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  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10274

    #31
    Re: Congratulations, Landover!

    Originally posted by IllegitimateDemon View Post

    So are you completely sure your "True Christian" "Baptist" "Faith" is directed towards the right testament?
    Yes.
    Enough food for thought?
    No.

    Incidentally, God warns you against this kind of debating.

    Matthew 12:36
    But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.


    Yours in Christ,


    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:

    Comment

    • IllegitimateDemon
      Unsaved trash, suspected retard
      • Nov 2014
      • 17

      #32
      Re: Congratulations, Landover!

      That gave me a chuckle. You can't just speak to me man to man can you? It's hard to admit your stumped. It's okay a lot of people go through it. And for the infraction that you gave me. Lets think about it for a bit.




      Ten Commandments:


      1. You shall have no other gods before Me. [Check]
      2. You shall not make idols. [Check]
      3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. [Check]
      4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. [Double Check]
      5. Honor your father and your mother. [Check]
      6. You shall not murder. [Absolute Check]
      7. You shall not commit adultery. [Check] Seeming that im not married
      8. You shall not steal. [Check]
      9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. [Check]
      10. You shall not covet. [Check]

      Hmm. It seems I'm not breaking any of the rules. Everything is in order. Keeping God happy makes me happy.
      Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in his image he created him.
      Mark 12:31 ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
      Romans 2:11 For God shows no partiality.
      1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.

      Comment

      • Des
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2013
        • 2718

        #33
        Re: Congratulations, Landover!

        Originally posted by IllegitimateDemon View Post
        That gave me a chuckle. You can't just speak to me man to man can you? It's hard to admit your stumped. It's okay a lot of people go through it. And for the infraction that you gave me. Lets think about it for a bit.




        Ten Commandments:


        1. You shall have no other gods before Me. [Check]
        2. You shall not make idols. [Check]
        3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. [Check]
        4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. [Double Check]
        5. Honor your father and your mother. [Check]
        6. You shall not murder. [Absolute Check]
        7. You shall not commit adultery. [Check] Seeming that im not married
        8. You shall not steal. [Check]
        9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. [Check]
        10. You shall not covet. [Check]

        Hmm. It seems I'm not breaking any of the rules. Everything is in order. Keeping God happy makes me happy.
        But you're a witch. In order to truly make God happy, you would kill yourself.

        Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

        Leviticus 20:27 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.

        Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
        Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

        Comment

        • Didymus Much
          Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
          • Jun 2010
          • 14079

          #34
          Re: Congratulations, Landover!

          Originally posted by IllegitimateDemon View Post
          ...Hmm. It seems I'm not breaking any of the rules...
          What about the over 600 other rules, restrictions, demands, taboos, edicts, etc. in the Bible?

          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          You? You'll never make it. You rack disciprine.

          Comment

          • Jim Farmer
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2014
            • 2293

            #35
            Re: Congratulations, Landover!

            Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
            What about the over 600 other rules, restrictions, demands, taboos, edicts, etc. in the Bible?

            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            You? You'll never make it. You rack disciprine.
            Does God forgive atheists with speech impediments? No. Only Christians with speech impediments. Mark 7:32-35

            Do you fornicate, masturbate, eat shellfish, collect sticks on Sundays or,lie?
            These are just a few of the things that incur God's wrath.
            sigpic

            Comment

            • Pim Pendergast
              PHD - Theophysicist
              Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2012
              • 3103

              #36
              Re: Congratulations, Landover!

              Originally posted by Truenamer View Post
              Your belief is your choice.
              Belief is not a matter of choice. How do you choose to be convinced of the truth?
              sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

              Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

              Comment

              • Ezekiel Bathfire
                Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                Christ's Rottweiler
                 
                • Jan 2008
                • 22895

                #37
                Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                Originally posted by Truenamer View Post
                Witches are not sorcerers.

                If you had to tell apart a witch and a sorcerer by how they use their magic, they would be different.

                Warlocks are close to witches, but more reliant on the dark powers, whether that be demons or eldritch forces.

                Wizards are purely arcane power.

                Sorcerers can use arcane or dark power, but they have power within.
                Yeah, whatever. 17th century records* show that they all burn at the stake the same.

                *plus one in the 19th century that we do not speak of.
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment

                • Oliver Brendan Hayve
                  Unsaved trash, God-mocking gayboy
                  • Aug 2010
                  • 190

                  #38
                  Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                  Originally posted by Truenamer View Post
                  Sorcery is real, kids.
                  Assertions like that require evidence, kid.

                  Originally posted by IllegitimateDemon View Post
                  Since Pastor Issac Peters number one gun is to ask for scriptures that back my statements.
                  What silly billies those Landover Baptists are, asking you to back your assertions about Christianity with the foundational text of Christianity. You, on the other hand, follow a higher truth about Christianity because you just make up stuff as you go along God and Jesus live in your heart. Out of all of the believers in the world, why would God show you that special favor? When other people claim that God lives in their hearts and tells them the exact opposite of what God supposedly tells you, how do we know who's right? (Hint: It's not logically possible that they all speak for God, but it's logically possible that no one does.) When God speaks to your heart, how often does God disagree with what you wanted to believe anyway?
                  This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture only. --ADMIN

                  Comment

                  • Dolores de Barriga
                    Apparently not part of the domestic staff; suspected academic
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2014
                    • 462

                    #39
                    Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                    Originally posted by Avery Johnson View Post
                    Hi, me again, I would just like to say thanks, and congratulations, for driving away several good christians, like my former self, and converting them into Atheists!... etc, etc
                    Hello, Mr. Johnson. I'm confused, why are you so bitter? Why is it so bad to be truthful and sincere about own religion? Would you rather prefer these lovely people to lie about their religion and lure people into their faith under false pretenses?

                    Originally posted by Truenamer View Post
                    I have to agree with the OP.

                    It's not right to force beliefs on people.

                    Your belief is your choice.
                    And who is forcing them, Mr. Namer? Let me tell you - not only you'll never see a Landover Baptist preaching to you on every corner, but in fact, it's quite difficult to enter their community in Iowa! I know, because I'm trying to do research there, and I still haven't been allowed in!

                    Originally posted by Truenamer View Post
                    Witches are not sorcerers.

                    If you had to tell apart a witch and a sorcerer by how they use their magic, they would be different.

                    Warlocks are close to witches, but more reliant on the dark powers, whether that be demons or eldritch forces.

                    Wizards are purely arcane power.

                    Sorcerers can use arcane or dark power, but they have power within.
                    This description of mythological beings is very interesting, does it have an actual basis in one or more pagan mythologies, or is it all made up 20th century crap? (An honest question, I do not know the answer).
                    John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

                    Comment

                    • Avery Johnson
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      • Oct 2014
                      • 45

                      #40
                      Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                      I'm gone 1 day.
                      1 DAY.

                      And you people bomb this thread and start a bunch of arguments.
                      Seriously, why can't we all just get along? I thought that was what being a Christian was all about, but you? You people turn it into a religion about Hating everyone that disagrees with you on the TINIEST things.

                      You see it written in some book, so you think you ABSOLUTELY MUST BE OBEYED. A book that was written in a foreign language over 2,000 years ago on the opposite side of the Planet. Think about the possibility of parts of it (or the whole thing) being lost in translation from when the Bible was first discovered.

                      Furthermore, I'm serious when I say that I NEED to see REAL PHYSICAL PROOF of everything in the Bible, and if that means the start of the Rapture, seeing Jesus in person, then so be it, at least that mystery will be solved.

                      I simply don't understand why God would make a species as sick as the human race, a religion as sick as this, and Monsters as sick as YOU.

                      This is why I have chosen to deny all religions, because it has been the cause of most great wars in human history, I mean think about what we can achieve if we all just worked together to get stuff done, humans could find a cure for all major illnesses, explore space, and be happy, truly happy.

                      Comment

                      • Didymus Much
                        Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                        • Jun 2010
                        • 14079

                        #41
                        Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                        Originally posted by Avery Johnson View Post
                        ...Seriously, why can't we all just get along? I thought that was what being a Christian was all about, but you? You people turn it into a religion about Hating everyone that disagrees with you on the TINIEST things...
                        Would you PLEASE have the courtesy to at least READ THE FARKING BIBLE before you go telling these people that they're doing it wrong?

                        If you feel that there is something in the Bible that they do violate, bring it or shut up already.

                        ...You see it written in some book, so you think you ABSOLUTELY MUST BE OBEYED. A book that was written in a foreign language over 2,000 years ago on the opposite side of the Planet. Think about the possibility of parts of it (or the whole thing) being lost in translation from when the Bible was first discovered...
                        A god that's incapable of preserving His will is no god worth worshipping, so your argument is invalid.

                        ...Furthermore, I'm serious when I say that I NEED to see REAL PHYSICAL PROOF of everything in the Bible, and if that means the start of the Rapture, seeing Jesus in person, then so be it, at least that mystery will be solved...
                        Aaaaand, then it'll be too late.

                        ...I simply don't understand why God would make a species as sick as the human race, a religion as sick as this, and Monsters as sick as YOU...
                        Argument from incredulity. Look it up to see why it will be ignored.

                        ...This is why I have chosen to deny all religions, because it has been the cause of most great wars in human history...
                        If everyone else just believed in the right religion (ie. theirs), that would all stop, obv.

                        ...I mean think about what we can achieve if we all just worked together to get stuff done, humans could find a cure for all major illnesses, explore space, and be happy, truly happy.
                        And the more stuff we get done means the faster we use up the scant resources on this fragile globe. And new illnesses will happen all the time, and old ones will get worse, because evolution. And let's go explore space because all life forms we encounter are guaranteed to be super friendly, until we decide that they aren't giving us fair access to some resource (or the other way around) and wars will still be with us.

                        And then we go to Hell for eternity, anyway (if these people are right).

                        Next.

                        Comment

                        • Des
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2013
                          • 2718

                          #42
                          Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                          Originally posted by Avery Johnson View Post
                          ... ... ... ... ... ad nauseam
                          Why are you so unhappy? Is it because your anus is prolapsing from all the rough pillow-biting gay sex? Is it because you didn't get enough attention as a child? Is it because you have rejected God and now feel a void in your life, a God shaped hole in your heart?

                          I'll pray for you.
                          Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

                          Comment

                          • Elmer G. White
                            Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                            Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                             
                            • Apr 2014
                            • 10274

                            #43
                            Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                            Originally posted by Avery Johnson View Post
                            I'm serious when I say that I NEED to see REAL PHYSICAL PROOF of everything in the Bible... seeing Jesus in person, then so be it, at least that mystery will be solved...
                            Dear Mr. Avery,

                            You want physical proof of Jesus? Something that can be measured with scientific means? I can provide this. Irrefutable proof. Don’t read it if you are not ready to accept Jesus as your personal Master and Savior… and it is an observation by secular scientists that you seem to rely on so much. You can see it everywhere and the only time you cannot see it is because there is nothing to see.

                            Light.

                            John 8:12
                            Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

                            Jesus is the light of the world as confirmed by scientific research. It can be seen and measured and its intensity expressed in SI units (cd). This means that you CAN SEE JESUS IN PERSON as you requested. This is the ultimate proof!


                            The time to accept Jesus as your savior is NOW!






                            Yours in Christ,


                            Elmer
                            2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                            PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                            Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                            Comment

                            • Pim Pendergast
                              PHD - Theophysicist
                              Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
                              True Christian™
                              • Jun 2012
                              • 3103

                              #44
                              Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                              Originally posted by Avery Johnson View Post
                              Furthermore, I'm serious when I say that I NEED to see REAL PHYSICAL PROOF of everything in the Bible, and if that means the start of the Rapture, seeing Jesus in person, then so be it, at least that mystery will be solved.
                              Why don't you ask the animals for proof?

                              Job 12:7-10
                              7 But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee:
                              8 Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee.
                              9 Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this?
                              10 In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind.
                              sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

                              Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Isaac Peters
                                Senior Pastor
                                Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                                Always Biblically correct
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 10639

                                #45
                                Re: Congratulations, Landover!

                                God has already provided all of the evidence that you need, and if you choose to ignore it, He will make you queer:

                                [Romans 1:18-27 KJV] 18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed [it] unto them. 20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, [even] his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified [him] not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. 24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
                                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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