What material is best for self-flaggelation?

[faithhealer]

I have been beating myself to get closer to our Lord for some time now but am getting worried about the kinds of materials I am using, and whether they are letting SATAN IN! I have been beating with wooden 2x4s, leather straps and, when I am feeling particularly repentant a horse whip. Are these suitable tools? What do you True Christians recommend?

Also is it good practice to do group flagellation? A fellow asked me to do his for him as he felt he could not administer a hard enough punishment. Is this proper punishment in Gods eyes or should I chastise my brother for being weak?

"In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, that is the Church." (Col 1:24)

Praise JESUS!

[Levi Jones]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

The cat o' nine tails is the classic standard.

[handmaiden]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

To be honest, I have always felt that those who insist on self-flaggelation are suggesting that Jesus did not do a sufficient job of suffering for us.

Our own bleeding backs cannot sanctify anyone. Why should we try to take the focus off Jesus?

People who flog themselves are just saying "Look at me! Look at me!" instead of encouraging others to look at Jesus.

For those who sincerely wish to emulate Jesus without stealing His thunder, I recommend a life of celibacy and carpentry. Hanging out with 12 or so buddies and a simple diet of unleavened bread and wine would be okay as well.


Suggestingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

My husband Billy Bob has found that he can save time by having me beat myself with a variety of common household items, including hammers, ladels, and other tools. This way he doesn't have to spend all his free time beating me, when I really haven't sinned anyway. (We practice preventive beating.)

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

Well, before I was saved, really anything would do, but I have absolutely not masturbated since the Lord found me.

[James Dewitt]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

Well, before I was saved, really anything would do, but I have absolutely not masturbated since the Lord found me.

Flaggelation is not the same thing a masturbation. And I always thought that was a Catlik thing.

[faithhealer]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

On a personal level, I find myself closer to Jesus after a good beating. I am planning a public stoning on the streets of Middlesbrough this Christmas to celebrate His birth and to atone for yet more sins. I encourage any British True Christians to volunteer for the process, or at least bring so rocks to hurl!

[Talitha]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

On a personal level, I find myself closer to Jesus after a good beating. I am planning a public stoning on the streets of Middlesbrough this Christmas to celebrate His birth and to atone for yet more sins. I encourage any British True Christians to volunteer for the process, or at least bring so rocks to hurl!

Are you catholic?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

On a personal level, I find myself closer to Jesus after a good beating. I am planning a public stoning on the streets of Middlesbrough this Christmas to celebrate His birth and to atone for yet more sins. I encourage any British True Christians to volunteer for the process, or at least bring so rocks to hurl!

I think that's a wonderful idea!

If I were in the UK, I would be happy to bring some rocks and help stone you to death you meet Jesus.

[handmaiden]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

On a personal level, I find myself closer to Jesus after a good beating. I am planning a public stoning on the streets of Middlesbrough this Christmas to celebrate His birth and to atone for yet more sins. I encourage any British True Christians to volunteer for the process, or at least bring so rocks to hurl!

Stoning has been proscribed by our merciful Lord God to PUNISH sins. Atonement comes only through the cleansing blood of our Lord Jesus.

Jesus paid the blood penalty of our sins so that we, True Christians, need not suffer the pain of being stoned in this life, and being burned alive forever and ever in the next.

Jesus was crucified to death, not stoned. Stoning is the ways Jews handled capital crimes. The Romans came up with Crucifixion.

Because the words, "stone" and "atone" share the same internal vowel sound, I can understand that you may have been confused. However, you are not permitted to make that same mistake again.

You can not stone yourself to make God happy. He will never forgive you any sins no matter how hard you may punish yourself nor how many injuries you may self inflict.

Jesus' blood is the only type sinless enough to pass God's purity test.

So, in summation. Please stop stoning yourself. It does not impress God and makes a hard to clean mess for afterwards. Accept the blood of Christ and never have to clean again!

True Christians stone other people, not themselves.


Stonily Yours,

Handmaiden

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: What material is best for self-flaggelation?

I don't know about getting you closer to God, but keeping one of these babies in the interrogation room down at HQ gets criminals closer to confession: