[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I hear this same silly argument more and more nowdays. No one can quite grasp that the earth and all life on it will end within twenty years or so, but the evidence is overwhelming. Global warming is increasing because SATAN has has to stoke up his furnaces to accommodate all of the sinners there....well over a million people die EVERY WEEK. The oceans are almost empty, the air is toxic in many cities....I can go on and on, but it's perfectly all right. No one has to worry. You see, GOD didn't create the earth to last forever. In fact, all of those fossilized bones people keep digging up prove beyond a doubt that every ten thousand years or so God just mushes everything up into a ball of clay and starts over. The earth was only designed to last until JESUS' return. Sure it was built well, but after JESUS leads us in the final battle, it will be time to start over and six days later a new world will be born. In a few thousand years the next version of GOD's creations will be sifting through pop tops and nuclear fuel rods and thinking "Hey, some civilization must have been here millions of years ago". But they will be wrong, just as you are about dinosaurs and evilution.

This is the Pistle theory Rachael, and it explains EVERYTHING from dinosaurs to global warming. It is a complete and flawless explanation, both of what we see and what the Bible says.

Ridiculous. The earth was doing fine until people showed up. It has been doing fine for billions of years and it only took humans a couple hundred to mess it up beyond repair. It is not the doing of a 'devil', but of the greedy, thoughtless human race. It was, and has always been within our power to stop the damage but people, being too greedy to care about anything except making a buck or two. By the time we're done with it, maybe only roaches and scorpions will be able to live here.
Pray for that to be reversed, and if it happens then that might lean more towards proof.

Yes, I have. Irrefutable evidence. Convincing evidence...PROOF! I prayed that you be allowed to live at least one more day and I didn't give you a sugar pill. Since you are still here, I think that is sufficient evidence for any jury in the world!

Oh come ON! I could equally argue that I made a marshmallow offering to the boogeyman and THAT is why I'm still alive!

Not at all. Mathematics tells us that EVERY matter of chance is exactly 50/50. You may toss a coin and get 'heads' a thousand times in a row, but the 1001 time the odds are STILL 50/50.

Chance, shmance. We're talking probability here.

Mathematics does not qualify occurrences to 'with' or 'without' a little extra human assistance. Mathematics, as I have just proven, show that GOD'S will is the deciding factor.

Like I said, what's to stop me arguing it was the boogeyman's will? Or Marvin the Martian's?

[VinnieVespisti]

Re: ANyone not going out 2night? lets hook up!

Oh stop being silly, Vinnie. Getting you neutered wouldn't stop you from 'doing the deed' so to speak, only from spreading your seed! Isn't that what you want anyway?

aw sweetpea, I knew you had my best interests at heart.... cuz you care.

And rest assured, if I were astral travelling anywhere, the destination would most certainly not be your disease ridden boxers! Yeuuchhhh!!!

Rach, I was only funning with ya.... we both know there's no way you'd fit into my shorts.

but hey, you're sort of in proportion.....your chunky ankles are nearly as wide as your thighs, my lil chubby cheeks.

You know, I think you may be suffering from a case of unrequited love....Mrs Rogers never did return your affection, did she? So now you project that onto everyone else. Sad, really.

I love it when you play the shrink.... so you want Vinnie to lay on your couch, Dr Van Freudian Babe? only if you promise to go all Electra on my ass....

.....that's right Toots, Vinnie's your daddy now......but he ain't gonna buy you candy, cuz he don't wanna be crushed when you straddle his lap.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

[/color]
How about you pray for the greedy governments to stop ruining the planet in an effort to get more money and we'll see if anything happens. My guess is, nothing will.

I hear this same silly argument more and more nowdays. No one can quite grasp that the earth and all life on it will end within twenty years or so, but the evidence is overwhelming. Global warming is increasing because SATAN has had to stoke up his furnaces to accommodate all of the sinners there....well over a million people die EVERY WEEK. The oceans are almost empty, the air is toxic in many cities....I can go on and on, but it's perfectly all right. No one has to worry. You see, GOD didn't create the earth to last forever. In fact, all of those fossilized bones people keep digging up prove beyond a doubt that every ten thousand years or so God just mushes everything up into a ball of clay and starts over. The earth was only designed to last until JESUS' return. Sure it was built well, but after JESUS leads us in the final battle, it will be time to start over and six days later a new world will be born. In a few thousand years the next version of GOD's creations will be sifting through pop tops and nuclear fuel rods and thinking "Hey, some civilization must have been here millions of years ago". But they will be wrong, just as you are about dinosaurs and evilution.

This is the Pistle theory Rachael, and it explains EVERYTHING from dinosaurs to global warming. It is a complete and flawless explanation, both of what we see and what the Bible says.

You have no proof that your prayers are any more effective than giving someone a sugar pill.

Yes, I have. Irrefutable evidence. Convincing evidence...PROOF! I prayed that you be allowed to live at least one more day and I didn't give you a sugar pill. Since you are still here, I think that is sufficient evidence for any jury in the world!

Please. If someone prays for something that is 99% likely to happen anyway, that's hardly a miracle.

Not at all. Mathematics tells us that EVERY matter of chance is exactly 50/50. You may toss a coin and get 'heads' a thousand times in a row, but the 1001 time the odds are STILL 50/50.

The math would indicate that the prayer had a little 'extra human assistance'. old

Mathematics does not qualify occurrences to 'with' or 'without' a little extra human assistance. Mathematics, as I have just proven, show that GOD'S will is the deciding factor.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And I explained that (1) those were FALSE CHRISTIANS, who GOD ignores, and (2) their wishy-washy prayers were cancelled out by the satanists' mumbo-jumbo. Have no doubt that allowing anyone except a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) to pray for you is like spitting on the garment of the Holy Ghost.

How about you pray for the greedy governments to stop ruining the planet in an effort to get more money and we'll see if anything happens. My guess is, nothing will.
You have no proof that your prayers are any more effective than giving someone a sugar pill.

There are hundreds of case histories. Mary Olivia Tyler prayed for mercy and she was not hit by a bus on the way home from church.

Please. If someone prays for something that is 99% likely to happen anyway, that's hardly a miracle.

Jim Carlson, from the SATANIC website 'Objective Landover shutdown'. Prayed for us to be shut down and he was mangled into strawberry jelly in a horrible accident a few days later. Do the math..

The math would indicate that the prayer had a little 'extra human assistance'. old

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Pastor Al, it said very clearly that there were xtians in the prayer group. And what about the second example I provided? Face it, sugar placebos have a better result!

And I explained that (1) those were FALSE CHRISTIANS, who GOD ignores, and (2) their wishy-washy prayers were cancelled out by the satanists' mumbo-jumbo. Have no doubt that allowing anyone except a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) to pray for you is like spitting on the garment of the Holy Ghost.

Can you provide examples of this proof? Any studies/findings of your own? Anyone seriously sick who made a miraculous discovery without being aided by medicine?

There are hundreds of case histories. Mary Olivia Tyler prayed for mercy and she was not hit by a bus on the way home from church. Jim Carlson, from the SATANIC website 'Objective Landover shutdown', prayed for us to be shut down and was mangled into strawberry jam in a horrible accident a few days later. Do the math..

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

<sigh>. If a Christian prays for someone, GOD listens. If a MUDSLUM, JOO and BUDDHIST then prays to SATAN for the same person, they are doomed. The way the test was conducted insured that they would all perish in the flames.

Contrariwise, no one who has ever prayed at Landover Baptist has suffered a bad end.

Pastor Al, it said very clearly that there were xtians in the prayer group. And what about the second example I provided? Face it, sugar placebos have a better result!

You cite studies organised by secular scientists as evidence. Have you evidence of how True Christians™ praying for other True Christians™ affects their recovery? No you don't; but we do. Prayer works, we have proved it.

Can you provide examples of this proof? Any studies/findings of your own? Anyone seriously sick who made a miraculous discovery without being aided by medicine?

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

There we go, I have an exact example for you! From this link :


And from this link :
So there, Mister Smartypants.

You cite studies organised by secular scientists as evidence. Have you evidence of how True Christians™ praying for other True Christians™ affects their recovery? No you don't; but we do. Prayer works, we have proved it.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

"This study looked at 700 patients undergoing angiograms (an X-ray of the blood vessels) or other heart operations at nine hospitals across the US.
Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Buddhist prayer groups were assigned to pray for 371 of the patients. The rest had no prayer group."
-RVH

<sigh>. If a Christian prays for someone, GOD listens. If a MUDSLUM, JOO and BUDDHIST then prays to SATAN for the same person, they are doomed. The way the test was conducted insured that they would all perish in the flames.

Contrariwise, no one who has ever prayed at Landover Baptist has suffered a bad end.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

There we go, I have an exact example for you! From this link :

A study found those who were prayed for were as likely to have a setback in hospital, be re-admitted, or die within six months as those not prayed for.
The Duke University Medical Center study of 700 patients, in the Lancet, said music, image and touch therapy did appear to reduce patients' distress. Heart experts said patients could benefit from feeling more optimistic.

The results of this study contradict earlier findings from the same team which suggested a drop of a quarter or more in "adverse outcomes" - including death, heart failure or heart attack.
However, that trial involved only 150 patients. Other research since has found no evidence of any benefits.
This study looked at 700 patients undergoing angiograms (an X-ray of the blood vessels) or other heart operations at nine hospitals across the US.
Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Buddhist prayer groups were assigned to pray for 371 of the patients. The rest had no prayer group.
In addition, 374 of the patients were assigned MIT therapy and the rest none.
MIT involved teaching the patients relaxed breathing techniques and playing them easy listening, classical, or country music during their procedure.
The researchers found that neither therapy alone, or combined, showed any measurable treatment effect on serious cardiovascular events, hospital readmission or death.

And from this link :

OBJECTIVE: To determine the effect of intercessory prayer, a widely practiced complementary therapy, on cardiovascular disease progression after hospital discharge. PATIENTS AND METHODS: In this randomized controlled trial conducted between 1997 and 1999, a total of 799 coronary care unit patients were randomized at hospital discharge to the intercessory prayer group or to the control group. Intercessory prayer, ie, prayer by 1 or more persons on behalf of another, was administered at least once a week for 26 weeks by 5 intercessors per patient. The primary end point after 26 weeks was any of the following: death, cardiac arrest, rehospitalization for cardiovascular disease, coronary revascularization, or an emergency department visit for cardiovascular disease. Patients were divided into a high-risk group based on the presence of any of 5 risk factors (age = or >70 years, diabetes mellitus, prior myocardial infarction, cerebrovascular disease, or peripheral vascular disease) or a low-risk group (absence of risk factors) for subsequent primary events. RESULTS: At 26 weeks, a primary end point had occurred in 25.6% of the intercessory prayer group and 29.3% of the control group (odds ratio [OR], 0.83 [95% confidence interval (CI), 0.60-1.14]; P=.25). Among high-risk patients, 31.0% in the prayer group vs 33.3% in the control group (OR, 0.90 [95% CI, 0.60-1.34]; P=.60) experienced a primary end point. Among low-risk patients, a primary end point occurred in 17.0% in the prayer group vs 24.1% in the control group (OR, 0.65 [95% CI, 0.20-1.36]; P=.12). CONCLUSIONS: As delivered in this study, intercessory prayer had no significant effect on medical outcomes after hospitalization in a coronary care unit.

So there, Mister Smartypants.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Yes, I give examples all the time. Here is one: Your arguments are having the same effect on logic as an iceberg had on the Titanic. <snicker>

So what example would you have used, then? Look, the fact is that these things do happen. And I'll find some such instances to show you. But until I can find a specific instance, I was giving an example.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I was giving you an example!! I never said that was an exact actual occurence, I said 'in the following instance' I meant EXAMPLE. I was giving you an example! Have you never, when trying to explain your reasonings, given an example?
And are you claiming that NO ONE has ever been charged with criminal neglect over that? Are you saying such things have never happened? Because they have, you know they have!

Yes, I give examples all the time. Here is one: Your arguments are having the same effect on logic as an iceberg had on the Titanic. <snicker>

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Meh, you don't need to pray to fight off sickness. Meditation can sometimes help build your strength you need to fight it.

Meditation is for the daughters of darkness; the children of light pray.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

So in order to make your non-facts you make up non-occurrences to prove them. And I believe that earlier you were talking about how smart women are? Yes, you have convinced me all right!

I was giving you an example!! I never said that was an exact actual occurence, I said 'in the following instance' I meant EXAMPLE. I was giving you an example! Have you never, when trying to explain your reasonings, given an example?
And are you claiming that NO ONE has ever been charged with criminal neglect over that? Are you saying such things have never happened? Because they have, you know they have!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I'm sure it would have at one stage or other. Maybe not exactly like that, but very similar. Such people who leave a sick person to die are charged with criminal neglect.

So in order to make your non-facts you make up non-occurrences to prove them. And I believe that earlier you were talking about how smart women are? Yes, you have convinced me all right!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

That has never happened.

I'm sure it would have at one stage or other. Maybe not exactly like that, but very similar. Such people who leave a sick person to die are charged with criminal neglect.