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Default 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-28-2011, 10:55 PM

The batteries in my flashlight died today, and I decided to simply drop by the local dollar store to pick up some new ones, and case the joint for suspicious folks and sinners.

I wandered around the store for several minutes but couldn't find the batteries, so I went up to one of the checkout lanes and barked into the intercom, "ATTENTION EVERYONE, AN OFFICER OF THE LAW NEEDS BATTERIES. PLEASE SHOW THE OFFICER OF THE LAW WHERE THE BATTERIES ARE LOCATED."

In no time at all a clerk appeared and escorted me to the battery selection.

No sooner had I found the batteries I needed that I heard a blood-curdling sound a few aisles over.

It was the sound of a crying child who was becoming rapidly upset.

Well that kind of thing just really irks me, so I investigated for the source of the problem.

I rounded the corner into the toy aisle, and sure enough, there was some dumpy looking mother telling her squawking brat that she couldn't have whatever perverted toy she was shrieking for.

But the root of the problem was not a dolly.

The problem here was that the child had never been taught the dangers of a soulcrime like coveting.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. - Exodus 20:17

I couldn't stand idly by and let this little hussy break God's laws.

I stood over the little girl and looked down at her.

"Okay ma'am, that's enough out of you. If you don't apologize to God for coveting and disobeying your parents, I am going to have to issue a citation to your mother for being such a lousy parent."

I wasn't getting through, she just stared at me and kept crying.

This was an excellent time for an object lesson.

I bent down on one knee and looked her right in the eye.

"Do you know what HELL is, little girl? DO YOU KNOW THAT THE LORD JESUS HAS SENT MILLIONS OF LITTLE TURDS LIKE YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL FOR DISOBEYING THEIR PARENTS?"

She started to cry harder, in open defiance of my commands.

I drew my pepper spray and gave her a good shot in the face with it.

She began shrieking even louder and rolling around on the ground.

"DID THAT FEEL GOOD? CAN YOU IMAGINE FEELING A PAIN EVEN WORSE THAN THAT ALL OVER YOUR BODY FOR ALL OF ETERNITY? CAN YOU?"

At this point her mother had lost all sense of proportion and was trying to pull her child away from me, so I had to handcuff her to a display rack of dollies that wet their pants when you squeeze them.

I looked her mother right in the eye and reminded her that if she had followed God's instructions to beat children into submission with various types of sticks and blunt objects, none of this would be happening.

A crowd was starting to gather, including some other children of varying ages.

Rather than disperse them immediately, I took the opportunity to preach to them.

As I took out my pocket Bible, I noticed I was standing right next to a store intercom, so I picked up the mouthpiece and turned to the book of James:

"ATTENTION, SHOPPERS:

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. - James 1:14-15"

This little girl's lust for a dress-up, singing Justin Bieber doll had wrought grief, pain and embarrassment for everybody involved.

When it was all said and done I decided to show some Christian compassion and let them both go with a written warning about coveting, obedience, and disturbing the peace.

Hopefully the children and their parents in that store learned something about the importance of obeying the laws of God today.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-28-2011, 11:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
No sooner had I found the batteries I needed that I heard a blood-curdling sound a few aisles over.

It was the sound of a crying child who was becoming rapidly upset.
It was Shane! I Know™ it was! Acting Up and Acting Out just because he couldn't have all the batteries in the whole God-Damned store!

And I shudder to imagine what he would have used them for, too
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-29-2011, 12:50 AM

God bless you, Officer Richards.

Your report should be a warning to anyone in Freehold:

1. The Ten Commandments are our law.

2. We live by the Bible.

If there are people who do not like the rules of Freehold, we suggest you leave.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-29-2011, 01:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
... terrible criminal story
I'd just like to say thanks for demonstrating Christ's comapassion and only using pepper spray on the little brat instead of a roundhouse kick to the face.

That should keep those commie lieberals off our backs for awhile.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-29-2011, 02:13 AM

@Ofc. Don W. Richards What wonderful opportunities must arise in your job! It is so reasurring to know that you follow them up with His word. Matthew 18:20
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-29-2011, 06:50 AM

You highlight the perils of shirking your parental duty to rightly fill your children with the terror of both divine and earthly retribution so powerfully with the beautiful parable, Officer.

That brat will think twice before whining, coveting and disobeying in future and will trot up to you in Heaven and thank you for your kind administration of God's love that guided her onto the strait path.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

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Smile Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 09-29-2011, 12:00 PM

If only the police where I live were as amazing as you at sorting out kids.

I would of had to put up with it.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 12:43 PM

Lol, like this story.


You guys are crazy! you've got a good imagination to think these up, every story makes me think...is it true?......nah can't be......

Hehe, the world has many different people, you guys are certainly different.


I can't believe you can pepper spray a 6 year old and get away with it lol.


Keep up the good work!


Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 05:00 PM

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Originally Posted by dicker View Post
Lol, like this story.


You guys are crazy! you've got a good imagination to think these up, every story makes me think...is it true?......nah can't be......

Hehe, the world has many different people, you guys are certainly different.


I can't believe you can pepper spray a 6 year old and get away with it lol.


Keep up the good work!
He is an Officer of the Law. Who's going to stop him? Some kind of super-police who police the police? Hippies? I don't think so.


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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 05:07 PM

God must have approved because He didn't stop it happening.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 06:24 PM

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Originally Posted by dicker View Post
I can't believe you can pepper spray a 6 year old and get away with it lol.
Pepperspray's effect only last for four hours. After that, it's her word against the word of an Officer of the Law, and frankly, what kind of jury would take the word of such an obvious whore over that of a well respected officer of the law?


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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 10:18 PM

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Originally Posted by dicker View Post
I can't believe you can pepper spray a 6 year old and get away with it lol.
She was 7. Please pay attention, silly boy.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 10:27 PM

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Originally Posted by Thomas Dalton View Post
Pepperspray's effect only last for four hours. After that, it's her word against the word of an Officer of the Law, and frankly, what kind of jury would take the word of such an obvious whore over that of a well respected officer of the law?
Amen Brother Dalton – Officer Richards upheld long standing traditions and the well deserved title of Peace Officer. The public should not have to suffer unruly children whose parents have abrogated their responsibility to discipline them.

Praise Jesus!


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Jetisr Jetisr is offline
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 10:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
The batteries in my flashlight died today, and I decided to simply drop by the local dollar store to pick up some new ones, and case the joint for suspicious folks and sinners.

I wandered around the store for several minutes but couldn't find the batteries, so I went up to one of the checkout lanes and barked into the intercom, "ATTENTION EVERYONE, AN OFFICER OF THE LAW NEEDS BATTERIES. PLEASE SHOW THE OFFICER OF THE LAW WHERE THE BATTERIES ARE LOCATED."

In no time at all a clerk appeared and escorted me to the battery selection.

No sooner had I found the batteries I needed that I heard a blood-curdling sound a few aisles over.

It was the sound of a crying child who was becoming rapidly upset.

Well that kind of thing just really irks me, so I investigated for the source of the problem.

I rounded the corner into the toy aisle, and sure enough, there was some dumpy looking mother telling her squawking brat that she couldn't have whatever perverted toy she was shrieking for.

But the root of the problem was not a dolly.

The problem here was that the child had never been taught the dangers of a soulcrime like coveting.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. - Exodus 20:17

I couldn't stand idly by and let this little hussy break God's laws.

I stood over the little girl and looked down at her.

"Okay ma'am, that's enough out of you. If you don't apologize to God for coveting and disobeying your parents, I am going to have to issue a citation to your mother for being such a lousy parent."

I wasn't getting through, she just stared at me and kept crying.

This was an excellent time for an object lesson.

I bent down on one knee and looked her right in the eye.

"Do you know what HELL is, little girl? DO YOU KNOW THAT THE LORD JESUS HAS SENT MILLIONS OF LITTLE TURDS LIKE YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL FOR DISOBEYING THEIR PARENTS?"

She started to cry harder, in open defiance of my commands.

I drew my pepper spray and gave her a good shot in the face with it.

She began shrieking even louder and rolling around on the ground.

"DID THAT FEEL GOOD? CAN YOU IMAGINE FEELING A PAIN EVEN WORSE THAN THAT ALL OVER YOUR BODY FOR ALL OF ETERNITY? CAN YOU?"

At this point her mother had lost all sense of proportion and was trying to pull her child away from me, so I had to handcuff her to a display rack of dollies that wet their pants when you squeeze them.

I looked her mother right in the eye and reminded her that if she had followed God's instructions to beat children into submission with various types of sticks and blunt objects, none of this would be happening.

A crowd was starting to gather, including some other children of varying ages.

Rather than disperse them immediately, I took the opportunity to preach to them.

As I took out my pocket Bible, I noticed I was standing right next to a store intercom, so I picked up the mouthpiece and turned to the book of James:

"ATTENTION, SHOPPERS:

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. - James 1:14-15"

This little girl's lust for a dress-up, singing Justin Bieber doll had wrought grief, pain and embarrassment for everybody involved.

When it was all said and done I decided to show some Christian compassion and let them both go with a written warning about coveting, obedience, and disturbing the peace.

Hopefully the children and their parents in that store learned something about the importance of obeying the laws of God today.
You are one fine officer and Christian
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Jetisr Jetisr is offline
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Jetisr is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Jetisr is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Jetisr is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 10:44 PM

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Originally Posted by Jetisr View Post
You are one fine officer and Christian
-.- That is not what I wrote. This just shows how stupid you all are. You feel threatened because I spoke my opinion? He is a sick bastard.
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jetisr View Post
-.- That is not what I wrote. This just shows how stupid you all are.
The evidence suggests otherwise. It's not your problem if you're too mashed up on the drug crystals to type straight. Maybe next time you'll think twice about bombing so much white powder before you attempt to communicate with the Lord's followers.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Mary-Yves Lapierre Mary-Yves Lapierre is offline
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 11:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Jetisr View Post
You are one fine officer and Christian
He is! And so handsome! I adore a man in uniform!
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 11:10 PM

I've noticed the unsaved trash deny their very words a few times now. It's like they have no real control over themselves. Small wonder they can't string a thought onto another.

That girl will be telling the anecdote about that day in her life for many years to come and may one day pass it on to her children just what true Christian love is. This is the real legacy of unashamed witnessing and stern rebuking. Even though that girl's mother was failing her with her lack of beatings that little vision of Hell will be enough to get a genuine image of the Lord into her poor spoiled brat brain.

GLORY!
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Ofc. Don W. Richards Ofc. Don W. Richards is offline
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-02-2012, 11:48 PM

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Originally Posted by Jetisr View Post
You are one fine officer and Christian

Thank you, son.

It's the words of grateful civilians like these that make my job worthwhile.
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VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
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Default Re: 7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way - 01-03-2012, 12:04 AM

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Originally Posted by Mary-Yves Lapierre View Post
He is! And so handsome! I adore a man in uniform!
You're absolutely right.

He's also a happily married man.


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