[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

lol, ok this is getting old! Don't you get sick of this divine revelation? I know you must be a cool pastor in real life!

Are you trying to seduce me into committing sodomy with you, mister? Because that is the most unlikely thing I can imagine.

Wait a second....Are you masturbating right now? In this thread? That's disgusting!

[Atheist are evil]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

lol, ok this is getting old! Don't you get sick of this divine revelation? I know you must be a cool pastor in real life!

Don't you dare talk to Pastor Ezekiel in that rude way, you sinner

He's a great man, and a loyal servant of God.

I can't stop thanking the Bapthist Church for saving us, latinos from the claws of catholicism, so SHOW SOME RESPECT!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Very intelligent comeback pastor! I've never owned a gun in my life. You people must be from Waco, Texas.

As a matter of fact, I am from Wacko, Texas, and proud of it!

Down here in God's country, we don't take to people "pleasuring themselves" - it's a sin. If you've been doing that, your only hope to escape from burning in Hell is to accept Jesus as your personal savior, and ask Him for forgiveness. That is one of the great things about being a Christian - you can be born again and wash away your sins.

Back when I lived in El Paso on the Mexican border, I used to go down to Juarez every weekend for some "recreation," if you know what I mean. Fortunately, there was a Baptist church in El Paso just 3 blocks from the border crossing. It was real convenient - I'd have myself a weekend of fun, and then drop by the church to drop a few dollars into the collection plate, repent, and get forgiven by The Lord. I reckon that He forgave me over 100 times. In fact, I was such a regular customer in that church that eventually they let me charge my donations to my Visa card.

So there is hope for you, but only if you accept Jesus.

Praise the Lord,
Brother Buford

[sopro!]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

rman masterbation is not noermal its a Sin Read the Bible God Killed a man named Onan for spilling his seed on the Ground

if the cristion god was real im pretty sure he woulded kill a guy for jerkin off

[wrongpathtaker]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Every time some one masturbates God kills a kitten, FACT!

[NightshadeLolita]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Most people who masterbate are teenagers. It's called hitting puberty. Would you rather have every teenager who gets horny go out and have sex? The world would be filled with a lot more STDs and pregnant teens.

[Noah Dint]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Most people who masterbate are teenagers. It's called hitting puberty. Would you rather have every teenager who gets horny go out and have sex? The world would be filled with a lot more STDs and pregnant teens.

Please check your facts. Most people that - "do that thing that you are talking about" - are HEATHENS. Age has nothing to do with it.

You ask if we would rather any child that is feeling his/her oats to go out and procreate? Really? Of course not.

Good Christian Parenting(tm) is a skill that is developed by True Christian(tm) parents. With the appropriate guidance to the child there is no need for worry. There are PLENTY of ways to work off that steam that have nothing to do with procreating or self pleasuring.

That is why God insures that by the time the breeding age is at hand that a person has grown up enough to be able to do a significant amount of physical labor to quell such feelings. Do you think it is just one of nature's accidents that a person matures physically at puberty? It is so that they can work off those feelings! They don't even know what it is about - lust is learned and in a proper household they will have no idea of such things.

As a child - boys and girls are the same. They are children. Clean and virginistic without any tainted visions of "those things" you speak of. You can put them in the bathtub together and they could care less about the physical differences. All they care about is where the toys are and if you have any bubble bath handy! Praise God!

Then puberty hits and things change. With females it is different than it is with little boys. There are only two types of cells within the human body that do not reproduce. Brain matter, and breast cells. Look it up. This is medically proven. There is a reason for this.

When girls hit puberty the back of their cerebellum actually begins to decay. The cells slide down the spinal tract and around the rib cage eventually forming breasts. This is why large breasted women have such a challenge with reasoning. Their cerebellum's size has been so diminished that logical thought is no longer an ability. This also accounts for the wild mood swings and basic "thinking like a girl" that occurs.

Anyway, at the point that they mature they have enough of an adult form to begin the labors of cooking, cleaning, and learning to obey. The boys can be put to splitting wood or building fences to redirect their attention.

Parenting is so easy. I don't understand why people have problems with it.

-ND

[Bob4God]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Please check your facts. Most people that - "do that thing that you are talking about" - are HEATHENS. Age has nothing to do with it.

You ask if we would rather any child that is feeling his/her oats to go out and procreate? Really? Of course not.

Good Christian Parenting™ is a skill that is developed by True Christian™ parents. With the appropriate guidance to the child there is no need for worry. There are PLENTY of ways to work off that steam that have nothing to do with procreating or self pleasuring.

That is why God insures that by the time the breeding age is at hand that a person has grown up enough to be able to do a significant amount of physical labor to quell such feelings. Do you think it is just one of nature's accidents that a person matures physically at puberty? It is so that they can work off those feelings! They don't even know what it is about - lust is learned and in a proper household they will have no idea of such things.

As a child - boys and girls are the same. They are children. Clean and virginistic without any tainted visions of "those things" you speak of. You can put them in the bathtub together and they could care less about the physical differences. All they care about is where the toys are and if you have any bubble bath handy! Praise God!

Then puberty hits and things change. With females it is different than it is with little boys. There are only two types of cells within the human body that do not reproduce. Brain matter, and breast cells. Look it up. This is medically proven. There is a reason for this.

When girls hit puberty the back of their cerebellum actually begins to decay. The cells slide down the spinal tract and around the rib cage eventually forming breasts. This is why large breasted women have such a challenge with reasoning. Their cerebellum's size has been so diminished that logical thought is no longer an ability. This also accounts for the wild mood swings and basic "thinking like a girl" that occurs.

Anyway, at the point that they mature they have enough of an adult form to begin the labors of cooking, cleaning, and learning to obey. The boys can be put to splitting wood or building fences to redirect their attention.

Parenting is so easy. I don't understand why people have problems with it.

-ND

This is a most comprehensive and scientific explanation of puberty. REAL SCIENCE is always evidenced by this kind of detailed observation and research, and by the way it backs up Conservative Christianity. GLORY TO GOD!

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Most people who masterbate are teenagers. It's called hitting puberty. Would you rather have every teenager who gets horny go out and have sex? The world would be filled with a lot more STDs and pregnant teens.

Hi Nightshade!

In another one of your posts, you said you were 16. Since according to you, most people who "do themselves" are teens, does that mean you are admitting that you "emm yourself"?

I hope not, cuz that's gross and can turn you into a slut!


Tammi

[Aightletsdothis]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

When girls hit puberty the back of their cerebellum actually begins to decay. The cells slide down the spinal tract and around the rib cage eventually forming breasts. This is why large breasted women have such a challenge with reasoning. Their cerebellum's size has been so diminished that logical thought is no longer an ability. This also accounts for the wild mood swings and basic "thinking like a girl" that occurs.

I do wonder where you read biology. I do wonder who was your teacher. I [b]REALLY] wonder how you make it in life, except ripping off people by teaching lies.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Most people who masterbate are teenagers. It's called hitting puberty.

I've heard M-ing called "spanking the monkey", "greasing the pig", and even "having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters", but never something so depraved as "hitting puberty".

Truly, you are without hope.

[Noah Dint]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

Rev. Rodimer - good morning and praise His Holy Name! Glory!

You sir are one of the greatest inspirations to me! I always learn so much from you. I had no idea that a human's privates were called puberty(s). I have heard the term "pubes" before - obviously the shorter version.

Is this a medical term that I was not aware of? I have heard many times throught my life of teenagers hitting their pubertys. They should be leaving that thing alone! With enough hard work and the right focus kids these days won't have enough free time on their hands to even think of their pubertys.

Last month I had a gym coach in our local high school tell me that my son's anger issue was a result of him hitting his pubertys. I had no idea what he was talking about and simply nodded my head a lot. Praise God that I know now what he was talking about!

I will insure that my son is beaten within an inch of his life for hitting his pubertys. We don't allow that under MY roof.

Thank you so kindly for the enlightenment this fine morning.

-ND

[Bob4God]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

I will insure that my son is beaten within an inch of his life for hitting his pubertys. We don't allow that under MY roof.

Hitting his privates? It sounds quite painful, and I recommend you beat him about the head with a KJV! You might also consider placing his hands on the table and cracking down on them with the edge of a ten-pound Bible.

I've always said that idle hands are the devil's playground, but broken hands are GOD's playground!

The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly. -Proverbs 20:30

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

I've heard M-ing called "spanking the monkey", "greasing the pig", and even "having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters", but never something so depraved as "hitting puberty".

Truly, you are without hope.

Rev. Rodimer - good morning and praise His Holy Name! Glory!

You sir are one of the greatest inspirations to me! I always learn so much from you. I had no idea that a human's privates were called puberty(s). I have heard the term "pubes" before - obviously the shorter version.

Is this a medical term that I was not aware of? I have heard many times throught my life of teenagers hitting their pubertys. They should be leaving that thing alone! With enough hard work and the right focus kids these days won't have enough free time on their hands to even think of their pubertys.

Last month I had a gym coach in our local high school tell me that my son's anger issue was a result of him hitting his pubertys. I had no idea what he was talking about and simply nodded my head a lot. Praise God that I know now what he was talking about!

I will insure that my son is beaten within an inch of his life for hitting his pubertys. We don't allow that under MY roof.

Thank you so kindly for the enlightenment this fine morning.

-ND

I'm confused! I always thought that they called "down there" your privates. Is puberty like another word for privates? That's weird, because public and private are like opposites, but puberty, pubes, and public all have P-U-B in them. And I thought a pub was like a bar, but for Irish people.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What to do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves

I'm confused! I always thought that they called "down there" your privates. Is puberty like another word for privates? That's weird, because public and private are like opposites, but puberty, pubes, and public all have P-U-B in them. And I thought a pub was like a bar, but for Irish people.

Whatever you do, TLSM, do NOT let any Irish people NEAR your . . . DOWN THERE!

The things they do . . .