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  • #1

    Please Pray For My Urim And Thummim

    Brothers and sisters in Christ; I have misplaced my Urim and Thummim. Either that or someone stole them. I mean the real ones from the Holy Bible, not some fake reproduction.

    Please Pray for their return. I need them.

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  • #2
    Re: Please Pray For My Urim And Thummim

    Praying
    sigpic

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    • #3
      Re: Please Pray For My Urim And Thummim

      I see people are selling what is fake Urim and Thummin openly on the Internet! This garbage is never going to divine the Will of The Lord of Hosts. I would urge all members of the congregation of Landover keep an eye on ebay: it's a thieves’ marketplace.

      Click image for larger version Name: Urim.jpg Views: 1 Size: 80.5 KB ID: 1920282

      Now, if I remember correctly, on the one occasion I saw you use it (to determine if Obama were a foreign-born Muslim - and he is!!!), your Urim was in a Thummin (or is it the other way round? Check before posting this) is one of the three originals crafted by of Nehat of Golgotha. The whole was of gold inlaid with ivory, and silver secured in place by bdellium, while diamonds, sapphires, rubies and carbuncles depicted the most tasteful image of the burning of Jephthah's daughter. The whole Urim/Thummin is about one foot cube and secured by a facsimile of Christ's Foreskin serving as a clasp. Of the Urim dice, one is lapiz and gold, the other is of ivory and tiger's-eye and weighed about 24 ounces each.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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      • #4
        Re: Please Pray For My Urim And Thummim

        I don't understand how we're supposed to locate your urim and thummim without the help of a urim and thummim. Are we supposed to just blindly grope around in the dark??
        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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        • #5
          Re: Please Pray For My Urim And Thummim

          Did you have them after your mission to the Queers in NY City? Perhaps one of our brothers in that godless city could check the back rooms for you. No doubt you ministered to hundreds that weekend. I pray they haven't been made into ear baubles for some queen.

          Hoping they'll soon turn up,
          NRL
          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
          Locations in 50 States and Canada
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          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

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