[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

No, you scare them away with all your murdering, hypocricy, and women beating. All the people I've brought here are now Atheist because of what YOU have done! I don't think god likes you turning his followers away. You're going to Hell for sure.

Apart from the questions adequately answered by the other Brothers, this raises a few more.

1) Who are all these people that you have brought here?

2) Were they all Chrisitians who are now atheists?

3) Why did you bring them here?

4) Why do you keep making up new names for yourself?

5) Do you believe in God or not?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

No, you scare them away with all your murdering, hypocricy, and women beating. All the people I've brought here are now Atheist because of what YOU have done! I don't think god likes you turning his followers away. You're going to Hell for sure.

Their faith must have been pretty weak if just reading about Biblical behaviour is enough to turn them away from God. God hates lukewarm false "Christians." You should encourage your friends to read the Bible, see what that'd do to them! They can start in Genesis - here or here, for example.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

No, you scare them away with all your murdering, hypocricy, and women beating. All the people I've brought here are now Atheist because of what YOU have done! I don't think god likes you turning his followers away. You're going to Hell for sure.

Hypocrisy???? When are we hypocrites??? We are the only Christians honest to act upon our faith and we tell everyone about it. Boohoo if you don't like it. The Bible tells us most people are not virtuous enough like we TRUE Christians(tm) are so they will burn in hell.

Grrr, for all the witches I have soul saved or retired from sin out of my life for Christ to be called a hypocrite! The nerve.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

No, you scare them away with all your murdering, hypocricy, and women beating. All the people I've brought here are now Atheist because of what YOU have done! I don't think god likes you turning his followers away. You're going to Hell for sure.

Reading the Bible to people does not turn them away from JESUS! I am pretty sure you are a goth who has come here merely to get slapped. Which is exactly what you need!

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

You lying little sl....tart! We BRING people to Christianity! WE DELIVER SOULS!

No, you scare them away with all your murdering, hypocricy, and women beating. All the people I've brought here are now Atheist because of what YOU have done! I don't think god likes you turning his followers away. You're going to Hell for sure.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

She doesn't scare me. She annoys me. You're the ones who are driving me away from chistianity. I wasn't really Atheist until I came here.

You lying little sl....tart! We BRING people to Christianity! WE DELIVER SOULS!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

She doesn't scare me. She annoys me. You're the ones who are driving me away from chistianity. I wasn't really Atheist until I came here.

The only things driving you away from Christianity are the demons that infest you. The reason why we have such an effect on them is that they can't stand the Biblically rock-solid, True Christian™ teaching that Landover Baptist Church provides. They'd probably feel right at home at a Whiskeypalian or Loseran "church" or wherever it is that the Quaker space cadet communes with his inner light.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Wow! You're very ignorant. If this pastor told you to rape a goat, would you? I bet you would...

It is not "ignorant" to follow a Pastor's guidance. You should try it sometime.

Now run off and fetch me a sandwich, girl! Chop chop!

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

The Pastor has just said that she is not a real Christian. Do not contradict him, you stupid little cow.

If she is not a Landover Baptist she is a "false Christian". Savvy?

Wow! You're very ignorant. If this pastor told you to rape a goat, would you? I bet you would...

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Preach it, Brother! You have hit the nail on the head.

No...he was wrong...very wrong.

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Do you see what some sick minded people do? They pretend to be Christian just so that they can scare you away from our almighty religion! This friend of yours, the False Christian, is pretending that what she says is the truth, so that you won't be able to see True Christianity, Landover Baptist Christianity, the only Christianity approved by Jesus.

She doesn't scare me. She annoys me. You're the ones who are driving me away from chistianity. I wasn't really Atheist until I came here.

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I knew it! You are under the influence of some SATANIST posing as a Christian. But JESUS can save you from her.

No, she's christian...she goes to church every sunday, lets men control her, participates in church activites, worships god, etc...

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Because you remind me of the child I never had the opportunity to drown when she was young.

Is that good or bad?

You are more right than you probably imagine. The medical term "placebo" comes from the Latin phrase "Placebo Domino" - I shall please the Lord.

You keep your placebos - and we'll put our trust in our own time-tested placebo.

But that's all those prayer groups were, a placebo. And it would seem a less effective one than a sugar or opiate (as I think has been done in the past) placebo.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Face it, sugar placebos have a better result!

You are more right than you probably imagine. The medical term "placebo" comes from the Latin phrase "Placebo Domino" - I shall please the Lord.

You keep your placebos - and we'll put our trust in our own time-tested placebo.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

"This study looked at 700 patients undergoing angiograms (an X-ray of the blood vessels) or other heart operations at nine hospitals across the US.
Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Buddhist prayer groups were assigned to pray for 371 of the patients. The rest had no prayer group."
-RVH

<sigh>. If a Christian prays for someone, GOD listens. If a MUDSLUM, JOO and BUDDHIST then prays to SATAN for the same person, they are doomed. The way the test was conducted insured that they would all perish in the flames.

Contrariwise, no one who has ever prayed at Landover Baptist has suffered a bad end.

I believe this is the way these secularists work, Pastor. A Mudslim prayer would be the theological equivalent of a double-blind double-dummy tablet.