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  • #1

    Greetings!

    Hello there! My name is Susan. I am in my second year at Hillsdale Bible College in Moore, Oklahoma, where I also attend church services.

    I love America and I love Jesus. I was born and raised in a Baptist home, and I am the oldest of seven children. It makes my heart swell to see the amount of True Christians on this forum. I hope to soon be able to join your ranks, and maybe find a husband to serve.
    Leviticus 12:5 and Leviticus 18:19
    <3 <3 <3
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Greetings!

    Oh dear, I forgot to put my favorite bible verse in. I am called to Leviticus 12:5.
    Leviticus 12:5 and Leviticus 18:19
    <3 <3 <3

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Greetings!

      Hello and welcome to our forums! I'll bet you can't wait to find a good man to honor and serve and provide sweet little Soldiers of Christ to fill his quiver full! What an exciting time of your life, to anticipate motherhood is just so joyous! Tell us, what dishes are you famous for preparing? And I know the menfolk will want to know all about your pie!

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Greetings!

        My hopes are high for this dear child
        I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

        Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
        Matthew 7:22         Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
        Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

        Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Greetings!

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          Hello and welcome to our forums! I'll bet you can't wait to find a good man to honor and serve and provide sweet little Soldiers of Christ to fill his quiver full! What an exciting time of your life, to anticipate motherhood is just so joyous! Tell us, what dishes are you famous for preparing? And I know the menfolk will want to know all about your pie!

          I absolutely cannot wait to have children. I have plenty of experience in childrearing due to all of the children in my life.

          I am famous for making chicken and dumplings, chili, and any kind of baked goods! I especially love baking. I make apple pie, cherry pie, strawberry rhubarb pie, and lemon merangue pie. I also make wonderful cakes...
          Leviticus 12:5 and Leviticus 18:19
          <3 <3 <3

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Greetings!

            I think you and I will get along just fine!

            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Greetings!

              Welcome then, woman. Praise God that you have found us here. Christians have become sparse in some areas, even formerly Godly Oklahoma. I know you will find it is good to have a place you can find refuge from murderous Induns and the like.


              What armaments does your father bear to protect his family from the ravenous appetites of the savages in your vicinity?
              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Greetings!

                Originally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
                Welcome then, woman. Praise God that you have found us here. Christians have become sparse in some areas, even formerly Godly Oklahoma. I know you will find it is good to have a place you can find refuge from murderous Induns and the like.


                What armaments does your father bear to protect his family from the ravenous appetites of the savages in your vicinity?
                My father has a 12 gauge shotgun, an AK-47, an AR-15, and a Glock 22 in his bedside table. He has a large safe full of other weaponry, but I am not allowed to see inside of it.
                Leviticus 12:5 and Leviticus 18:19
                <3 <3 <3

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Greetings!

                  Originally posted by BaptistLady1 View Post
                  I absolutely cannot wait to have children. I have plenty of experience in childrearing due to all of the children in my life.

                  I am famous for making chicken and dumplings, chili, and any kind of baked goods! I especially love baking. I make apple pie, cherry pie, strawberry rhubarb pie, and lemon merangue pie. I also make wonderful cakes...
                  Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                  I think you and I will get along just fine!

                  Ladies,

                  I must admit that I've sometimes found the feminine chatter about recipies and pies a bit redundant when compared to worship and obedience. This time I decided to approach this subject with the benefit of doubt. With the quickly approaching Rapture it is time to consider our dietary habits when in Heaven. Is there going to be pie?

                  I found a picture that strongly suggests that yes, indeed, there is going to be pie.





                  Most of the things women fuss about are tedious and tiresome. But I must admit True Christian™ ladies do serve sweet pies. And savory. Thus, welcome to the forum.

                  To conclude, I surmise the main filling of the Heavenly pies will be manna. Manna pie. with bdellium colors.

                  Numbers 11:8
                  And the people went about, and gathered it, and ground it in mills, or beat it in a mortar, and baked it in pans, and made cakes of it: and the taste of it was as the taste of fresh oil.


                  Yours in Christ,

                  Elmer
                  2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                  PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                  Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Greetings!

                    Originally posted by Elmer G. White View Post
                    I found a picture that strongly suggests that yes, indeed, there is going to be pie.


                    I wouldn't place too much faith in that picture, Brother Elmer. For starters it show children, which we know can't be in Heaven. Secondly it shows a near naked woman - again, that would not be permitted in Heaven. Thirdly, it shows 2 nigras. Now it's possibly that some nigras may make it to Heaven, bit the picture suggests more of them than of white people, which is impossible.

                    Oh, and welcome to the forum, BL1
                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Greetings!

                      Originally posted by BaptistLady1 View Post
                      My father has a 12 gauge shotgun, an AK-47, an AR-15, and a Glock 22 in his bedside table. He has a large safe full of other weaponry, but I am not allowed to see inside of it.

                      Your father is well armed. All the basic necessities are well covered. I prefer a revolver myself, though many of the younger generation favor those automatic pistols.

                      Are you near to the Comanches? They are quite dangerous. We had to smite many of them and the Yankees killed their horses, too, for that matter. The Yankees have no respect what so ever.The rest of the tribe we drove into Oklahoma. No offense intended, of course. There were no Christians present in Oklahoma in those days.
                      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Greetings!

                        Welcome to God's favorite forum. I like women who are seen but not heard.

                        If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                        If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                        You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                        Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Greetings!

                          Hello, Sister Susan.

                          My dear wife, Pearl, came into our bedroom as I was reading, mumbling in hysterics "potential new lady-friend, potential new lady-friend! Pies!!!" so I hobbled out of my twin bed to find out exactly what shenanigans were going on.

                          Turns out, she was (hopefully) correct to be excited; you seem like a very well-fit member to our community. Of course, these are the early stages, and there have been many new members who appear to be True Christians, but given time are exposed. Just like the prophets Matthew 7:15 speaks of.

                          As I get older, I am afraid this old body does not digest pies as it used to, but I am excited nonetheless. Perhaps you and Pearl can exchange pie recipes? I do love digging into one I have not tasted before.

                          Regards,

                          Franklin
                          Just a loving, saved, MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL couple sharing this account! Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Carol, not sure why the Face book isn't typing out my letters, LOL. I hope you can see this message, none of the letters are going in the box. Maybe they are invisible? We do not really understand Computers or Technology. I will have to ask Anita about this. See you tomor

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                          • #14
                            Re: Greetings!

                            Welcome! Why don't you head over to the Prayer Shack (with you father's permission, of course) so we can talk about pies?
                            And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                            Deuteronomy 6.5

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Greetings!

                              Welcome to God's favorite forum!

                              As you don't have a husband yet (what is wrong with you?), do you have your fathers permission to post on this forum?
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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