I made a pact with the Devil

[Maxican, Jess us was]

So, my life was depressing, and my girlfriend at the time was a satanist, so i decided to make a pact with the all mighty lord Satan.

Im here to introduce myself, You may call me the hanger of the Pure, Dammer of the Just, Total [EUPHEMISM FOR "FOOL"] that wants you gone from the face of my beautiful planet

Now, ive seen alot of wierd [EUPHEMISM FOR "STUFF"] and ive only been here 5 minutes, i used to go to church every sunday, and what they said was good, and wholly, they accepted Homosexuals, becasue god said "love thy neighbor" and The gays and the hippies are our nighbors, and ive seen you give tags that say "eternally dammed" well you know what, piffle YOU, jesus says only the good lord above can judge us, and that includes our eternal souls, and us as people.

The Nazis should have found your people and locked them all in gas chambers instead of the Jews.

Those who Judge are Dammed to hell, so all your useless [EUPHEMISM FOR "UNPLEASANT PERSON"] of pastures,are themselves dammed for Judging others.

So yeah, here i am, i can be called Mr.Jhonson if you want, but im a bi-sexual, satan loving [EUPHEMISM FOR REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, HIPSTER, OR SIMILAR DELUSION OF GRANDIOSITY WITH A TOUCH OF ADVENTURE AND EXCITEMENT], who would like to saved by a real church, the god you worship is false, and thus you are all worshiping a false idol, and are therefor danmed.

Fear those who you love beacuse the one Jesus loved brought the romans, i will see you all in the fiery pits of hell, becuase i have guaranteed myself a spot in that wonderfull sauna, were i can watch you burn in etrnal agony while me and the all powerful lucifer some cigars and drink some nice hundred year old alcohol.

[Esther B.]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

What is all this vile babbling about? We're not damned, you are. Also, Jesus wasn't a Mexican.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

When you sober up, or dry out from the drugs, we may be able to talk some sense with you Mr Johnson. You see, Landover Baptist Church is one of the few examples of True Christianity(tm). I'm almost certain that you have found that which you seek. Just open your eyes and your heart, and you will realise that. We will even discuss with you the meaning of the word 'neighbor'. In the meantime, sober up, take off those filthy clothes, put on some clean ones, have a sleep and a good meal, then come back to us.

[Maxican, Jess us was]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Drugs, alcohol? My dear friend, i am proud to say i have never touched the stuff, it messes with your mind and blurs rational tought, i think this congragation need to stop dipping into the Cermaonial wine, and read the New testiment, i wear cloths as clean as jesssus heart, you on the otherhand seem to like the stain of eternal Damnation, again, I cannot be Judged by my peers, that is the Job of the lord, i will love my negihbors to the end, no matter if they are sinners, Killers, Rapists, Child molesters, Homosexuals, I will however not blindly follow the Good book to my doom, as it was not writen by god, or jessus, but by man, and man lies, We all have serpents in us. Historians have proven that it is very lickly the men that wrought the bible were using drugs, they were thought to "cleans the mind of inpure thoughts" and "allow god to be heard" at the time of Jesus, water was not drunken, instead beers and wines. Put your bibles aside for just a moment and read a history book, read of all the bad things the "deciples of christ" have done, the Crusades to kill thousands of inocent woman and children, the Nazi's, killing thousands, The KKK, Buring people alive like it was the medevil ages, Do not blindly follow what you are told by your high ups in this church, as the Anti-Christ, ready to destory the world will come as the most noble and holy of gods deciples.

[Nobar King]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Total asshole that wants you gone from the face of my beautiful planet

The Nazis should have found your people and locked them all in gas chambers instead of the Jews.

I cannot be Judged by my peers, that is the Job of the lord, i will love my negihbors to the end, no matter if they are sinners, Killers, Rapists, Child molesters, Homosexuals,

The mescal has clearly rotted away your brain, but I don't understand why you hate Christians so much. What did we ever do to you to make you so angry?

[DemonThinker96]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

The mescal has clearly rotted away your brain, but I don't understand why you hate Christians so much. What did we ever do to you to make you so angry?

Just because we don't agree with you doesn't mean we hate you

[James Hutchins]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Wow friend. You have a te,per tantrum and make a deal with the devil. Brilliant.

I suppose it is too late to try to save your soul. I've seen what happens when a messican makes deals with Satan. They leave brown patch in the lawns they mow. Have you no pride?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

So, my life was depressing, and my girlfriend at the time was a satanist, so i decided to make a pact with the all mighty lord Satan.

Im here to introduce myself, You may call me the hanger of the Pure, Dammer of the Just, Total asshole that wants you gone from the face of my beautiful planet

Now, ive seen alot of wierd shit and ive only been here 5 minutes, i used to go to church every sunday, and what they said was good, and wholly, they accepted Homosexuals, becasue god said "love thy neighbor" and The gays and the hippies are our nighbors, and ive seen you give tags that say "eternally dammed" well you know what, piffle YOU, jesus says only the good lord above can judge us, and that includes our eternal souls, and us as people.

The Nazis should have found your people and locked them all in gas chambers instead of the Jews.

Those who Judge are Dammed to hell, so all your useless twats of pastures,are themselves dammed for Judging others.

So yeah, here i am, i can be called Mr.Jhonson if you want, but im a bi-sexual, satan loving badass, who would like to saved by a real church, the god you worship is false, and thus you are all worshiping a false idol, and are therefor danmed.

Fear those who you love beacuse the one Jesus loved brought the romans, i will see you all in the fiery pits of hell, becuase i have guaranteed myself a spot in that wonderfull sauna, were i can watch you burn in etrnal agony while me and the all powerful lucifer some cigars and drink some nice hundred year old alcohol.

Many of your kind have come before this august and tolerant body exclaiming the same nonsense that you spout. I admit that the first time one of you showed up, it was a bit disconcerting, but we took solace in the fact that our suffering for the Lord God would have it's reward in Heaven. Since then, we have had to deal with one of you lost souls about once or twice a week and we are well used to seeing this kind of filth. I hope you don't think you have scored some mighty victory for your master, Satan.

I also see that you have accepted the same fallacy many of your kind have tried to impress us with. To wit: "while me and the all powerful l(sic)ucifer (presumably smoke) some cigars"*. Satan rules alone in Hell. All others there are consigned to the Lake that Burns Eternally, doomed to burn for the rest of time. That will be your fate, fool.


*The unsaved showed other, more perverted uses for cigars during the time of President Bill Clinton. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you do not want the Devil to probe your nether regions with a cigar, neither do you want to do the same to Old Scratch. Perhaps I am overly generous.

[Basilissa]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Drugs, alcohol? My dear friend, i am proud to say i have never touched the stuff, it messes with your mind and blurs rational tought,

I totally agree with the highlighted bit, which is why this -

i think this congragation need to stop dipping into the Cermaonial wine, and read the New testiment, i wear cloths as clean as jesssus heart, you on the otherhand seem to like the stain of eternal Damnation, again, I cannot be Judged by my peers, that is the Job of the lord, i will love my negihbors to the end, no matter if they are sinners, Killers, Rapists, Child molesters, Homosexuals, I will however not blindly follow the Good book to my doom, as it was not writen by god, or jessus, but by man, and man lies, We all have serpents in us. Historians have proven that it is very lickly the men that wrought the bible were using drugs, they were thought to "cleans the mind of inpure thoughts" and "allow god to be heard" at the time of Jesus, water was not drunken, instead beers and wines. Put your bibles aside for just a moment and read a history book, read of all the bad things the "deciples of christ" have done, the Crusades to kill thousands of inocent woman and children, the Nazi's, killing thousands, The KKK, Buring people alive like it was the medevil ages, Do not blindly follow what you are told by your high ups in this church, as the Anti-Christ, ready to destory the world will come as the most noble and holy of gods deciples.

...looks to me as stream of consciousness of somebody whose consciousness is heavily impaired by drugs and/or alcohol.

Have you ever heard of paragraphs, dear? What about spelling rules, do they ring a bell?

I think that what you're trying to say, though, is that 1) we do not follow the New Testament, and 2) that Jesus somehow made the Old Testament invalid (you don't really say that, but it's implicit).

1) Of course we follow what Jesus said. He wants us to make war:

Matthew 10:34-36
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

Jesus also gives us example how to treat people of lesser races:

Matthew 15:22-26
22 And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.
23 But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us.
24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
25 Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me.
26 But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs.

And infidels:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.


In addition, the New Testament also tells us that gays are worthy of death:

Romans 1:27-32
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

2. Just to clarify: while I have quoted from the New Testament to clarify your misconceptions about the New Testament, Jesus made it very clear that the Old Testament is still valid and needs to be followed to the letter:

Matthew 5:17-19
17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

I hope that was helpful, sweetie.

[mgreigns]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Get angry much? I must say your use of Jesus' Name in small lettering is an insult to God & His Son Jesus! Hopefully you will find Jesus and get off that stuff you are on!

So, my life was depressing, and my girlfriend at the time was a satanist, so i decided to make a pact with the all mighty lord Satan.

Im here to introduce myself, You may call me the hanger of the Pure, Dammer of the Just, Total [EUPHEMISM FOR "FOOL"] that wants you gone from the face of my beautiful planet

Now, ive seen alot of wierd [EUPHEMISM FOR "STUFF"] and ive only been here 5 minutes, i used to go to church every sunday, and what they said was good, and wholly, they accepted Homosexuals, becasue god said "love thy neighbor" and The gays and the hippies are our nighbors, and ive seen you give tags that say "eternally dammed" well you know what, piffle YOU, jesus says only the good lord above can judge us, and that includes our eternal souls, and us as people.

The Nazis should have found your people and locked them all in gas chambers instead of the Jews.

Those who Judge are Dammed to hell, so all your useless [EUPHEMISM FOR "UNPLEASANT PERSON"] of pastures,are themselves dammed for Judging others.

So yeah, here i am, i can be called Mr.Jhonson if you want, but im a bi-sexual, satan loving [EUPHEMISM FOR REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, HIPSTER, OR SIMILAR DELUSION OF GRANDIOSITY WITH A TOUCH OF ADVENTURE AND EXCITEMENT], who would like to saved by a real church, the god you worship is false, and thus you are all worshiping a false idol, and are therefor danmed.

Fear those who you love beacuse the one Jesus loved brought the romans, i will see you all in the fiery pits of hell, becuase i have guaranteed myself a spot in that wonderfull sauna, were i can watch you burn in etrnal agony while me and the all powerful lucifer some cigars and drink some nice hundred year old alcohol.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Just because we don't agree with you doesn't mean we hate you

Speak for yourself, dog. Anyone who disagrees with Jesus is worthy of our righteous hatred. Unless this illiterate cornholer embraces the risen lamb and allows Him to enter the nethermost depth of his being, there can be only enmity between him and us!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I made a pact with the Devil

Just because we don't agree with you doesn't mean we hate you

What possible could anyone have to disagree with the conditionally loving words of Holy Jesus other than a blind, unreasoning, bile derived hatred?

YIC