet heterosexual.
                  2 Timothy 3:16

                  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22379

                    #10
                    Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                    I heard he is the pope's personal choirboy.
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                    Comment

                    • Wide-Open
                      Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                      A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                      Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2007
                      • 18449

                      #11
                      Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                      Rumour has it that he has longer nails than Cleopatra.
                      Psalm 81:10:
                      I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                      open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                      Comment

                      • Pim Pendergast
                        PHD - Theophysicist
                        Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
                        True Christian™
                        • Jun 2012
                        • 3103

                        #12
                        Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                        I heard he was the first to "find" Pope John Paul I's body.
                        sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

                        Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

                        Comment

                        • Daisy Mae Johnson
                          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15708

                          #13
                          Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                          I've heard he has impregnated several nuns and they in turn suffocated the babies and hid their dead bodies under the church.
                          sigpic

                          Tweet me Here
                          My GODLY Bio Here

                          Comment

                          • Attila's Wife
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Jul 2013
                            • 1941

                            #14
                            Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                            Even the pope is asking where he gets his money from.
                            2 Timothy 3:16

                            All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


                            Comment

                            • Didymus Much
                              Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 14079

                              #15
                              Re: Rumors you have heard about Maurice Lester?

                              "...Blood-stained money, blood-stained power, you can't bring it with you to your next life. Repent. There's still time to not end up in hell, which is what awaits you if you continue on this path..."
                              Oh, that's piffling rich!

                              Comment

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