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  • Lonesome me

    Well, things in my ex-church in my hometown of Kenilworth, IL did not turn out as I'd hoped. Wheels are in motion here to move my law practice to Des Moines where I will visit two weeks from now on rather unpleasant business and some not-so-unpleasant business.

    At any rate, without going into too many details, I will soon reside in Des Moines, likely by January 1, and the home I'm expecting to purchase (it's not for sale, but I'm confident that will change soon) in the "Westwood" neighborhood will be a bit larger than a single man can maintain and live in alone. I hope to be blessed with the companionship of a good Christian woman who knows her way around a spacious and newly renovated state-of-the-art kitchen with Cambria quartz counter tops and Wolf/Sub Zero appliances, who would love a 3/4-acre garden with a climate-controlled greenhouse, a stable for four horses, who understands the difference between a house and a home, and for whom the cleanliness of a modest, 5,100 square foot home and barn with five full bathrooms is indeed a reflection of the Godliness of her husband, and therefore of herself. I'll be in town the week of Helloween and will be residing at the Downtown Marriott for the week. There are two restaurants there, both highly rated, and I would welcome the opportunity to meet with a woman of appropriate countenance in that setting, that we might have dinner, perhaps some spirits, and some talk. After dinner, we can repair to the common lounge area adjacent to the skywalk, overlooking the city lights, and share some favorite verses from my Bible before you depart for the evening by taxi, which I will happily fund on your behalf. If it is God's will, we may meet again and a tour of my residence should be possible by Thankgiving, with a chaperone, of course. I will only entertain replies via this forum. Please be sure to include a recent high-definition photo of yourself, appropriately attired.

  • #2
    Re: Lonesome me

    Mrs. Darrow from Chicago, I didn't carefully read your post but I would be delighted to make your acquaintance. My only stipulation would be that we meet in France. Of course, this is for purely romantic reasons! Think of the history, the culture, the flowers, or whatever they have here. In time, we could work out details such as getting myself a passport in your name and so on, nothing important for you to worry about.
    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Lonesome me

      Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
      ...My only stipulation would be that we meet in France...
      You're still on the no-fly list?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Lonesome me

        That person’s a female? No....his post states he’s a man if you read carefully. Mister Toole is asking a man on a date to Paris? Sorry, it’s not my place to ask about passport reasons. Gonna pretend I didn’t read that part like a good Christian female <3.
        My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Lonesome me

          Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
          Mrs. Darrow from Chicago, I didn't carefully read your post but I would be delighted to make your acquaintance. My only stipulation would be that we meet in France. Of course, this is for purely romantic reasons! Think of the history, the culture, the flowers, or whatever they have here. In time, we could work out details such as getting myself a passport in your name and so on, nothing important for you to worry about.
          Oh, how I am so sure that you will make such a lovely couple, dear Dr. Toole. Please keep me updated as to when I should begin baking your wedding cake.

          A blessed day to you, Dear,
          Sincerely, Isabella W.
          (Mrs.) Isabella White

          Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Lonesome me

            Sister Isabella, I am confused. Aren’t Darrow and Mister Toole both men? How can they be married?
            My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Lonesome me

              Originally posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
              Sister Isabella, I am confused. Aren’t Darrow and Mister Toole both men? How can they be married?
              OH! WAIT! Mrs. Darrow is a man? Then who has been replying to my love messages on PM... And who's been drinking all my scotch lately?
              If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Lonesome me

                Originally posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
                Sister Isabella, I am confused. Aren’t Darrow and Mister Toole both men? How can they be married?
                My, you are quite observant, dear Sister Maxine. I know it will be only a matter of time before Mr. Darrow catches the joke, too.

                Now, then, how are you getting on with your needlepoint?

                A blessed day to you, Dear,
                Sincerely, Isabella W.
                (Mrs.) Isabella White

                Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Lonesome me





                  Not Godly to steal other peoples identities.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Lonesome me

                    Originally posted by JenNettles
                    Monsieur Darrow
                    Watch your language. Mr. Darrow is not some kind of frog-munching Frenchie.
                    God created fossils to test our faith.

                    * * *

                    My favorite LBC sermons:
                    True Christians are Perfect!
                    True Christian™ Love.
                    Salvation™ made Easy!
                    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                    God HATES Rational Thinking!
                    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Lonesome me

                      When Mr. Darrow moves to Freehold he will need to conduct his courtship within the community standards. Meeting his future wife needs to be done within the church.

                      Enthusiastic participation in Landover Baptist Church is not just one of the choices for social life in Freehold. It is the only social life option available.
                      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Lonesome me

                        Originally posted by JenNettles
                        Okay, you caught me. But I am trying to get that "look", so I will look pretty close to that when we potentially meet someday.
                        ...
                        You do not deceive. You are only fooling fools. God sees right through your flimsy fraud and it makes baby Jesus weep.
                        You lie and you murder and think it is good.

                        Consider this:
                        You're riding your bike, all proud because your dad took off the seat, leaving the post intact. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.

                        You're dead
                        Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
                        As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
                        Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

                        Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Lonesome me

                          Originally posted by JenNettles
                          To be perfectly honest with you James, I'd be more worried for the Good Humor truck if it was me in front of it.
                          Young lady, you won't be quite so glib when you're standing in front of the Almighty during your appointed time in the Halls of Judgment. Do you not know that everything you've said in this lifetime, and everything you've done, will be replayed for you at that time?

                          Matthew 12:36 "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."

                          What will you say to the when He extends hands and shows you the scars where the nails pierced skin, spilling Holy, Precious -- and all to save you from your wretched, disgusting sins?

                          But, then, it will be too late for you, Miss Nettles. Your excuses will not matter. When you realize that you are, in fact, going to go to to burn for all of eternity, it won't matter if you cry and beg for forgiveness. Your show of concern, at that point, will be too little, too late.

                          Matthew 25:41 "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels".

                          If I were you, Miss, I would very carefully re-read the words that have been provided so kindly to you by our dear Brother Hutchins.

                          Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment".

                          Kindly take this to heart. We mean this for your benefit. Wouldn't you rather spend eternity in Heaven with and beloved followers from ? Think carefully, Dear. You never know when that Good Humor truck will come toward you!

                          Sincerely, Isabella W.
                          (Mrs.) Isabella White

                          Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Lonesome me

                            Originally posted by JenNettles
                            I know what you're saying, but what I'm saying is that the driver of that truck must be drunk, have bad eyesight or just plain dumb to not see me out in the middle of the street! Of course, it could be dumb, but I usually wear a fluorescent helmet at night.
                            Regardless, you will not be concerned about the eyesight of a truck driver, or of the flimsy security you place in a helmet, when you hear telling you of your eternal home on Judgment Day.

                            Revelation 20:15 "And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire."

                            You can make all of the excuses that you wish, Miss Nettles, but the day will come when you will regret all of them.

                            Matthew 7:21 " Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."

                            And, what will you say to the when He reminds of the many kind warnings that were given to you by lovely followers at ? When the re-plays the testimonies given to you at , what will your excuse be then? "Oh, but I was wearing a pretty helmet" will not keep you from the fires of !

                            Sincerely, Isabella W.
                            (Mrs.) Isabella White

                            Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Lonesome me

                              Originally posted by JenNettles
                              Well there's no point arguing over it, because I won't be going to Hell. Jesus loves me.
                              Well, you're right there, Miss Nettles -- there is no point in arguing over this. You have been presented with the facts, as outlined within the blessed pages of the . You can ignore these facts, to your peril, but that will not change your eternal destination: .

                              And, as you will find, you are only fooling yourself.

                              Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

                              Sincerely, Isabella W.
                              (Mrs.) Isabella White

                              Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                              Comment

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