[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

Women are equals, YOU IDIOTS !

Now, THAT is funny!

Women are definitely equal. To other women . . .

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Who will introduce Landover Baptist Church to national broadcast TV?
A: John Walsh-he hosts America's Most Wanted.

That was in poor taste. But I expect nothing more from you papist dogs.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Who will introduce Landover Baptist Church to national broadcast TV?
A: John Walsh-he hosts America's Most Wanted.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

1. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her!

2. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3. What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

4. What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

5. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a
waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there.

6. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

7. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

8. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

9. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

10. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

11. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink..

12. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

13. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

14. Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

15. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

16. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

17. I married my 'Miss Right'.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

18. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's s*ex
drive by 90% ....
it's called a Wedding Cake.

19. Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

20. Women will never be equal to men ...
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.

[True Disciple]

Re: Manly Jokes

I believe the Bible doesn't specificate which kind of fruit Eve got from the Tree, but given the obsessive lust for chocolate that all women share, it must have been a cocoa bean.

[Hank]

Re: Manly Jokes

why do women wear white on their wedding day?

so the dishwasher matches the fridge

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why do women have breasts?



So men have something to look at while they're talking.

[Nobar King]

Re: Manly Jokes

How do you convert a dishwasher to a snowplow?









Give the bitch a shovel

[Bryan Tamariki]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So that they don't look like lezbean feminazis.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Manly Jokes

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Women are equals, YOU IDIOTS !

Care to back that up with Scripture, boy?

And who asked for your unsaved opinion anyway?

[wrongpathtaker]

Re: Manly Jokes

What do you call the worthless piece of skin around the vagina?

A woman. .

Women are equals, YOU IDIOTS !

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Manly Jokes

Now...Heres the difference between a Mans Visit to the ATM, and a womens.


Men:

1- Drive to the bank, park, go to the Cash Dispenser

2- Insert card

3- Dial code and desired amount

4- Take the cash and the card

5- Return to car, drive away

************************************************

Women:

1-Drive to the bank

2-Check make-up in the mirror

3- Apply perfume

4- Manually check haircut

5- Park car - failure, retry

6- Park car - failure, retry

7- Park car - success

8- Search for the card in the handbag

9- Insert card, rejected by the machine

10- Throw phone card back in handbag

11- look for bank card

12- Insert card

13- Look for piece of paper where secret code is written in handbag

14- Enter code

15-Study instructions for 2 minutes

16- #Cancel#

17- Re-enter code

18- #Cancel#

19- Call husband to get correct code

20- Enter desired amount

21- #Error#

22- Enter smaller amount

23- #Error#

24- Enter maximum amount

25- Cross fingers

26- Take cash

27- Go back to the car

28- Check make-up in rear mirror

29- Look for keys in handbag

30- Start car

31- Drive 50 yards

32- STOP

33- Drive back to bank machine

34- Get out of the car

35- Take card back from machine

36- Go back to the car

37- Throw card on passenger seat

38- Check make-up in rear mirror

39- Manually check haircut

40- Go into roundabout - wrong way

41- Brake, reverse

42- Go into roundabout - right way

43- Drive 5 miles

44- Remove hand brake

[Levi Jones]

Re: Manly Jokes

What do you call the worthless piece of skin around the vagina?

A woman.




Why do women have legs?

That way they don't leave a slug trail.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Manly Jokes

A few days ago, I was out with my wife and I asked her opinion....


Sometimes, I just crack myself up