I hate introductions.

[Toot11]

Quickly going to go through the information I'm supposed to give.

Church: Don't go to church, though I did in my youth, though not of my own free will. I've kind of repressed those memories... And anyway, I don't think I'd attend church even if I were Christian, because I don't think it's something that's necessary, and actually a waste of time. You go there, listen to a guy talk about specific sections of the Bible and his interpretation of it. And don't get me started with churches that start with the cheesiest Christian music. Does anyone actually enjoy that, and not ironically?


Verse: Any of the ones that conform to my views, because cherrypicking is the way to go, right?


Unfortunately, I haven't come to see Jesus, though I feel fine in spite of that rather glaring flaw.


For things that matter:
20
Sophomore in college
Love music and film (album of the year is I Love You, Honeybear, by Father John Misty, and favorite film is Sicario, though Star Wars was fantastic, if a bit derivative).

[Alvin Moss]

Re: I hate introductions.

Welcome Trout. We are Christian here and friendly. This forum is open to all Christians who seek congress with other Christians. We can also help the unsaved achieve salvation through bringing you closer to the Lord. Are you here to seek Jesus? If not, what do you want on a Christian forum?


God Bless!

[Toot11]

Re: I hate introductions.

If not, what do you want on a Christian forum?

Same thing every non-Christian comes here for. I'm bored and want interesting conversation. Also, am a little depressed at the lose of Bowie. Going through his discography, right now.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: I hate introductions.

Greetings Trout. I am a student too and I am almost 21 years of age. We are the same age! We probably have many things in common. What school do you attend? I am a student at the University of Wisconsin where I am on scholarship due to the fact that I am a Black man. My studies include international relations and white girls. Are you a white girl? The more data I can collect the better my study will proceed. I am a frequent participant on this web site as part of my study of white people in Babylon. These are white people here and Christians of the Baptist type. I am a Christian but not a Baptist. I am Rastafari. I am the President of Black Lives Matter at my school and I am Chairman of the Student Committee to Smash Racism and Hate Speech. Are you a Media major? Most of the white girls at my school are either Media or Sociology majors. I was once a media major myself but I am not a white girl. I am a Black man.

[Toot11]

Re: I hate introductions.

What school do you attend?

UT Austin; majoring in history

Are you a white girl?

No, but if that happens to change, you'll definitely be the first person I tell.



Also, you're hilarious.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I hate introductions.

Same thing every non-Christian comes here for. I'm bored and want interesting conversation. Also, am a little depressed at the lose of Bowie. Going through his discography, right now.

I'm afraid that Mr Bowie (a well known homersexualist and of the ginger persuasion) will be in Hell as you read this.

Welcome to our friendly forums!

YIC

[Toot11]

Re: I hate introductions.

I'm afraid that Mr Bowie (a well known homersexualist and of the ginger persuasion) will be in Hell as you read this.

Welcome to our friendly forums!

YIC

He was bisexual, not gay. I mean, he has... had a wife...
And gingers are awesome. Just look at ginger Elvis (read: Josh Homme).

[Roland]

Re: I hate introductions.

[...]
And gingers are awesome.

Sure thing! Penelope taught us that!

[A Follower]

Re: I hate introductions.

Quickly going to go through the information I'm supposed to give.

Hello unsaved person, you say you hate introductions. Have you ever wondered why? It is because you are ashamed of yourself. You know deep in your heart you are evil, you know you're not supposed to ignore God, but you're afraid it's too late to come to Him. This is why you're here, God sent you here so we can reassure you it is not too late, it is never too late until you are burning in the fiery pits of Hell! Which of course might happen any moment now. I would not be surprised if God killed that false idol of yours, Bowie, as your final warning. Do you want to be a good person, someone who is not afraid to show himself to the world? Do you want respect? Do you want the good things in life?

If you want all that do just one thing: accept the Lord as your master and obey Him in everything, you too can be saved!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I hate introductions.

Sure thing! Penelope taught us that!

Why does she have a burnt face?

Evil Gingers have no souls

The evils of soulless Gingers

YIC

[Toot11]

Re: I hate introductions.

Hello unsaved person, you say you hate introductions. Have you ever wondered why? It is because you are ashamed of yourself. You know deep in your heart you are evil, you know you're not supposed to ignore God, but you're afraid it's too late to come to Him. This is why you're here, God sent you here so we can reassure you it is not too late, it is never too late until you are burning in the fiery pits of Hell! Which of course might happen any moment now. I would not be surprised if God killed that false idol of yours, Bowie, as your final warning. Do you want to be a good person, someone who is not afraid to show himself to the world? Do you want respect? Do you want the good things in life?

If you want all that do just one thing: accept the Lord as your master and obey Him in everything, you too can be saved!

What's with the armchair psychologist act? I hate introductions because they're just this mundane thing you have to do to get to more interesting conversation, and everyone just wants for it to be done as quickly as possible.

Why does she have a burnt face?

I think those are freckles, man. Interestingly enough, they generally increase attractiveness, especially on red heads.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I hate introductions.

What's with the armchair psychologist act? I hate introductions because they're just this mundane thing you have to do to get to more interesting conversation, and everyone just wants for it to be done as quickly as possible.

On this forum it is considered good manners to share where and when and who with we started our walk with Christ.

People who do not feel sufficiently confident in themselves to share are often atheists, homersexualists or liberals who have come to our quiet corner of the Inter Nets to mock Jesus and ride rough shod over our most cherished beliefs.

The same thing happens on the church's page on the Face Book: mockery and hate.

So the reason we ask is so that we can avoid being punished for our religious beliefs.

YIC

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I hate introductions.

Verse: Any of the ones that conform to my views, because cherrypicking is the way to go, right?

So you think you are funny? The interesting thing is that you actually are funny, but in a different way than you imagine. One day you will die, probably from some overdose or sexual disease, and you will get your well deserved punishment: the eternal fires of Hell. You will beg for mercy while screaming in agony for ever and ever. But your begging will be useless as Jesus only forgives sins of those who are still alive. That is when you will be funny. Jesus and I will be laughing and laughing at your well deserved suffering.

[Didymus Much]

Re: I hate introductions.

...Verse: Any of the ones that conform to my views, because cherrypicking is the way to go, right?...

If you want to go to Hell, the Bible says that's a really good start. The only way to get to Heaven (according to the Bible) is to obey every last bit of it, completely, and perfectly:

James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

Now, I'm sure that if you actually read the Bible (protip: knowing what it really says is pretty darned handy when you're trying to discuss it without looking like an ignorant asshat), you'd find one that really moves you. Just no using Exodus 34:14 (I got dibs).

[Toot11]

Re: I hate introductions.

On this forum it is considered good manners to share where and when and who with we started our walk with Christ.

I did, though. Was Christian, now I'm not. It's not an uncommon narrative.

People who do not feel sufficiently confident in themselves to share are often atheists, homersexualists or liberals who have come to our quiet corner of the Inter Nets to mock Jesus and ride rough shod over our most cherished beliefs.

The same thing happens on the church's page on the Face Book: mockery and hate.

So the reason we ask is so that we can avoid being punished for our religious beliefs.

You won't see me make fun of any religious beliefs, Christian, Islam, anything, even if I'd like to. Snark is just inherently funny to most everyone, even if they don't admit it. I did make fun of cherrypicking, but you guys don't do that, right?

So you think you are funny? The interesting thing is that you actually are funny

I will take that compliment!

One day you will die, probably from some overdose or sexual disease, and you will get your well deserved punishment: the eternal fires of Hell. You will beg for mercy while screaming in agony for ever and ever. But your begging will be useless as Jesus only forgives sins of those who are still alive. That is when you will be funny. Jesus and I will be laughing and laughing at your well deserved suffering.

Only drug I've ever done (and ever will do) is marijuana. You know how much of that is needed to OD. I'd be more concerned at why I'm spending all that money, more than anything.