Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

[eliot mayfield]

You're in a new town and you've been witnessing until you feel your head is going to explode. You're hungry and thirsty and an icy cold Christian beverage would just hit the spot. And then a good burger with a side order, and some condiments! Wouldn't that hit the spot?

But, as Christians, we must decide which is more True Christian™ for us, McDonald's or Burger King?

1. There is no McDonald in the bible, period. Kings? About a thousand times the word king is mentioned.

2. Clowns? Survey says, "Zero!" Kings? in the thousand range.

3. Flame broiled or fried on a grill? There is no grill in the Bible! And what about coke, or pepsi?

God has provided the answer:

"41": And the other lamb thou shalt offer at even, and shalt do thereto according to the meat offering of the morning, and according to the drink offering thereof, for a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

That's from:
Exodus, chapter 29.



So what is God saying to us? It's clear he likes flame-broiled, but what about the beverages? Do we have to drink coffee for dinner? What if we had a Yoo Hoo?
The key phrase here is according to. He means according to the people who provide the drinks. So if you eat at a pepsico restaurant, then you drink according to their products.


4. Side orders? Onion rings or fries and who serves which? Bible answer:
Numbers, chapter 11

"5": We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick:

Potatoes? ZERO!

It is clear, God prefers that we eat at Burger king.

[Nobar King]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

Their burgers are pretty tasty, but I have issues with their mascot and the way he's portrayed in their ads.

They use sex to sell their meat and I find that tacky.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

Their burgers are pretty tasty, but I have issues with their mascot and the way he's portrayed in their ads.

You are wise to point this out brother. Indeed, I pondered long upon this issue too, but in the end; a clown, a Barney look-a-like, a pirate, a "cheeseburglar (shudder), and a Mayor McCheese is just too much. McCheese looks like an alien and it's certainly a plot by the democrats.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

There is no king but Christ, so I'll stick with Ruth's Chris Steak House.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

There is no king but Christ, so I'll stick with Ruth's Chris Steak House.

Is it a sin to rub into another member's nose that a decent steak is very far away? I am lucky to have the choice between satanic McD's, or Godly King's! Pastor, I pray you never have to choose! In Czechoslovakia, there is no steak. We only eat chickens and roadkill horses.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

You're in a new town and you've been witnessing until you feel your head is going to explode. You're hungry and thirsty and an icy cold Christian beverage would just hit the spot. And then a good burger with a side order, and some condiments! Wouldn't that hit the spot?

Brother Eliot, I'm shocked that any Christian would suggest a restaurant which provides free condiments, especially if they're given to teenagers.

The only Godly forms of birth control are abstinence (outside marriage) and the rhythm method (when married)!

That said, I am glad that the creepy Burger Thing there does use condiments. Imagine the horror-movie offspring he'd have!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

Brother Eliot, I'm shocked that any Christian would suggest a restaurant which provides free condiments, especially if they're given to teenagers.

The only Godly forms of birth control are abstinence (outside marriage) and the rhythm method (when married)!

That said, I am glad that the creepy Burger Thing there does use condiments. Imagine the horror-movie offspring he'd have!

Brother R.R., you seem to be under a misconception about condiments. Condiments are the extra things you put on food to make it taste better.
For example ketchup. They add to the taste of things.
You're thinking of condominiums, Now they are very evil. Imagine apartment dwellers thinking they have the right to own the place they live! ROTFLWJ!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

I typically have my wife prepare a boxed lunch to take along in the Hummer, but for those who for whatever reason can't do that, there's Chick-fil-A, a company that operates according to Christian principles and has ways of weeding out unsaved trash.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

I typically have my wife prepare a boxed lunch to take along in the Hummer, but for those who for whatever reason can't do that, there's Chick-fil-A, a company that operates according to Christian principles and has ways of weeding out unsaved trash.

Which is the Godliest chicken restaurant? Do they still have BoJangles in the USA?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

I hear there are are other Godly burger joints and chicken places.
I stand by my choice in the big two, but what about others? Feel free to add to the list!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

What about White Castle? I've never been there, but the name sounds reassuring. The name of Wendy's suggests that it's appropriate for a woman to hold a position of authority and Jack-In-The-Box is obviously obscene, so they're both out.
Oh, and feeding your boy a "Bender in a Bun" from Wimpy pretty much guarantees that he'll grow up queer as a three-dollar bill. A three-dollar bill that's stained with an elderly Unitarian's seed.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

For obvious reasons, I would like to request that In-And-Out Burger be kept OFF of the list.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

What about White Castle? I've never been there, but the name sounds reassuring. The name of Wendy's suggests that it's appropriate for a woman to hold a position of authority and Jack-In-The-Box is obviously obscene, so they're both out.
Oh, and feeding your boy a "Bender in a Bun" from Wimpy pretty much guarantees that he'll grow up queer as a three-dollar bill. A three-dollar bill that's stained with an elderly Unitarian's seed.

White castle? Good question. They do use plenty of onions and have onion rings.
On the other hand, square is mentioned only a few times in the Bible, and round very many times. So a square hamburger might not be pleasing unto the lord. (OK, to be fair, round is often with the use of "round about." So those aren't important to our discussion here.)

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

Brother R.R., you seem to be under a misconception about condiments. Condiments are the extra things you put on food to make it taste better.
For example ketchup. They add to the taste of things.
You're thinking of condominiums, Now they are very evil. Imagine apartment dwellers thinking they have the right to own the place they live! ROTFLWJ!

OHHH!

I must have misread your post. Thank you for that clarification, Brother Eliot! I was worried that all your time in Europistan had damaged your moral fiber . . . but I see I was mistaken.

Sorry for the wild accusations!

And yes, condominiums are just wrong. How can you own PART of a building?

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Christian choice, McDonald's or Burger King?

The homosexual influence at Dairy Queen is brazen (even mentioned on some of their signs!) and going there corrupts our youth.