[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Would use of the Malleus Maleficarum be useful in this instance?

He's speaking that gobbledy-gook language of Latin! He's looking more Catholic all the time!

[JennyD]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Help me TRUE BELIEVERS!
The time is nearly upon us once again! Little Jeremiah was bornd last month (lucky number 28!) and my fellow soldier in battle against the unrighteous is about to be visited by SATAN'S monthly torment again. Now as we goodly Christian men know, that to prevent an abortion of a possible child as some would have us believe is just a natural part of being a sin filled temptress, is to get her with child once again. However, it is becoming more difficult with each addition to God's Holy Army to do my manly deed. To remind ourselves that what we do is FOR THE LORD!! and not ourselves, I decided (yes, my law is just under HIS in my house) that she would from now on wear a pillowcase as we fulfill our work. Here is the problem, my pillowcase has Loving Sinner-crushing Jesus embroidered upon it, while hers has ever Virginal Mother Mary. Which should I use? If I use the Jesus pillowcase, it would be like commitin' unGODly homo act as I stare into HIS eyes. If I use the the Mary pillowcase I would be destroying her virginal purity as I plow with MY Holy Cross. Which should I use? We must use either one as I must remind myself that in committin' this ORIGINAL SIN, I do so for the Lord and not because of her ever diminished Jezebel temptations. PRAISE JESUS!! Yours in Christ, Thumpin' Brother Will

Have you considered becoming a Eunuch for Christ?

Self-castration would resolve all this difficulty. God would no longer expect you to father more Soldiers for Christ, and you wouldn't be able to anyway.

I'd be willing to bet your wife would be willing to handle the meat cleaver for you . . . at least, she would if she's any kind of Christian.

[Talitha]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Have you considered becoming a Eunuch for Christ?

Self-castration would resolve all this difficulty. God would no longer expect you to father more Soldiers for Christ, and you wouldn't be able to anyway.

I'd be willing to bet your wife would be willing to handle the meat cleaver for you . . . at least, she would if she's any kind of Christian.

It's nice to see our True Christian™ Sister offering such valuable and compassionate advice.
I'd like to add that personally I find Meat Cleavers a bit messy.
Kind of hit and miss if you will and sometimes you might need 3 or 4 go's, and we all know what Blood is like to get out of your clothes don't we Jenny?
Jeffers Livestock do their patented Castrating Knife for only $16.95. (A Snip)
Real quick and easy

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Which pillowcase?

[...] Little Jeremiah was bornd last month (lucky number 28!) [...]my pillowcase has Loving Sinner-crushing Jesus embroidered upon it, while hers has ever Virginal Mother Mary.[...]

Images of Mary!!! I smell the stench of the antichrist!

Lucky Number!!! Neither the word “Luck” nor “Lucky” appear anywhere in The Bible!

Sir, there is no luck within Christendom. All is free will or the Will of God. “Luck” is a pagan issue!


Paganism, images of Mary and the antichrist are all satanic bed fellows!

[Thumpin'BrotherWill]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
PRAISE JESUS!!!! TRUE BELIEVERS, my conundrum has been solved once again by God's Holy WORD!!
yours in Christ Thumpin' Brother Will

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
PRAISE JESUS!!!! TRUE BELIEVERS, my conundrum has been solved once again by God's Holy WORD!!
yours in Christ Thumpin' Brother Will

Are you newlyweds, with 28 children?

I'm sorry, Will, but you must find uncleanness in her to divorce her. "Discovering" such uncleanness 30 years after marriage is not going to cut it!

No, I think the castration option the ladies have been suggesting is the way for you to go. Clean, quick, and it will guarantee that you not be tempted by any female again.

[Thumpin'BrotherWill]

Re: Which pillowcase?

Knowledge of witchcraft does not count as unclean? Although now that a fellow man has suggested a solution I shall take it to heart!!
Mathew 18:8-9 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
9And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
Off with my Holy Cross! and to protect mine own I shall remove my sons' as well! The Lord is GOOD!
Praise Jesus! Yours in Christ Thumpin' Brother Will