Why I don't drink water

[Jim Farmer]

Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.

All things that The One True God creates are pure:
Ac:10:10: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance,
Ac:10:11: And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth:
Ac:10:12: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.
Ac:10:13: And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.
Ac:10:14: But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean.
Ac:10:15: And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.

The sniveling, false god, Allan, makes things that nobody can eat.

On the subject of water, in a baptism, water washes away the sins, it is therefore unwise to drink that water - all other water is OK.

Case closed.

[Nobar King]

Re: Why I don't drink water

I can do without water but what about ice? I don't think I could let that go.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Why I don't drink water

I myself never drink water.

Fish fornicate in it.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.

I think I have something just for you:

http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/11/18/...lets-fosizzle/

Thirsty? How About A Side of Bacon Water? Just Add These Bacon Drink Tablets, Fo’Sizzle!


Have you ever longed for a cool refreshing glass of bacon flavored water? Well wait no longer.



First the Happy Meal is banned in San Francisco and now you can order a pork soda pop, has the world gone mad? Introducing Effervescent Bacon Drink Tablets, a cunning combination of pork, carbonation and good old-fashioned H2O, allowing us to literally make pigs of ourselves. Just place your order online at $3.50 a pop and soon a tin containing 15 small white round discs will be discreetly pushed through your letterbox. (Check out Smoky Sour – Recipes: Meat-Based Cocktails.)


If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor.




But why limit yourself to water. These Effervescent Drink Tablets work just as well in milk, juice or soda. If this sizzling bacon drink doesn’t tickle your taste buds why not try the makers latest addition the Effervescent Cupcake Drink Tablets. The perfect stocking stuffer for the meat lover in your life and ideal for those with no time to eat in the mornings. (Read more in TIMES 5 Recipes for Bacon Desserts.)

Maybe we should put the tablets in alcohol too, cause alcohol is still kosher without pork

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Wonderful. I'll order some right away.
I suppose I could mix them with some poor quality alcoholic drinks, but I could never taint my single malts, nor my fine shiraz with bacon, much as I love bacon.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Why I don't drink water

When my wife cooks beef, chicken or lamb for me, I always tell her to put some pork broth into the mix, you know, just to be on the safe side.

[Check Mate]

Re: Why I don't drink water

I can do without water but what about ice? I don't think I could let that go.

Life hack of the day: Feeling hot? Hold an ice cube in your mouth. The ice will melt and cool you off.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Life hack of the day: Feeling hot? Hold an ice cube in your mouth. The ice will melt and cool you off.

Not by much numb skull. Melting an ice cube in your mouth is equivalent to about 9 BTU - the human body produces well over 300 BTU.

If Jesus had meant to have us cooled by sucking on ice cubes He would have mentioned it in the Bible (KJV1611). Why don't you science absorbed global warming hoax denier wimps go and calculate how many ice cubes it would take to stop global warming.

[Charlemagne]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Water is a healthy and invigorating drink, so it has been proven by the monks of Saint Gall. For they have lived on a diet of fresh creek water, with Mead on Sunday. But it must not be contaminated:

"A wounded stag touched by a wolf, dog, bear or fox was not to be eaten; if a chicken drowned in a well, it was to be emptied; if certain small animals fell in a barrel without dying, the wine had to be purified with holy water; if the animal died, it could not be drunk at all; oil or honey contaminated by an animal could be used for lighting or medicine; a dead fish in a fish pool was not to be eaten; pigs and hens which had touched a human cadaver were to be thrown to the dogs and not eaten or used to breed, but a fish in the same case could be so used."

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Water is a healthy and invigorating drink, so it has been proven by the monks of Saint Gall.

It's not quenching their thirst in Hell!



<--- Catholics

<--- Psalm 2:4

[The new guy]

Re: Why I don't drink water

Not by much numb skull. Melting an ice cube in your mouth is equivalent to about 9 BTU - the human body produces well over 300 BTU.

If Jesus had meant to have us cooled by sucking on ice cubes He would have mentioned it in the Bible (KJV1611). Why don't you science absorbed global warming hoax denier wimps go and calculate how many ice cubes it would take to stop global warming.

I did the math. The result? More water than there is on Earth.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Why I don't drink water

I did the math...

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Why I don't drink water

I did the math. The result? More water than there is on Earth.

More of what Rush Limbaugh calls the low information voter.

The mass of the earth's atmosphere is estimated to be 5.3 × 10^18 kg, and the volume of the earth's water is estimated to be 1,386,000,000 cubic kilometers (with the mass of the oceans estimated to be 1.384 × 10^21 kg). The water phase change energy of ice is 80 cal/gm, and of steam is 540 cal/gm. Let's see your calculations - Jesus may be coming back before all the water is gone.