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  • Jerk Wanker
    Unsaved trash, godmocking abo
    • Nov 2013
    • 27

    #1

    I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

    I wish to rejoin with Jesus Christ and repent, but i will need guidance and support.

    Any takers?
  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10272

    #2
    Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

    Originally posted by Jerk Wanker View Post
    I wish to rejoin with Jesus Christ and repent, but i will need guidance and support.

    Any takers?
    Glory!

    Once again the persistent exposure to Truth™ pays off. If you're sincere you're going to be one of Jesus' special sweethearts in Heaven.

    Luke 15:7
    I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.


    Tell us more about your sins? Are you ready to discard sodomy and evolution? There is lots of great material available here for you to study

    Now there is HOPE. Don't mess it up!




    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:

    Comment

    • MitzaLizalor
      Completely CRAZY for the Lord
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2010
      • 14372

      #3
      Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

      Hello. Welcome to the forum. One big difference between ancient superstition and Christianity is that whereas one is based on mumbojumbo from remote antiquity the other has a solid foundation in historical events.

      NEHEMIAH 9
      6
      Thou, even thou, art LORD alone; thou hast made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth, and all things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou preservest them all; and the host of heaven worshippeth thee.
      KJV .. look up


      Hallelujah!

      Comment

      • Marko Loimaan-Aho
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • May 2014
        • 709

        #4
        Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

        Originally posted by Jerk Wanker View Post
        I wish to rejoin with Jesus Christ and repent, but i will need guidance and support.

        Any takers?
        Really? Ready to leave cannibalism?
        PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY!
        Revelation 21:8

        Animal Rights - A Christian Perspective
        Satan’s new technology – Black is even darker than before

        Comment

        • Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jun 2014
          • 1330

          #5
          Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

          That's great to say, but will we see action, or will you turn away when it gets hard? When the Bible tells you to do something you don't want to do, but are compelled to do it by God Himself? I pray that you will be able to resist the Devil and join us in praising the Lord.
          "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

          Comment

          • Basilissa
            South of the Border outreach program
            True Christian™
             
            • Mar 2013
            • 12978

            #6
            Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

            Originally posted by Jerk Wanker View Post
            I wish to rejoin with Jesus Christ and repent, but i will need guidance and support.

            Any takers?
            Praise ! It seems that He decided to have mercy on your soul after all!

            Now, the only thing you have to do is read the Holy Bible and follow the 600+ commandments that are listed there, and you will be on the right part to Salvation.

            Please do keep in touch and inform us on your progress. We could conduct some exams to see how you're doing in your reading, it will be fun!
            God created fossils to test our faith.

            * * *

            My favorite LBC sermons:
            True Christians are Perfect!
            True Christian™ Love.
            Salvation™ made Easy!
            You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
            Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
            Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
            Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
            Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
            The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
            Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
            God HATES Rational Thinking!
            True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050

              #7
              Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

              Originally posted by Jerk Wanker View Post
              I wish to rejoin with Jesus Christ and repent, but i will need guidance and support.

              Any takers?

              No.

              Why? Because it's not our responsibility. You can choose to take Jesus right this very instant.

              So quit playing games and get right with the lord.
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • Walter Van Slyke
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Oct 2013
                • 212

                #8
                Re: I have converted and are ready to repent for my sins!

                Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                No.

                Why? Because it's not our responsibility. You can choose to take Jesus right this very instant.

                So quit playing games and get right with the lord.
                Brother Faith is, as always, spot on.

                Jesus is all the help you need, friend.
                Hebrews 4:16
                Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

                I have a very good internet connection. It's so good, I can smell insincerity at the other end. And boy, does it stink in here.
                Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

                Comment

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