Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

[Bob4God]

Freehold Firearms, Iowa's favorite gun store, is under fire for refusing to serve homosexuals.

The situation they now face at Freehold Firearms is very similar to the one faced by Memories Pizza, the restaurant in Indiana that closed its doors after a public backlash against the owners for saying they wouldn't cater gay weddings. If there is one thing gay people love more than pizza at their weddings, it is firearms. The good people who launched the GoFundMe campaign for Memories Pizza know this. That is why they were able to raise $840,000 for Memories Pizza, to help them through this time of persecution.

Now, it is Freehold Firearms that needs your help. Owner and proprietor, Bob Fore, recently placed a sign in his storefront window that reads, "This Establishment Does Not Serve Gays. Go Play With Someone Else's Gun."

Mr. Fore did not expect his Christian values to bring on the cascade of intolerance and hatred that he now faces. "One person called me a caveman, and another said he would be buying ammunition elsewhere. One even left me a copy of 'God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything,' by Christopher Hitchens. It has gotten to where I don't even feel safe in my own gun store surrounded by all the firearms that used to make me feel so safe," Mr. Fore said.

The future is now uncertain for Freehold Firearms, and True Christians everywhere are welcome to start crowdfunding campaigns to raise money to support Bob Fore and his family.

"GOD has protected and provided for Memories Pizza during their time of trouble, and I know He will bless my family with riches also if we stand up for His truth," Fore was quoted saying in the Freehold Truth and Light. "The more people who make fun of me and refuse to buy guns from my store, the more JESUS will bless me and send people to give me money. Truly, He is the King of Kings!"

Locals and tourists are also welcome to slide checks, money orders and cash under the door of Freehold Firearms, located at the corner of Exodus and Seventh in Freehold, Iowa.

[GOD=life]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Guns should only be part of traditional weddings!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Gays are a serious threat to all we hold dear. How can we be expected to arm the very people who rape our children and force them to marry horses? The government has already interceded in our religious freedom by stopping us from lynching them, along with witches, adulterers, and our own children. Now they are forcing us to serve them like slaves. Next we will be forced to perform oral sex on their fecal frothed phalli as they do to one another. I cannot wait for the rapture to sweep us away to Heaven before God pours out the phials of his wrath as plagues upon the thenceforth gay earth.

[Bob4God]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Gays are a serious threat to all we hold dear. How can we be expected to arm the very people who rape our children and force them to marry horses? The government has already interceded in our religious freedom by stopping us from lynching them, along with witches, adulterers, and our own children. Now they are forcing us to serve them like slaves. Next we will be forced to perform oral sex on their fecal frothed phalli as they do to one another. I cannot wait for the rapture to sweep us away to Heaven before God pours out the phials of his wrath as plagues upon the thenceforth gay earth.

Amen, Brother!

Speaking of GOD's wrath, have you donated yet? I hear from the O'Connors of Indiana that it is very easy to set up a fundraiser on GoFundMe.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Amen, Brother!

Speaking of GOD's wrath, have you donated yet? I hear from the O'Connors of Indiana that it is very easy to set up a fundraiser on GoFundMe.

Actually, brother, please don't tell the authorities, but I am having truckfulls of pizza funneled to me through the underground Christian railroad. That combined with all the money I am putting into Pastor Ezekiel's jetliner means I can't buy anymore guns this fiscal year, but I can donate as much pizza as you want.

[Bob4God]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Actually, brother, please don't tell the authorities, but I am having truckfulls of pizza funneled to me through the underground Christian railroad. That combined with all the money I am putting into Pastor Ezekiel's jetliner means I can't buy anymore guns this fiscal year, but I can donate as much pizza as you want.

I understand that times are tough. I ought to know. After all, my business is on the line for my faith now. It's just that I'd hate for the rumors to get started that there are homosexual sympathizers in our very own church. Donating money to needy Christian businesses under attack from Big Sodomy is an excellent way to preserve your manly man True Christian reputation.

I am praying for you, brother.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Brother Bob, I understand your despair when you see how much is being donated for Pastor Zeke's new aircraft. When a mere 1% of that would make all the difference to you. When it's depleting the check accounts of True Christians(tm) so that they have none left for you.

However, while many people feel that their potential paltry contributions to Pastor Zeke's plane would be insignificant, they know that those amounts would be appreciated by you. I expect that you'll get many of those.

Then, you have the contract to fit out the armoury on the plane. That armoury will be more than a year's supply of weapons for gay weddings. I will pray that you can hold out long enough to service that contract.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Freehold Firearms, Iowa's favorite gun store, is under fire for refusing to serve homosexuals.

I think your defense lies in the well known fact that there are no homersexers in Freehold.

[Bob4God]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

I think your defense lies in the well known fact that there are no homersexers in Freehold.

While that is comforting, it doesn't make the persecution any easier. Literally any day now, a homosexual might drive through town and demand that I sell him a gun. Naturally I would have to refuse and then I just know that it will be all over for me.

It only takes one gay to devastate my business with a lawsuit, and I'll have to close up shop. Plus I know that I am going to be threatened with violence to myself or my property for standing up for JESUS. The Bible guarantees it. I don't know when it will happen, but it will.

I am not frightened. My faith in CHRIST is greater than any harm the gays and liberals could do. Losing my business, being beaten and harassed and jailed for my faith is a storm GOD will see me through.

But I know if I saw someone who was being persecuted like this, I wouldn't feel like any kind of Christian at all if I didn't offer to help him out with his impending legal fees or hospital bills. But maybe that's just me.

I have to stop writing now. I hear a knock at the door. If I am not at church next Sunday, I have been arrested or killed for supporting traditional marriage.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

I'm mailing over a check for 100,000. I know it's not a lot, but my husband does what he can to help any Brother in Christ fight the evils of the liberal government.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

God-mocking liberals are asking why Christians aren't so eager to give to the poor as they are to persecuted Christian businesses, but as any Biblically literate person could tell you, Our Lord told us to have priorities:

[Mark 14:7 KJV] 7 For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always.

In this case, we'll always be able to give to the poor, but responding to anti-Christian persecution has a shorter fuse.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Allowing gays to have guns would be the worst idea ever. Once Sarah Palin wins the election, we get Biblical law and killing gays becomes legal as required by Leviticus 20:13, they might shoot back when we try to kill them!

But since they like things that are pink, and no decent Christian man would ever buy or use something that is pink, we should sell them pink guns that don't work. That way the gays would have less money to spend on raping innocent little Christian children.

[Esther B.]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

What a shame, Brother Bob. Samuel just called and told me that he is going to send you a check for $75,000. He says it isn't much, but he wants to be sure that he'll have enough money to send to Pastor Ezekiel if the money that he already sent isn't enough. But he might send more to you.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

I understand that times are tough. I ought to know. After all, my business is on the line for my faith now. It's just that I'd hate for the rumors to get started that there are homosexual sympathizers in our very own church. Donating money to needy Christian businesses under attack from Big Sodomy is an excellent way to preserve your manly man True Christian reputation.

I am praying for you, brother.

I suppose I could sell my daddy's gun and put a few bucks together for you Bob. Anything to prevent homosexuals from stuffing us like a Thanksgiving turkey full of whatever homers are sodomizing with nowadays.

[Bob4God]

Re: Freehold Firearms Does Not Serve Gays; Donations Needed

Oh, glory to JESUS!

Last night, Mrs. Fore was up late worrying and fretting about what we are going to do if I have to close the shop to avoid selling a gun to a homosexual. "How will we buy food?" she sobbed.

"Don't you worry," I said, "True Christians always look out for each other."

This morning I log in to find that JESUS has started answering our prayers already with your humble donations! We should have almost enough now to pay for a True Christian lawyer to defend us in court one the lawsuits come pouring in.

The timing really could not have been better. Yesterday afternoon I wrote a 14 page opinion piece to the Freehold Truth and Light reminding everyone that I disapprove of gay weddings.