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Am I Enjoying My Beatings Too Much?
So, in preparation for my role as a True Christian™ wife one day, I have sought for and found a good Christian man who, although married, has graciously agreed to help instruct me as to what is required of a married woman and beat me for my transgressions. We have decided that once a week while his wife is playing bridge with her friends I would go over to his house, tell him how I have failed in being a good Christian woman, and receive a good thrashing to help correct me. He only charges $100 a session for this service, and we make sure to follow all Biblical advice for this:
"But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." 1 Corinthians 9:27
"He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach." Lamentations 3:29-30
"But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." Hebrews 12:8-11
"And if they be bound in fetters, and be holden in cords of affliction; Then he sheweth them their work, and their transgressions that they have exceeded. He openeth also their ear to discipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity. If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures." Job 36:8-11
He also asks me to wear leather to the beating sessions, to better remember this verse:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." Genesis 1:26
Now, these beating sessions have been great so far! They've really helped me learn what it will mean to submit myself to my future husband, but lately I've been worrying that I am enjoying them too much. In fact, I even caught myself thinking about lying and making up transgressions just so I could be beaten more harshly. Of course I confessed this and was punished for it, but it makes me worry that Satan is trying to get me to get some sort of unholy enjoyment out of it, rather than the grim satisfaction in learning how better to serve the Lord that I crave.
What should I do?
"But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." 1 Corinthians 9:27
"He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach." Lamentations 3:29-30
"But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." Hebrews 12:8-11
"And if they be bound in fetters, and be holden in cords of affliction; Then he sheweth them their work, and their transgressions that they have exceeded. He openeth also their ear to discipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity. If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures." Job 36:8-11
He also asks me to wear leather to the beating sessions, to better remember this verse:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." Genesis 1:26
Now, these beating sessions have been great so far! They've really helped me learn what it will mean to submit myself to my future husband, but lately I've been worrying that I am enjoying them too much. In fact, I even caught myself thinking about lying and making up transgressions just so I could be beaten more harshly. Of course I confessed this and was punished for it, but it makes me worry that Satan is trying to get me to get some sort of unholy enjoyment out of it, rather than the grim satisfaction in learning how better to serve the Lord that I crave.
What should I do?
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
. I cannot say it was a dissatisfying experience, on the contrary, but I do feel she is being far too harsh on herself.
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