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  • #1

    Pray 4 Belgium!

    Folks, it seems like GOD is doing His best to rescue the Belgium people from their oppressive liberal secular government. Perhaps on his way out, the King Alpert might have enough cash to purchase a kitchen match and burn that Godless constitution of theirs?

    PS Elmer wants to encourage those Belgiumeeese to keep making beer!
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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  • #2
    Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

    Amen Mother Glendie!

    Elmer shouldn't worry, I'm trying to buy all those cathlyck breweries - I invested heavily in Fortis so that should pay off - and hope the rest of this fictional country just falls apart and becomes a US state.

    This joke has been going on long enough. It started in 1830 - according to the Dutch 9 years later, so we can't even get that part of the story straight - with some drunk hoodlums flooding the streets after seeing a "play". Yeah right. For some reason, that scared the Dutch. Oh really? Durrr... Who on earth believes such nonsense?

    I hope to be crowned "King Rochefort I" soon. Or King Rochefort X, that's still under discussion.

    I'll keep you posted. AMEN! GLORY!
    Psalm 81:10:
    I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
    open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

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    • #3
      Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

      Those Belicans don't make beer! You try and find a lite beer from Belgium!
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

        from the article:
        The king, who under the constitution must decide whether to accept the resignation, held successive talks with the heads of the five ruling-coalition parties until 2 a.m. on Saturday.
        Five! Five ruling parties! And not just "Parties" but "Coalition Parties"!

        And who's this character "King Alfred"? We all know that European monarchs are called, "Charles The Fat" or "Frederick The Stupid" or Matilda The Ugly But Rich."

        This is just a Christmas fairy tale isn't it - I don't believe any of it - I bet that article was planted by the Dutch who, as we know, are always high on drugs and pornography.

        I think it's in poor taste that the standing joke of "Belgia is a real country" should be continued in this vein at such a Holy time of year!


        For the sake of sanity, I hope that Brother Wide-Open gets to be elected King!
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • #5
          Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

          Or, I could probably do it.
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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          • #6
            Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
            Those Belicans don't make beer! You try and find a lite beer from Belgium!
            Only homers drink lite beer.


            Leviticus 26:27-29

            27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
            28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
            29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

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            • #7
              Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

              I'm just praying that a Mudslime terrorist assassinates whoever's the Arch-Duke of Austro-Hungary nowadays. It'd be a messy business, but if it meant that Belgica was finally turned into the muddy, devastated wasteland God always intended it to be, it would definitely be worth it.
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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              • #8
                Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

                Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                I'm just praying that a Mudslime terrorist assassinates whoever's the Arch-Duke of Austro-Hungary nowadays. It'd be a messy business, but if it meant that Belgica was finally turned into the muddy, devastated wasteland God always intended it to be, it would definitely be worth it.
                I think it's still Franz Ferdinand. Your wish might well come true.
                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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                • #9
                  Re: Pray 4 Belgium!

                  I thought they made cuckoo clocks in Belgium.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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