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  • #1

    Help! We're Being Flooded!

    I'm sure I'm not the only person who has noticed the great increase in newbies. They leave short and insignificant posts about the most stupid things (like NASCAR, etc.) and they harass members and they're multiplying! They're trying to flood the server, I just know it! They need to be sprayed with pesticide... or... smacked with a rolled up newspaper, or something! Somebody throw a Bible at them - aim for their head! What's going to be done about these trouble-makers, these horrid little creatures, these... these... teeny-boppers!? *Hyperventilates* Can't. Stand. The. Pre-pubescent nonsense! *Trembles* They're out to get you! They're trying to take over!!! *Rocks back and forth* Somebody help... *Faints*
    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

    Have no fear, you of little faith.
    The Lord will protect His own.

    Nor do we to fear these maggots that crawled out of some demons intestines.
    You should concentrate on getting Saved, if you want your stay here to be a pleasant one.
    Since Jesus could decide to kill you ANY SECOND, you better get Saved as soon as possible.
    If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
    A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
    Proverbs 9:12-13

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

      Originally posted by Undecided View Post
      I'm sure I'm not the only person who has noticed the great increase in newbies. They leave short and insignificant posts about the most stupid things (like NASCAR, etc.) and they harass members and they're multiplying! They're trying to flood the server, I just know it! They need to be sprayed with pesticide... or... smacked with a rolled up newspaper, or something! Somebody throw a Bible at them - aim for their head! What's going to be done about these trouble-makers, these horrid little creatures, these... these... teeny-boppers!? *Hyperventilates* Can't. Stand. The. Pre-pubescent nonsense! *Trembles* They're out to get you! They're trying to take over!!! *Rocks back and forth* Somebody help... *Faints*
      If you want to help then SNAP OUT OF YOUR SISSY FAINTING SPELL and get on your knees! Open your mouth and accept the love of Jesus NOWNOWNOW! Pray HARD to Him and BEG Him to accept you and take over your miserable life. Become a warrior for Christ instead of a simpering nancyboy.

      Lastly, hit the Paypal button below and send Jesus a robust love offering. Your Salvation© will be assured.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

        So I see your staying true to your surrendor monkey French-Canadian heratige Undecided.

        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

        Hot Must ReadThreads!


        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          SNAP OUT OF YOUR SISSY FAINTING SPELL and get on your knees! Open your mouth and accept the love of Jesus NOWNOWNOW!
          Good God Brother, what can you expect from a French-speaking Canuckustani woman?
          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

            *Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p
            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Become a warrior for Christ instead of a simpering nancyboy.
            I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!


            And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
            This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

              Originally posted by Undecided View Post
              And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
              What? Is it spelled wrong? "Canuckistan". Is that better?
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                *Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p

                I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!


                And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
                HA! I have one of those too...come to think of it...I also have the OTHER piece of "reproductive equipment"...

                Now, let's do the TIME WARP again! It's astounding...it's amazing...MADNESS takes it toll...................
                "I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

                "Don't dream it...BE IT!"

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                  Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                  HA! I have one of those too...come to think of it...I also have the OTHER piece of "reproductive equipment"...

                  Now, let's do the TIME WARP again! It's astounding...it's amazing...MADNESS takes it toll...................
                  Why aren't you dead yet, you homer?!?!?!? BOBBY-JOE, BOBBY-JOE!!!!!!
                  Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                  "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                  Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                    What? Is it spelled wrong? "Canuckistan". Is that better?
                    I just don't understand... It doesn't make sense... "Canuck", okay; "Canadian", perfect; but "Canukistan", where does that come from??

                    Oh, and Twink, dear, you're wet... Perhaps you bettter both*.... Come inside....


                    *: referring to the extra organ
                    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                      Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                      *Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p

                      I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!

                      Sorry, I assumed that you were a queer, judging from that faggy photo you have in your signature. And the faggy way you talk. I guess that's just normal in faggy Cannukistan.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                        It's actually spelled C-A-N-A-D-A. Does that help? Now don't you insult me any more or I'll spread the result of my womanly curse all over your face and contaminate you with the sinfulness of my womb! I HAVE UTERINE BLOOD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!




                        Actually that's not really very true.... I don't do "that" any more... Not since it started eating itself; good heavens does that ever hurt!!
                        This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                          In my part of the country these people are called "Frostbacks". They typically are always on the verge of civil war (Parti Québécois), play too much hockey, drink beer, and end their sentences with "eh?". Projecting precious bodily fluids is a new pastime I am not familiar with.
                          Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                          brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                          ...and get off my lawn
                          sigpic

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                            Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                            It's actually spelled C-A-N-A-D-A. Does that help? Now don't you insult me any more or I'll spread the result of my womanly curse all over your face and contaminate you with the sinfulness of my womb! I HAVE UTERINE BLOOD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!




                            Actually that's not really very true.... I don't do "that" any more... Not since it started eating itself; good heavens does that ever hurt!!

                            Hmm, I wonder if Zeke has a similar effect on a lot of women. If so, that must be why he always hides behind his bible.
                            sigpic
                            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Help! We're Being Flooded!

                              Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                              Why aren't you dead yet, you homer?!?!?!? BOBBY-JOE, BOBBY-JOE!!!!!!
                              I'm praying that the Lord SMITE him GOOD, Brother Al. It's just a matter of time.

                              PRAISE THE LORD!!
                              Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!

                              "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15

                              "Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"

                              Comment

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