Hi, you gorgeous young men

[Aholibah]

I am Aholibah. I have a sister, Aholah.
Our mother named us after the 2 ladies whose lives are addressed in intimate detail in Ezekiel 23, and encouraged us to model ourselves on those ladies.


My favourite part of the Bible is of course, Ezekiel 23.
All True Christians(tm) are welcome to contact me privately if they want to know me better.

[Ex-Primordial Dwarf]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I am Aholibah. I have a sister, Aholah.
Our mother named us after the 2 ladies whose lives are addressed in intimate detail in Ezekiel 23, and encouraged us to model ourselves on those ladies.


My favourite part of the Bible is of course, Ezekiel 23.
All True Christians™ are welcome to contact me privately if they want to know me better.

M'lady!

I am at your service!

I warn you though, I have expensive tastes. If you really want this relationship to work out, please don't be a skinflint! PM me! We can chat about Jesus....and other things, like marriage arrangements!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I am Aholibah. I have a sister, Aholah.
Our mother named us after the 2 ladies whose lives are addressed in intimate detail in Ezekiel 23, and encouraged us to model ourselves on those ladies.


My favourite part of the Bible is of course, Ezekiel 23.
All True Christians™ are welcome to contact me privately if they want to know me better.

Miss Aholiba,

You may think that you're here to seduce our young youth into fornicatory excursions.

You are wrong.

The tiny infinitesimally small grain of decency that dwells within you is there because of Jesus. He hates harlots but He wants to love them. Things can change. We have proof. It is in the Bible. I can assure you that we as True Christians™ have no opinions. We have the Word of God to support us.



Joshua 6:25
And Joshua saved Rahab the harlot alive, and her father's household, and all that she had; and she dwelleth in Israel even unto this day; because she hid the messengers, which Joshua sent to spy out Jericho.




Now, are you ready to choose a new favorite verse? I recommend the one above.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

Welcome, Aholi- um, Aoli? Ahoolihan?

Can I just call you Ho for short?

Anyway, I can't wait to learn all about you.

I'm not allowed to exchange private messages with newcomers, however, so you'll have to spill the beans right here.

[Aholibah]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

M'lady!

I am at your service!

I warn you though, I have expensive tastes. If you really want this relationship to work out, please don't be a skinflint! PM me! We can chat about Jesus....and other things, like marriage arrangements!

Hey Midget, What part of "True Christian" do you not understand?
At most of the parties I go to, midget tossing is a favorite activity. You're probably the midget in question.

[Aholibah]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

The tiny infinitesimally small grain of decency that dwells within you is there because of Jesus. He hates harlots but He wants to love them.

Brother Elmer, I'm sure Jesus would love me. I have yet to meet a man who hasn't loved me. The same goes for women, actually.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

Bite your tongue, fallen woman! That dwarf outranks you here, and you will keep a civil tongue in your overly-adorned head whenever you address him!

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I am Aholibah. I have a sister, Aholah.
Our mother named us after the 2 ladies whose lives are addressed in intimate detail in Ezekiel 23, and encouraged us to model ourselves on those ladies.


My favourite part of the Bible is of course, Ezekiel 23.
All True Christians™ are welcome to contact me privately if they want to know me better.

Can you make food?

[CleanForChrist]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

The same goes for women, actually.

Do I smell a bulldyke?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I believe this one is a witch who uses physical attraction to entice men into sin. I believe she is hunting Christians here. Unless she is willing to submit to a complete examination by a committee appointed by our Pastors, I believe we must assume she is, indeed, a witch and act accordingly. We must hunt her down. God is very clear in His instructions. There can be no possible misinterpretation. Exodus 22:18

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I am Aholibah. I have a sister, Aholah.
Our mother named us after the 2 ladies whose lives are addressed in intimate detail in Ezekiel 23, and encouraged us to model ourselves on those ladies.


My favourite part of the Bible is of course, Ezekiel 23.
All True Christians™ are welcome to contact me privately if they want to know me better.

Miss Alibaba,

I understand that as a feeble-minded woman you must have trouble following even the easiest set of directions, yet I beg you - do try, you know, to make us women look less bad in the eyes of men.

You forgot to properly introduce yourself:

What church do you go to?
How did you come to find Jesus?
Are you married?
If yes, how many sons do you have?
Do you have your husband's (or your father's, if you aren't married yet) permission to be here?

[Aholibah]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

Yes, please!
When would the good pastors like to conduct this examination? I will be there. I'm looking forward to it

[Roland]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

Yes, please!
When would the good pastors like to conduct this examination? I will be there. I'm looking forward to it

Which examination are you referring to?

Edit: never mind: I see you were referring to Alvin Moss.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

I think you could be dangerous. I expect we better just go on and burn you at the stake.

[Aholibah]

Re: Hi, you gorgeous young men

Miss Alibaba,

I understand that as a feeble-minded woman you must have trouble following even the easiest set of directions, yet I beg you - do try, you know, to make us women look less bad in the eyes of men.

You forgot to properly introduce yourself:

What church do you go to?
How did you come to find Jesus?
Are you married?
If yes, how many sons do you have?
Do you have your husband's (or your father's, if you aren't married yet) permission to be here?

I go to whichever church my lover of the day takes me.
My mother introduced me to the Bible and Jesus when I was but a toddler.
Married? No! Marriage would severely disrupt my lifestyle.
And no children.
My mother has no idea who my father is, so how can I have his permission?