Hail from the Northmen!

[valhallabound]

Hello, my Christian friends. I am a mighty warrior, son of the wolf, brother to the eagle, favored of Thor and Tyr. I would like to learn about your faith, and understand why you choose to follow a god who failed to save his own son.
Failing that, I am willing to take several of you as slaves, along with a man's weight in silver. Those of you who resist will be tossed into the frigid North Sea.
Know that I have brought with me the mighty hammer Hjalfing, a weapon whose fame you know well.
I may also take the head of King Aethelred as punishment for his aggression against my kinsfolk
Sorry if this post seems rambling. I looted a cask of altar wine from the last church I looted, and I'm beginning to get tipsy.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

Hello, my Christian friends. I am a mighty warrior, son of the wolf, brother to the eagle, favored of Thor and Tyr. I would like to learn about your faith, and understand why you choose to follow a god who failed to save his own son.
Failing that, I am willing to take several of you as slaves, along with a man's weight in silver. Those of you who resist will be tossed into the frigid North Sea.
Know that I have brought with me the mighty hammer Hjalfing, a weapon whose fame you know well.
I may also take the head of King Aethelred as punishment for his aggression against my kinsfolk
Sorry if this post seems rambling. I looted a cask of altar wine from the last church I looted, and I'm beginning to get tipsy.

I think you're 1000 years too late for all that.

Now seriously: what church do you go to, what is your favorite Bible verse, and how did you meet Jesus?

[valhallabound]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

I think you're 1000 years too late for all that.

Now seriously: what church do you go to, what is your favorite Bible verse, and how did you meet Jesus?

I visit Uppsala every four years, sacrifice a few priests, y'know. As for my favorite verse, I've always favored this, from Havamal:

Praise day at even, a wife when dead,
a weapon when tried, a maid when married,
ice when 'tis crossed, and ale when 'tis drunk.

As for how I met Jesus, well, I became very drunk one evening and woke up in the great church of Miklagard. There, the priests fed me his flesh and blood - Tasted an awful lot like bread and cheap wine, but I suppose a god can taste however he likes. They told me I was a Christian now, so I decided to visit you fine fellows to see what the holy church would give to succor a poor heathen.

Now that introductions are out of the way, please follow me to my longship.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

I visit Uppsala every four years, sacrifice a few priests, y'know. As for my favorite verse, I've always favored this, from Havamal:

Praise day at even, a wife when dead,
a weapon when tried, a maid when married,
ice when 'tis crossed, and ale when 'tis drunk.

As for how I met Jesus, well, I became very drunk one evening and woke up in the great church of Miklagard. There, the priests fed me his flesh and blood - Tasted an awful lot like bread and cheap wine, but I suppose a god can taste however he likes. They told me I was a Christian now, so I decided to visit you fine fellows to see what the holy church would give to succor a poor heathen.

Now that introductions are out of the way, please follow me to my longship.

Havamál? Powerful poetry, a country that had widespread literacy in the 13th century, not only oral tradition but the old poems written down.

Seems glorious. Let us consider this verse:
Deyr fé deyja frændur, deyr sjálfur ið sama en orðstír deyr aldregi, hveim er sér góðan getur.

It is magnificent it its oratory force.

Now let us consider what these 13th century Icelanders got from this eloquent yet alluringly masculine poetry?

Nothing. They had chosen Catholicism in the year 1000. They could have chosen Christianity, they could have chosen Jesus. Instead they chose a tradition (pun intended) that was worse than the Norse demons.

Powerful verses, I agree. But there is something much more powerful!

Psalms 29:4
The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

You have still time (but not much). You can do the right choice!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

Hello, my Christian friends. I am a mighty warrior, son of the wolf, brother to the eagle, favored of Thor and Tyr. I would like to learn about your faith, and understand why you choose to follow a god who failed to save his own son.
Failing that, I am willing to take several of you as slaves, along with a man's weight in silver. Those of you who resist will be tossed into the frigid North Sea.
Know that I have brought with me the mighty hammer Hjalfing, a weapon whose fame you know well.
I may also take the head of King Aethelred as punishment for his aggression against my kinsfolk
Sorry if this post seems rambling. I looted a cask of altar wine from the last church I looted, and I'm beginning to get tipsy.

You do know that this is a Christian forum and not some RPG network where people adopt stupid imagined personas, don't you.

Go back to 4Chan.

YIC

[valhallabound]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

Havamál? Powerful poetry, a country that had widespread literacy in the 13th century, not only oral tradition but the old poems written down.

Seems glorious. Let us consider this verse:
Deyr fé deyja frændur, deyr sjálfur ið sama en orðstír deyr aldregi, hveim er sér góðan getur.

It is magnificent it its oratory force.

Now let us consider what these 13th century Icelanders got from this eloquent yet alluringly masculine poetry?

Nothing. They had chosen Catholicism in the year 1000. They could have chosen Christianity, they could have chosen Jesus. Instead they chose a tradition (pun intended) that was worse than the Norse demons.

Powerful verses, I agree. But there is something much more powerful!

Psalms 29:4
The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

You have still time (but not much). You can do the right choice!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

You are wise, for you speak the truth about the agents of the pope. But in other ways, you are not so wise, for you persecute wise old women, and leave no offerings to the mischievous house-elves.
We are not so different, you and I. Your angels and saints are the same as our gods. We too believe in the end of the world, the giants of ice, and the place known as Hel. Perhaps, someday, our gods can learn to get along, and there will be peace between our kinds.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hail from the Northmen!

Perhaps, someday, our gods can learn to get along, and there will be peace between our kinds.

Or, maybe not.

The One God is a jealous God and will have no truck with pretenders.